Get Back
by Alyssa4
Summary: a continuance of my Weak Link series. Dave, of course. More Jing Mei and Carter. Thanks for the reviews!
1. Default Chapter

Get Back: I'm So Tired  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
  
  
Dave walked into the ER, not even looking at the admit desk (though plenty people at the admit desk looked at him). Instead, he headed directly towards the lounge. He walked through the door and directly to the couch, not even acknowleding Abby, who was getting some coffee. Trying to act as though at a leisure pace, Abby filled her cup and slowly went over to sit on a chair. "Hey Dave." She said causually. Dave looked at her for the first time and merely shook his head. "Dave, somethings wrong. I can tell."   
  
Dave looked at her a moment. He had already decided not to tell anybody, but then he remembered what Bill the pysch guy had said. He sighed and leaned back, preparing himself for 'Oh I'm so sorry!' s and 'Oh that's too bad!' s.   
"I was evicted." Dave said plainly. Abby's jaw dropped open slightly, as though to take a drink of her coffee.  
"What?" She asked, bewildered.  
"I was evicted," Dave repeated. "I've been behind on my bills practically ever since I moved in. I missed the last couple of months completely."  
  
Abby waited a moment, trying to register everything. "How could they?" Abby finally asked, full of contempt. "You've been in the hospital so much lately they have to give you some more time."  
"What money I had the medical bills wiped out. I couldn't make those payments or any more for a long time. I knew, my landlord knew. "He's just trying to make a living." Dave tried to explain. Abby didn't understand him, or how he could be so forgiving.   
"Plus," Dave added, as if to sway her more, "He's letting me store my stuff at his place until I find somewhere to live."   
  
There was a long silence. Neither of them really knew what to say. Then suddenly Abby's mind switched back in gear. "Well, where are you going to live?" Abby asked. She went to the first person she could think of. "How about Kerry? You could live where Carter used to." Dave looked at her with a doubtful look.  
"Live with Cheif? We'd probably end up killing each other." Dave answered.  
"What about Carter?" Abby asked, determined to find some one Dave could stay with.  
"You mean live with Carter and his 'Gamma' ?" Dave asked, another skeptical look on his face.  
"Why not?" Abby continued. "I'm sure they'd let you. And anything is better then Kerry." Dave could agree to that.  
~~~  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
~~~  
Almost as soon as Carter entered the ER, Abby was on him.  
"How are you doing Abby?" Carter asked her pleasently while turning for the lounge.  
"Yeah, I heard you were on." Abby responded, totally ignoring his greeting. "So, have you talked to Dave yet?" she coninued.  
"No, what's up with him now? Was he hit by a train?" Carter asked. He had ment this as a joke, but the look on Abby's face told him she wasn't taking it as one. "OK Abby. What is it?" he asked as he started to unlock his locker.  
Abby took a deep breath then started. "Dave was evicted. I'm was trying to find him some place to stay for a while and I thought of you. Do you think someone could stay with you for a while if they needed to?"  
Carter was a little shakened by this, but answered honestly. "Yeah, sure I guess. If it was OK with Gamma."  
"Good so you'll ask her." Abbey said, looking him in the eye unrelentlously.  
"Sure, right after I get ready."  
~~~  
Right after John got ready he was bombarded by Kerry and a ton of patients and paper work. It wasn't until he saw Dave later that day that he even remembered.  
  
Dave was carrying some a small back pack and was heading towards the lounge. Carter put the chart he was holding back down and headed towards the lounge. Dave was standing by his locker trying to fit the back pack into it.  
"Hi, Dave." Carter said, more to announce his presence than as an actual greeting. Dave turned slightly.  
"Oh, hey Carter." Then he continued to punch and jam the back pack in. Carter stood for a moment, trying to carefully word what he was about to say, then decided to just get to it.  
"Abby told me about your, ah, situation. If you're still looking for a place to stay, I'm sure my Gamma would let you stay with us."   
Dave just grunted as he finally was able to get his back pack in. He turned to face Carter.  
"I am still looking for a place, actually." he said. Carter nodded.  
"So, I'll call Gamma if you'd like." Carter said slowly.  
"Sure, I'll be in the Cafeteria." Dave said, then he walked briskly past Carter and out the door.  
~~~  
JO JO WAS A MAN WHO THOUGHT HE WAS A LONER,  
BUT HE KNEW IT COULDN'T LAST.  
JO JO LEFT HIS HOME IN TUCSON, ARIZONA,  
FOR SOME CALIFORNIA GRASS.  
  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
~~~  
  
Dave was sitting the cafeteria with a cup of coffe clutched in between his two hands. He was, very enthutiastically, staring at the swirling white of the cream he'd just put in when someone tapped him on the shoulder. He turned around to see the sympathetically smiling Jing Mei.  
"Hi Jing Mei."  
"Hey Dave. May I sit?" she asked, already pulling back the chair next to his.  
"Sure." He answered, trying to return to his staring.  
"Dave," Jing Mei started. "I know we haven't always been on good terms, But I think we could be friends."  
"Sure, whatever you say." Dave answered frigidly.  
  
"Dave. I heard you were evicted." Jing Mei said plainly.  
"Good news travels fast." Dave answered.  
"Listen Dave, if you ever need anything, anything at all, feel free to call me." Jing Mei said, keeping her patience. Dave turned from his coffe and looked at her.  
"I will." He kept staring at her, and she stared back for a moment.  
"OK Dave, I really should be getting back to work." Jing Mei said, standing up again.  
"Yeah." Dave said softly and waved her off.  
  
After she left he returned to his coffee. He few weeks ago Jing Mei barely acknowledged his exsistance, and now she was nice and supportive. All he had to do was try to kill hmself, get beat up, and go mildly insane.  
~~~  
I'M SO TIRED, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO,  
I'M SO TIRED, MY MIND IS SET ON YOU.  
I WONDER SHOULD I CALL YOU,  
BUT I KNOW WHAT YOU WOULD DO.  
  
YOU'D SAY I'M PUTTING YOU ON,  
BUT IT'S NO JOKE, IT'S DOING ME HARM.  
YOU KNOW I CAN'T SLEEP, I CAN'T STOP MY BRAIN,  
YOU KNOW IT'S THREE WEEKS, I'M GOING INSANE.  
YOU KNOW I'D GIVE YOU EV'RYTHING I'VE GOT  
FOR A LITTLE PEACE OF MIND.  
I'D GIVE YOU EV'RYTHING I'VE GOT  
FOR A LITTLE PEACE OF MIND.  
~~~  
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	2. Get Back: Come Together

  
Get Back: Come Together  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
  
"Who's this man again?" Gamma asked as she and Carter sat around the kitchen table.  
"Dave Malucci, Gamma. I told you, he works with me."  
"Right..." She said, her forehead furrowing in thought. Then the wrinkles erased as it came to her. "Isn't he the one you've been talking about lately?"  
"Yes." Carter answered, already knowing where this was going.  
"Was he the one who tried to kill himself?" gamma asked, a semi-concerned look on her face. Carter nodded.  
"Yes Gamma, but he's all right now. He just needs a place to stay." Gamma nodded to say she understood.  
"OK. So he's coming at noon? Well, I'm dying to meet him." With that she poured the rest of her drink into he sink and went to quickly check in on the guest room.  
~~~  
Come together, right now, over me  
  
Here come old flattop he come grooving up slowly...  
~~~  
  
"Gamma, I think he's here!" Carter called up as he saw a beat up old car coming up the driveway. *I didn't know Dave had a car.* Carter thought. Just as Dave was stepping out of the passenger seat Gamma appeared in the door frame next to Carter. Dave slung a back pack around one shoulder and went to the trunk to retrieve his bike, which was sticking haphazardly out the back. Carter saw Dave struggling with the rope that held the bike in so he stepped forward.  
"Let me help you." He said, walking forward.   
  
After only a little effort they managed to get the bike out of the car. Dave closed the trunk and yelled "Thanks Cliff." then softly to Carter, "Time to meet Gamma?" Carter smiled only slightly and walked with Dave as he pushed his bike towards the house.  
  
Gamma immediately noted Dave's appearance. He had bags under his eyes, and the look of someone who had recently lost a lot of weight. His eyes were dull and had a distracted look about them. A false smile was plastered on his face and he stood slightly slumped over. Despite all this she could tell he was a very good looking man, and right then she set herself on a mission to bring him back to health.  
  
When they were close enough Carter made the introductions.  
"Gamma, Dave. Dave, Gamma." He said.  
"Nice to meet you." Dave said, extending a slightly shaking hand.  
"Nice to meet you too." Gamma said, grabbing Dave's hand in a firm handshake.  
"Um. Why don't you leave your bike here and I'll show you to the guest room." Carter said, trying to avoid any awkward silence.  
Dave followed Carter around the house. He tried not to look at anything, just being in this house made him nervous. One room in this house was probably worth more than his family would make their whole lives. Dave was glad when they finally reached their destination. The room was plain, but nice. It had a queen size bed with think, billowing comforters. There was a night table and a dresser in the corner. A generous closet stood completely empty, and, best of all, there was an adjoining bathroom. Dave dropped his back pack on the floor and sat on the bed, facing Carter. Carter quickly thought of something to say.   
"So where's all you stuff." Carter asked.  
"Most of it is still at Cliff's. I'm going to pick some more stuff up later." Dave answered. Carter nodded. He wanted to say more, but he really couldn't think of anything.  
"I'm sorry, but I'm working today. I'm probably going to leave early though. That's one nice thing about first coming back to work, Kerry is actually very supportive." Dave nodded and waved him off. Carter lingered for another second then stepped out of the room.  
  
Dave sat on the bed for a while, looking around his room. Then he decided he needed to get out. He tried to sneak back to the front door but Carter's Gamma caught him. "Do you want some lunch? I could cook something up real quick." She asked him. Dave shook his head.  
"No thanks. I think I'm going to go for a ride." With that he left quickly, grabbed his bike, and set off.  
~~~  
He say" I know you, you know me"  
One thing I can tell you is you got to be free  
Come together right now over me  
~~~  
  
After a seeing a few patients Carter saw Kerry limping up towards him. *Oh, No.* he thought *More rules and regulations.* He tried to turn away, but Kerry's voice pierced through the air.  
"Carter." She called loudly. Carter turned to face her, hiding his reluctance.  
"Yes?" He asked.  
"I heard Dave was living with you." She said as she finally caught up with him. Carter nodded, good this wasn't about him.  
"He has sleeping pills he is supposed to take every night." Kerry continued. Carter nodded, even though he didn't really know where she was going with this.  
"I want you to make sure he takes them." She finished. *Oh,* Carter thought, *She wants me to be her little law enforcer.*  
"Sure thing." He finally settled on saying.  
  
Kerry nodded. "OK, you can return to your patients." With this she walked off. Carter continued on his way to Exam 2, thinking all the way that he didn't want the job.  
  
~~~  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
~~~  
  
Dave rode his bike to a small grocery store and poked around it a bit, but he wasn't hungry and he didn't have much money anyway. Then he headed towards the water. He got off his bike to sit on a bench. As he stared into the rippling water he remembered a time, many years ago, when he had done almost he same exact thing. It was a long time ago, and it had been for a very different reason.  
~~~  
  
Jing Mei stared at the admitting board. She was trying to remember what case she had decided to take just minutes ago, but her mind had wandered. Thanks to the new clear board she saw Carter walking by and quickly got up. "Carter!" She called. Hopping off the chair where she had been resting her legs she ran up to him. He turned and smiled at her.  
"Jing Mei, what is it?" He asked, emphasizing her name.  
"I heard Dave moved in with you." Jing Mei said, not noticing the slight flickering of Carter's smile.  
"Yes he did." He said in a more serious tone.  
"Is he all right?" She asked.  
"I don't know, he just moved in today, and I had to come almost directly to work." He answered, a little annoyed. Jing Mei nodded, not noticing Carter's annoyance.  
"Keep me posted will ya?" She asked. Carter nodded and walked off.  
  
When he turned his back on her his face blushed red. He didn't know why he was so jealous of Dave. It wasn't like he had a thing for Jing Mei, or did he? He shook it off, of course he didn't. Maybe he just wanted some attention. Then something occurred to him, he wondered if other people were jealous of him after he and Lucy were attacked. Hey, maybe Dave was jealous. Once again he shook his thoughts off, he didn't want to dwell on it now.  
~~~  
He say "One and one and one is three"  
Got to be good-looking 'cause he's so hard to see  
Come together right now over me  
~~~  
  
Dave had the great timing of arriving back at the Carter Residence just as Carter was getting home. Carter was reaching into his car to pull out his coat and he saw Dave coming up the drive.  
"Been out all day Dave?" Carter asked, even though he really didn't care.  
"Yeah, how was your day?" Dave responded, not caring either.  
"You know, the usual." Carter said. Dave nodded, even though in the ER there was never a 'usual' day. They walked together in silence. When they got to the door Dave stepped back so Carter could enter first.  
  
Carter was about to turn towards the kitchen when he saw Dave heading in the direction of the guest room. "Going to bed already?" Carter asked.  
"Yeah," Dave answered without turning, "I'm kind of tired."   
Carter had turned and had started towards the kitchen again when he remembered what Kerry had told him to do.   
  
Carter sprinted to catch up with Dave, then continued to walk with him.   
"Kerry talked to me today." he said, trying to ease into the subject.  
"Oh yeah?" Dave asked, a little suspicion in his voice.  
"She said that you were taking some pills to help you sleep, and that I should make sure you don't forget to take them." Carter voiced. Dave knew what this meant, and they walked the rest of the way in silence. When they got to the room Dave went straight for his bag. He pulled out a small pill bottle and proceeded to the bathroom. Carter reluctantly followed him.  
  
Dave poured two pills into his palm, popped them into his mouth, then filled his hand with water. Taking a deep slurp he felt the pills go down, and he could almost feel the bad dreams creeping in. To turned to Carter, a look on his facing asking 'what should I do now?'. Dave finally settled on opening his mouth. saying 'ahhh' and moving his tongue around. Carter smiled.  
"Good night, Dave." Carter said and he walked out.  
  
Dave stayed in the bathroom a while, watching Carter walk out of his room, then he headed to the bed. Dave slipped out of his clothes and went under the covers in his boxers. Staring at the ceiling he noticed that it was textured with glitter all around. The last thing he thought of was that his grandma's house had had the same thing.  
  
~~~  
... He was standing in front of Carter's house, but it wasn't Carter's house. It was his grandma's house, it just looked like Carter's house. His first thought was that there must be people in the house. In this secluded area the nearest phone was too far to run. He knew he had to get the people out. He ran through the burning door frame and was immediately attacked by waves of smoke. His eyes stung and his throat ached. He ran quickly from room to room, finding all of them empty. He ran up the stairs, flames licking his feet. They were up there, he knew, he could feel them.   
  
He reached the top of the stairs and turned quickly. He stopped to find himself standing right in front of Mr. Mason. Dave was about to run when Mr. Mason turned into a copy of Dave. Dave stood there, perplexed, then his copy lashed out. He didn't know what had happened until it was already done. He held his hands out in front of him. Blood trickled from his wrists to the floor, only to sizzle and burn in the flames. He could hear the people screaming now, but he couldn't do anything. He couldn't breath, and he felt his body growing weaker. He fell, unwillingly, to the floor. He lie on his back, staring at the ceiling. The glitter glowed orange and red from the reflection of the fire. He lied there for only a couple of seconds before the flames totally engulfed his vision...  
  
Then his eyes opened and he could see the ceiling again. He lie there panting, trying to convince himself it was all just a dream. It had to be a dream.   
Someone told him once that dreams were the answers to questions you didn't yet know how to ask. If that was true, he wondered what his dream had meant.  
  
~~~  
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I love comments, critcism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  



	3. Get Back: Strawberry Fields Forever

  
Get Back: Strawberry Fields Forever  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave was evicted and moved in with Carter. Kerry has Carter making sure Dave takes his sleeping pills. Dave is still having nightmares.  
  
Dave rushed to the bathroom and immediately turned on the facet. He soaked his face in cold water and rubbed all the sleep out of his eyes. He stood shaking, grasping the edges of the sink. He stared at his reflection in the mirror and came to a realization. He wasn't strong enough to do this every night. He wished he was, but he wasn't. Silently he thanked his Uncle for teaching him slight of hand. Every other night, he told himself. Just every other night he would pocket the pills, just every other night.  
~~~  
ALWAYS, NO, SOMETIMES, THINK IT'S ME.  
BUT YOU KNOW I KNOW WHEN IT'S A DREAM.  
I THINK,  
NO, I MEAN,   
YES, BUT IT'S ALL WRONG  
THAT IS I THINK I DISAGREE  
~~~  
Gamma was already in the kitchen and in the process of cooking pancakes when Dave crept down he stairs.  
"I hope you're going to eat this morning." She announced without turning around. "Or you'll see me in a mood." She turned around with a sweet motherly smile. "Sit down." she commanded as he motioned to the kitchen table.  
  
Dave, very reluctantly, made his way to the table and plopped down in a seat.   
"Are you going out again today?" Gamma asked, already turned back around.  
"Yes, I'm have to go to the hospital." Dave responded generally.  
"Are you going to ride your bike?"  
"I was planning on it."  
"Then you better eat up and get your energy."  
  
Dave sighed and rested his forehead on the table, this woman was incorrigible.  
~~~  
LET ME TAKE YOU DOWN 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO STRAWBERRY FIELDS.  
NOTHING IS REAL, AND NOTHING TO GET HUNG ABOUT.  
STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER.  
~~~  
When Dave reached the hospital he avoided the ER entirely. He wasn't in the mood to see anyone right now. He rode the elevator with a bunch of old people. He was more then happy to get off on the Pysch floor. He walked quickly up to the desk. The bubbly blond secretary smiled at him. "Just a couple of minutes Dave." Dave nodded as he signed in then went and sat down. He always found himself nervous right before his sessions, and he didn't know why. Once he was in the room he was perfectly all right.  
~~~  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED YEAH.  
~~~  
Carter stumbled sleepily down the stairs and fell into the kitchen.   
"Good morning John. I've got pancakes." his gamma declared. "There are only three left and they are starting to get cold. If your friend wants to he can have quite an appetite."  
John looked at her, confused. He had no idea what she was talking about.  
"Dave." Gamma said, reminding Carter.  
  
Carter nodded and helped himself to two pancakes, dousing them with syrup. "Where is Dave?" He asked as he began to cut up his pancakes.  
"He said he had to go to the hospital." gamma responded. "I just wish he would take a car."  
Carter smiled slightly when he thought of this.  
~~~  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
  
~~~  
"So you have been taking your sleeping pills?" Bill asked. Dave nodded.  
"You can ask Carter is you want."  
"No, I believe you. So are you still having night mares?" Bill asked him as he did every session.  
"Yes." Dave nodded.  
"So.... What was this one about?"  
Dave explained his dream as best he could. Bill nodded and took notes throughout it. Dave didn't like that. He wished that for once Bill would just sit and listen. When he was done, Dave waited for Bill's analysis.  
  
"So this time, the real bad guy was you?" Bill asked.  
Dave nodded, "Sure, I guess."  
"Interesting..." writing notes "And you were in your grandma's house?" notes, notes "Fire, huh?" notes, notes, notes  
~~~  
LIVING IS EASY WITH EYES CLOSED  
MISUNDERSTANDING ALL YOU SEE.  
IT'S GETTING HARD TO BE SOMEONE BUT IT ALL WORKS OUT  
IT DOESN'T MATTER MUCH TO ME.  
~~~  
Dave left the office unfeeling. He didn't really care anymore. When he asked Bill when he could get back to work he had only said 'soon'. Dave wasn't really paying attention when he walked into the elevator. He reluctantly found himself trapped inside with Jing Mei.  
"Dave!" She exclaimed.  
"Jing Mei!" Dave mocked as he turned with a smile. Jing mei giggled nervously.  
"So how have you been?" Jing Mei asked.  
"Fine." Dave answered, much to her displeasure.  
  
"We've all been worried about you." Jing Mei said sincerely. Dave only nodded. "Dave, just take your time. Some things shouldn't be rushed." She continued, knowing full well that he was trying to get back to work.  
"I know, I just get so bored." Dave said. He meant it too, he didn't like being bored. When you were bored your mind had time to dwell on things that it shouldn't dwell on.  
"That's hardly a reason to strain yourself. But hey, we're all anxiously awaiting the day you return. In your absence you have gained sainthood. Even Benton and Romano love you."  
Dave had to laugh at this, he had no choice. When it came out it sounded rusty, in all meanings of the word.  
  
"It's nice to hear you laugh, Dave. This is my floor." She said as she smiled sweetly and walked off the elevator.  
  
Dave sighed and quickly pushed the close door button.  
~~~  
LET ME TAKE YOU DOWN 'CAUSE I'M GOING TO STRAWBERRY FIELDS.  
NOTHING IS REAL, AND NOTHING TO GET HUNG ABOUT  
STRAWBERRY FIELDS FOREVER.  
~~~  
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I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  



	4. Get Back: Help!

Get Back: Help!  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave was evicted and moved in with Carter. Kerry has Carter making sure Dave takes his sleeping pills. Dave is still having nightmares, and has decided to only take his pills every other day. He also seems to have social anxiety.  
  
When Dave came home most of the lights in the house were off. He wondered where Carter and Gamma could be. He parked his bike and unlocked the door with his new key. The door swung open to reveal a dark house. Dave, who by six was the only boy not afraid of the dark, suddenly got a feeling that someone was hiding in the shadows. He turned around to see that the sky too was growing dark, casting long shadows on the ground. He felt vulnerable. Suddenly the only thing he wanted was to have someone he trusted by him.   
  
He ran through the house, turning on all the lights, until he finally found the phone. He dialed the number for the ER quickly and waited impatiently, silently damning Randi.   
"Hello?" Randi answered distantly.  
"Randi, is Jing Mei there?" Dave asked quickly.  
"Dave? Yeah, hold on." Randi responded, shocked by the urgency in Dave's voice. Elevator music suddenly played into Dave's ear. He waited impatiently as the seconds seemed to stretch.  
~~~  
WHEN I WAS YOUNGER, SO MUCH YOUNGER THAN TODAY,  
I NEVER NEEDED ANY HELP IN ANY WAY  
AND NOW THESE DAYS ARE GONE  
I'M NOT SO SELF ASSURED  
NOW I FIND I'VE CHANGED MY MIND  
I'VE OPENED UP THE DOORS  
~~~  
  
"Jing Mei!" Randi called as she burst into the lounge. Jing Mei turned irritably, if she was taken away from her coffee one more time...  
"What is it?"  
"I've got Dave on the phone. He wants to talk to you. It sounded urgent." Randi voiced.  
Jing Mei immediately set down her coffee cup and followed Randi briskly to the admit desk. She picked up the phone and pushed the hold button.  
  
"Dave?" She asked, concern evident in her voice.  
"Jing Mei?" A voice asked back.  
"Dave? Are you all right?" She asked.  
"When do you get off?" Dave asked, ignoring her question.  
  
Kerry had appeared next to Jing Mei and was listening in on the conversation. Jing Mei turned to her with a silent question in her eyes. Kerry nodded.  
"Right now Dave. Where do you want me to meet you?"  
~~~  
HELP! I NEED SOMEBODY  
HELP! NOT JUST ANYBODY  
HELP! YOU KNOW I NEED SOMEBODY  
HELP!  
  
Jing Mei walked awkwardly into the small coffee shop Dave had told her to meet him in. She had never been there before. She did a quick scan of all the tables until her eyes fell on Dave. He wasn't facing her, but she knew it was him. She walked over to the booth and quickly slipped in across from him. She smiled weakly. "So, how long have you been waiting?" She asked him. Dave shrugged, he seemed reluctant to look at her.  
"Only about five minutes." he finally answered. Jing Mei stared at him, intending to give him a meaningful look. It failed because he still wouldn't look at her.  
"What do you need to talk about?" Jing Mei asked finally. Dave shrugged again, but this time his answer came quickly.  
"I don't really remember anymore." What he meant was that it was stupid and he didn't want to admit it.  
  
"Are you seeing a therapist?" Jing Mei asked knowingly. Dave nodded, finally looking at her. She read his eyes like a book 'I am going to a therapist but it doesn't help'.   
"Dave, you've got to give it time."  
"How long has it been Jing Mei? I took some time after I tried to commit suicide, even more time after I was beat up. Now, tell me how successful that was." Now was the time he looked her in the eye, the one moment she didn't want him to. The truth was that she agreed with him. He had been seeing his therapist for quite some time and he had obviously still been under distress when he had taken his pills.  
  
"Maybe you should get a new doctor." Jing Mei suggested.  
"Bill is the best the hospital has, and I can't afford a better one." he answered simply.  
"Maybe you just need company." Jing Mei said with little conviction. "How about I meet you again tomorrow?" She asked. Dave nodded slowly. Jing Mei smiled and ordered a coffee.  
~~~  
AND NOW MY LIFE HAS CHANGED IN OH SO MANY WAYS  
MY INDEPENDENCE SEEMS TO VANISH IN THE HAZE  
BUT EVERY NOW AND THEN I FEEL SO INSECURE  
I KNOW THAT I JUST NEED YOU LIKE I'VE NEVER DONE BEFORE  
~~~  
  
Jing Mei met him the next day like she promised. It was sunny outside and the coffee shop seemed more inviting. She found Dave facing her this time, looking up and smiling. Jing Mei was more than relieved, she didn't think she could handle the solemn Dave much longer.  
"Get a good nights sleep?" She asked. Dave's smile faltered, recovered, then faltered again as he answered. "Yes."  
Jing Mei pretended not to notice, if he wanted to tell her he would. The waitress came around and Jing Mei ordered her coffee. Once the waitress left Dave started to talk.  
"I was wondering if you'd help me find an apartment." He said suddenly. Jing Mei was caught a little off balance. She wasn't expecting this, but at least it wasn't to bad.  
"I thought you were tight on money." she answered.  
"I have some money saved up, I didn't bother to use it before because I knew I would still be evicted. Plus, if Kerry would let me come back to work soon..." Dave smiled.  
"I'll work on her." Jing Mei answered with a smile. She didn't ask why he wanted to get out of Carter's house. She could already guess some reasons: it was too big, to delicate and expensive, Gamma was bothering him, Carter was bothering him. Whatever it was Jing Mei trusted Dave to make the right decision (after all that had happened she didn't know why).  
~~~  
  
I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  
  



	5. Get Back: Nowhere Man

Get Back: Nowhere Man  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave is still having nightmares, and has decided to only take his pills every other day. He also seems to have social anxiety.   
He started to confide in Jing Mei. He is also wanting to get an apartment and move out of Carter's house.  
  
***ATTENTION***  
This is a short part to act as a filler until  
my next big plot.  
  
"Thanks for helping me move in Carter." Dave said after they had unloaded the last of the boxes.  
"It was nothing." Carter answered. His back hurt slightly from the strain of the weight but he didn't say anything. "You could have stayed with us longer if you wanted to." He said yet again.  
"I know. I just wanted my own apartment." Dave answered.   
  
Carter was glad that Dave was moving out. Now he wouldn't have to be Kerry's slave anymore, plus having Dave around depressed him. He had always thought of Dave as being the type of guy who went out every night and had fun, but now all Dave was hide in his room or sneak out on his bike. Not that Carter did anything either.  
  
~~~  
HE'S A REAL NOWHERE MAN  
SITTING IN HIS NOWHERE LAND,  
MAKING ALL HIS NOWHERE PLANS FOR NOBODY.  
~~~  
  
Dave started to unpack his clothes. It was all he had to do. Thankfully Kerry was letting him go back to work soon. Dave thought that Bill had probably convinced her that it was best for him. What did Bill know?   
But Dave couldn't legitimately argue with him either. Dave didn't know what was best for himself.  
  
~~~  
DOESN'T HAVE A POINT OF VIEW,  
KNOWS NOT WHERE HE'S GOING TO,  
ISN'T HE A BIT LIKE YOU AND ME?  
~~~  
Jing Mei debated weither she should call Dave or not. She had helped him find the apartment a couple of days before. It had been fun, and for once Dave had let up. He had laughed and joked and basically been himself. He was different still somehow, at least she felt differently about him. She was confused, but still pretty sure that something was sparking between them. She wanted to tell him or at least say something, but she didn't know how or if it was the right time.   
In the end she didn't call. 'I'll let it work itself out.' she thought to herself.  
~~~  
NOWHERE MAN, PLEASE LISTEN, YOU DON'T KNOW  
WHAT YOU'RE MISSING  
NOWHERE MAN, THE WORLD IS AT YOUR COMMAND.  
~~~  
  
Bill sat in his office. He was reviewing Dave Malucci's file yet again. He, reluctantly, found himself angry at the man. Sure he had had problems. Sure he had whole new ones now, but he wasn't even trying. Dave had confided in him a little, but only have long interrogation. Why wouldn't this man just open up! Didn't he see that Bill could help him? He could help him if only Dave would realize he couldn't do it himself and open up.  
~~~  
HE'S AS BLIND AS HE CAN BE  
JUST SEES WHAT HE WANTS TO SEE,  
NOWHERE MAN CAN YOU SEE ME AT ALL?  
  
I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  



	6. Get Back: All You Need Is Love

By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave is still having nightmares, and has decided to only take his pills every other day. He also seems to have social anxiety.   
He started to confide in Jing Mei. He is also wanting to get an apartment and move out of Carter's house.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley who thought up this whole part!  
  
Dave scratched his head and slumped back into his chair. He was finally back to work, and it was a very busy day. He didn't know if he was glad or mad, but he was pretty sure he was happy there was something to do. He was trying to enjoy this short little rest before jumping back into the sea of patients. Kerry had seemed surprisingly lenient, letting him do almost whatever he wanted to do. Dave sighed and sipped again at his coffee. One of these days he'd have to talk to Bill some more, he was more confused now then ever.  
  
~~~  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
~~~  
  
Kerry sat at the admit desk, resting her aching leg and yelling at persistent patients annoyed by the wait. It was these busy times that made her rethink what she really wanted for a job. Something always came up though, something that relit the fire. She turned her eyes to see yet another man coming up to the desk.  
"Hi, I'm here..." he started.  
"You'll have to take a seat in chairs and we'll get to you when we can." Kerry interrupted.  
"No, but I'm not.." The man started again, a little agitated. Randi shoved blank papers at him and recited, "Fill these out and we'll be right with you."  
"But..." The man started once more. Kerry turned hers eyes upward and glared at him, challenging him to say any more. The man took the papers and left.  
  
~~~  
  
A couple hours passed and the ER had slowed remarkably. Abby stood at the admit desk crossing out the name of a man they had just discharged. Kerry was at the computer when a man walked up to her. She vaguely remembered him as one of the many patients that had bothered her earlier. "Can I help you?" She asked, trying to remove all traces of aggravation.  
"I'm looking for my son." The man stated.   
"What's the name?" She asked, turning to the board and preparing to locate the room of his injured son.  
"Malucci, Dave Malucci." The man answered.  
  
Abby, Randi, and Kerry all twisted around and stared at the man. Dave never mentioned either of his parents and this had come as a complete surprise. Kerry snapped out of it first. "Uh, Abby, can you go find Dr. Malucci?" Abby nodded and left admit speechlessly. She remembered when not so long ago her mother had paid her a visit. She had pretended not to know her and now she wondered how Dave would react.   
  
She found him in the lounge getting a cup of coffee, probably his first of the day. "Dave?" She called weakly. Dave turned.  
"What is it Abby?" he asked with a smile.  
"There's someone here for you. Says he's your father." She answered. Dave's eyes slowly turned cold and hard as he digested what she had just told him. His jaw tightened and his fists clenched. He carefully set down his coffee and walked slowly out the door. Abby followed close behind.  
  
~~~  
THERE'S NOTHING YOU CAN DO THAT CAN'T BE DONE.  
NOTHING YOU CAN SING THAT CAN'T BE SUNG.  
NOTHING YOU CAN SAY BUT YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO PLAY THE GAME.  
IT'S EASY.  
~~~  
  
Dave could see him now. His back was facing him, but Dave would know that back anywhere. When Dave was just ten feet away Randi spotted him and Dave's dad followed her eyes. A smile spread across his face.  
"Dave!" He cried  
"What are you doing here?" Dave demanded harshly as he walked closer. Dave's father looked hurt.  
"Dave, I just wanted...."  
"Cut the crap!" Dave interrupted.  
"Dave," his father started more slowly, "I haven't seen you in such a long time, and I heard you were a doctor now so I came.."  
"You came to cash in!" Dave finished for him. His father's wounded look was faltering, but still holding.  
"Dave..."  
"Get out!"  
"Dave. Just..."  
"Out now!" Dave yelled. His fathers face started turning pink, and then a deep red.  
"Dave! Listen to me!" His father demanded.  
"Out!" Dave protested loudly. His father's face was now a Burgundy color. To the surprise and utter astonishment of the spectators a closed fist came out of nowhere and flew towards Dave. Dave knew it was coming though. He blocked the punch and followed with one of his own, right to the gut.  
  
The other man groaned slowly and slid to the floor. Dave stared down at him for just a moment, then turned. "Someone call security." he said as he started for the lounge to return to his coffee.   
  
Kerry, Abby, and Randi stayed still, watching Dave leave. A couple more members of the staff emerged from doors and stood quietly. A groan from the floor, however, awakened Randi and she quickly dialed the number for security.  
  
~~~  
NOTHING YOU CAN KNOW THAT ISN'T KNOWN.  
NOTHING YOU CAN SEE THAT ISN'T SHOWN.  
NOWHERE YOU CAN BE THAT ISN'T WHERE YOU'RE MEANT TO BE.  
IT'S EASY.  
~~~  
Jing Mei had been treating patient when the yelling first started. She had dismissed it as another drunk and continued the work. As it escalated, though, she recognized one of the voices. She had quickly excused herself and left to room to see Dave storm off for the lounge and notice a man curled up on the floor.  
  
She walked up to Kerry, who didn't notice her but kept her eyes fixed on the door Dave had disappeared into.   
"Kerry, what just happened?" Jing Mei asked.  
"Dave just punched his father." Kerry answered simply, still dazed.  
  
Jing mei walked slowly to the lounge. She opened the door to find Dave sitting on the couch drinking coffee as if nothing had happened. She walked up slowly. "Do you mind?" She asked, motioning to the couch.   
"No, of course not." Dave answered, scooting over to make more room. Jing Mei sat quietly and tentatively approached the subject.  
  
"Do you want to talk about it?" she asked.  
"About what?" Dave answered ignorantly  
"your dad." Jing Mei answered cautiously.  
"Step dad." Dave corrected harshly. "My dad died when I was eight."  
"I'm sorry I didn't know." Jing Mei answered quickly.  
"My mom married Ray when I was nine and died when I was 10." He paused for just a second, debating, then decided to continue.  
"Ray was never very nice to begin with, but after my mom died he went ballistic. He started drinking a lot and his temper went through the roof. Sometimes things got really bad. It was when of those times that I did it."  
"Did what?" Jing Mei was almost too afraid to ask.  
"I set the house on fire." Pause. "I didn't get very far when I realized what I'd done. Ray was passed out in the living room and, I had to go back in and get him. He inhaled a little smoke, but was fine. The house was almost beyond repair. Ray testified against me and I was sent to Juvy." Dave paused just long enough to laugh. "It's ironic because I was never really a bad kid until I got in there. You have to learn the tricks of the trade to survive in juvy." Their was silence. Obviously there was stories about Juvy, but it was evident he wasn't ready to share them.  
"How old were you?" She asked Dave.  
"Fourteen. I was sixteen when I got out, but I was way behind in school. I never caught up." He answered solemnly.  
"Does Bill know?" Jing Mei asked prudently./  
"Yeah, I told him because I figured if he hadn't gotten the files already he would soon.  
Jing Mei didn't know what to say. She knew she had to comfort her friend somehow but she couldn't think of a way.  
  
~~~  
NOTHING YOU CAN MAKE THAT CAN'T BE MADE.  
NO ONE YOU CAN SAVE THAT CAN'T BE SAVED.  
NOTHING YOU CAN DO BUT YOU CAN LEARN HOW TO BE YOU IN TIME.  
IT'S EASY.  
~~~  
  
Every thing made perfect sense to her now. She had first heard the news form a concerned Kerry. Then she had extracted the rest from a frantic Jing Mei. Elizabeth remembered suddenly the scars she had seen on Dave when they had found him beat up. She recalled laughing when Carter told her Dave had went to Med School in Grenada. The lack of parents and family support all made sense now.  
  
And she wished it didn't.  
~~~  
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE   
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE   
LOVE, LOVE, LOVE  
  
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.  
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE.  
ALL YOU NEED IS LOVE, LOVE.  
LOVE IS ALL YOU NEED.  
  
I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  
  



	7. Get Back: Yesterday

Get Back: Yesterday  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave's father came to visit him in the ER and things didn't go well.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
Did you see Witch Hunt? (if not don't read next sentence)  
  
They were insinuating that Dave had been abused, that fits right into my story!!  
  
  
  
Elizabeth was reviewing her patient's chart when Shirley told her she had a phone call.  
"Hello?" She asked  
"Dr. Corday? Hi this is Detective James Jones with the Chicago police department."  
"Yes?" Elizabeth asked a little nervously.  
"I was trying to get a hold of Dr. Malucci and realized that I didn't have his new number. I've been leaving messages for him at the hospital, but he hasn't returned my calls. What I wanted to tell him is that we have Mr. Mason in custody and need him to come identify him as soon as possible."  
"OK. I'll be sure to tell him." her first thought of concern erased and a new one etched.  
"Thanks," And the receiver went dead.  
  
Elizabeth took a deep breath and dialed the extension for the ER.  
"Hello Randy, is Dave working today? Ok, tell him when he gets here that I need   
to talk to him." Elizabeth said.  
  
~~~  
GET BACK! GET BACK!  
GET BACK TO WHERE YOU ONCE BELONGED.  
~~~  
  
"Yes I understand that you need it as soon as possible, but I'm working." Dave argued with the policeman on the other end. "Can't you just bring me something to look at? Really? OK thanks." Dave hung up, sighed, rubbed his forehead, and scribbled a note to himself.  
"What was that about?" Jing Mei asked curiously.  
"They're going to bring in a couple of pictures so I can identify Mr. Mason." He answered absently.  
"They found him?" Jing Mei asked, stunned.  
"Yeah, he was hiding out with his mother or something." Dave hung up a chart and looked at the board. "An old woman with a facial laceration. What a day." he said sarcastically and threw Jing Mei a weak smile. Dave was just to walk away when Jing Mei gently grabbed his arm.  
"Have you talked to your father since... the other day?" she asked gently.   
"No." Dave answered simply as he tugged his arm free and walked away.  
  
Jing Mei had reminded Kerry that she had been planning to talk to   
Dave about his father. Kerry had been the one to treat Ray Malucci after their salutations.  
~"I know I wasn't a very good father, but after my wife died I was just so distraught. Dave started to become really cagey and started to hang around a bad crowd, if you know what I mean. I tried to discipline him as I thought best but he just got worse." Ray started to explain to Kerry as she examined the area where Dave had punched him. Kerry nodded her understanding but didn't say anything.   
"Then I just heard from one of Dave's old friends that he was a doctor living in Chicago. It was just a short skip and a jump until I got here." Ray continued, shaking his head and rubbing his hands together. "Now he won't even see me." he said downheartedly.~  
  
~~~  
YESTERDAY ALL MY TROUBLES SEEMED SO FAR AWAY  
NOW IT LOOKS AS THOUGH THEY'RE HERE TO STAY  
OH I BELIEVE IN YESTERDAY  
~~~  
  
A curtly police office carrying a manila envelope approached the admit desk. Mark turned towards him, "Yes?" he asked.  
"I have some pictures to go over with Dr. Malucci." the officer replied. Mark looked around but Dave wasn't in sight.  
"Umm. How about you go wait in the lounge and we'll send Dave in." Mark prompted.  
"Sure thing." the officer nodded and walked to the familiar lounge. When he turned into the doorway Mark continued, "Does anybody know what room Dave is in?"   
Jing Mei practically ran up to Mark. "Yeah, I'll go tell him." she started off before he could respond.  
  
~~~  
  
Jing Mei walked to the room Dave was in and carefully slide through the door. He was just finishing up and she decided to wait. He brought up both hands to secure the bandage on the woman's forehead.   
"My dog keeps getting under my feet!" The old lady grumbled. She was about to go on when she glanced down at Dave's wrist. "Oh my dear boy! Whatever happened to your wrists?" She exclaimed. Dave looked down briefly then back up at the bandage, a mischievous grin on his face.  
"Carpal tunnel." he answered, "A lot of typing in college, you know?" The lady relaxed noticeably and smiled back at him.  
"Oh of course. I had a friend who had that, she was a typist." the lady rambled on.  
  
Jing Mei was surprised but not shocked at Dave's lie. She wasn't really sure what she had expected him to do in that situation; she didn't know what she would do in that situation. As Dave backed away from his patient, giving her some last words of advice, Jing Mei prepared herself for the simple task of telling Dave who was here. Still, when Dave turned to her, his eyes questioning, she felt weak at the knees and her throat closed. She didn't know why this was so hard; it wasn't like he didn't know it was coming.  
  
"Dave, the uh officer is here." Jing Mei finally uttered. Dave's smile stayed the same, and Jing Mei noticed that it hadn't faltered at all recently. However, Dave's eyes still betrayed him. He looked like a puppy being punished. When they are yelled at you don't think they can look any sadder, but all you have to do is hit them.  
  
~~~  
YESTERDAY ALL MY TROUBLES SEEMED SO FAR AWAY  
NOW IT LOOKS AS THOUGH THEY'RE HERE TO STAY  
OH I BELIEVE IN YESTERDAY  
~~~  
  
Dave walked stiffly into the lounge to find the officer waiting for him. The officer turned around and gave Dave a big, fat, 'I Care' but-really-don't smile.  
"Hello Dr. Malucci." He said roundly. Dave nodded his acknowledgment. "Let's get right down to business. I have here some pictures for you to look at." with that he laid five mugshots onto the table. Dave walked cautiously over and peered down at them. Immediately he spotted him, as if the picture had jumped up and became clearer than the others.  
  
Dave simply pointed at it and the officer nodded. "Thank you Dave. We already have him in custody, Mr. Mason was already arraigned but he couldn't meet his bail so he's still in."  
"Then why did I have to pick out his picture?" Dave asked angrily.  
"This whole thing is your word against his, you're going to have to testify against him." The officer answered, slightly annoyed.  
"What if I chose not to?" Dave asked simply.  
"Then Mr. Mason would go free." He answered, moving his arms like flapping wings. "Now if you'll excuse me, I have plenty of other things to do. I already wasted enough time coming down here. You know we called you five times?" the officer asked piercingly.  
"Yes I was aware of that." Dave answered and immediately stormed out of the lounge, headed straight for the bathroom, and promptly threw up.  
  
~~~  
SUDDENLY, I'M NOT HALF THE MAN I USED TO BE  
THERE'S A SHADOW HANGING OVER ME  
OH YESTERDAY CAME SUDDENLY  
~~~  
  
Dave was back in the lounge again; this time ready to go home. He was shutting his locker when Kerry's voice perforated his ear.  
"Dave, getting ready to leave?" she asked.  
"Yeah." Dave answered obviously. He turned around to find Kerry standing, waiting for him. "but I guess not right now." He said as he flopped onto the couch.  
"I wanted to talk to you." She said. When she got no answer she continued, "About your father." Dave's eyes twitched and his arms tensed.   
Through clenched teeth he asked, "What about my step dad?"  
"Well," Kerry started, sitting next to Dave. "I had a chance to talk to him while I was treating him." She glanced quickly at Dave but Dave said nothing. "Now, I know I know nothing about your situation; but to me, an unbiased observer, he seemed like he sincerely wanted to get in contact with you."  
  
"He gave me his phone number to give to you..."  
  
~"Hey doctor? Can you do something for me? If he'll accept it, will you pass along my phone number to him?"~  
  
She handed Dave the small strip of paper. He took it and crumpled it up in his hand, without ever looking at her. "Dave," she tried to reason, "He really did seem sincere, and I see no reason for you not to- go trough with it."  
"Oh you don't do you?" Dave asked mockingly. Kerry's temper raised ever so slightly.  
"Dave, you can't just take him for granted. You know I was adopted don't you? My parents didn't want me. He wants you. Can't you see what you have?" She asked, straining to keep her voice calm.  
  
Dave abruptly stood up and turned his taciturn eyes to her. "You were right about one thing." He said slowly, his eyes boreing into hers. "You don't know anything about my situation."  
  
~~~  
YESTERDAY LOVE WAS SUCH AN EASY GAME TO PLAY  
NOW I NEED A PLACE TO HIDE AWAY  
OH I BELIEVE IN YESTERDAY  
~~~  
  
I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  
  
  



	8. Get Back: Hey Jude

Get Back: Hey Jude  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave's father came to visit him in the ER and things didn't go well.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
pretend that the song is talking to Dave and that She is He (his father)  
  
  
Dave struggled to get his key into the lock. He was drunk and he knew it. He was about to give up his quest when the slender hand pried the key from his hand. He stumbled towards the kitchen table after her. Gripping the chair with one hand to keep his balance he dug his wallet out of his pocket with the other. When he slapped it onto the table a small piece of paper filtered through the air and landed on the table. Dave stared at it for a while, not knowing whether he really wanted to call or not. The Chief's words got to him. They always did, and she didn't even realize it. Dave didn't know why it mattered to him what she thought of   
him, but it did. Then he remembered the reason he had gone drinking in the first place.  
"Come on in!" Sandra called from the bedroom  
"Make yourself comfortable, I have to make a phone call." Dave called.  
"Sure thing, just don't take too long baby." Sandra purred.  
  
He realized he was doing it again. Whenever things were bad at home Dave would go out and find a new girl to be with, and it had started up again. He wanted to break out of this ignominious cycle. He couldn't right now, but maybe this phone call would start him on the right track. Also Bill the psych guy and Kerry were constantly nagging him to get in touch with his step dad. 'Why not?' Dave asked himself, knowing he would probably regret it. He lurched towards the phone and carefully started dialing. It took him five tries to dial the right number.  
  
~  
  
When his hands rested the phone back in its cradle Dave realized his they were shaking. Sandra was saying something from the bedroom. The fact that he was not alone relieved him and compensated for almost everything. He knew that the relief was only transitory but all he could think of was the quick fix. It was like a drug wasn't it? No, this had always worked better for him then any drug, and he would like to think there were no consequences. Man, he was one screwed up person.  
~~~  
HEY JUDE, DON'T MAKE IT BAD.  
  
YOU WERE MADE TO GO OUT AND GET HER.  
  
THE MINUTE YOU LET HER UNDER YOU SKIN,  
  
THEN YOU BEGIN TO MAKE IT BETTER  
~~~  
  
Dave rushed through the door and tried to forget the lunch date he had made with his father. He was kind of surprised that he remembered it in the first place, he still had a pounding hangover. He had woken late that morning with a splitting head ache and he had once again been alone. The only reason he was going to this meeting was that he didn't want his father to come into the ER again. He was hoping that he could tell his father off and that would be it.   
  
He quickly dropped his stuff off in the lounge and hurried towards the board. There was nothing serious, to his dismay. He decided on a teenager with a broken wrist and headed off in that direction. Nobody talked to him or even looked at him, it was eerie and relieving at the same time.  
  
~~~  
HEY JUDE, DON'T MAKE IT BAD.  
  
TAKE A SAD SONG AND MAKE IT BETTER.  
  
REMEMBER TO LET HER INTO YOUR HEART,  
  
THEN YOU CAN START TO MAKE IT BETTER.  
~~~  
  
Kerry had been giving him evil looks all day, still he didn't tell her about meeting his father. He turned in his chart and told Randi he'd be having lunch at Doc Magoo's. He slipped outside and slowly crossed the street. He was five minutes late and when he walked in he spotted his father a couple of tables down. Ray looked up and smiled at him. Tentatively Dave made his way up and sat across from his step dad. He didn't make eye contact and Ray was the first one to speak. "I'm really glad you decided to meet me Dave." he said with another big smile.   
"I was drunk." Dave mumbled.  
"What?" Ray asked. Dave shook his head to dismiss it. Ray decided to continue. "I've changed a lot Dave. I've been going to AA meetings. I've been sober for four months. I also started talking anger management classes. I really have changed Dave." Though he sounded convincing Dave refused to believe him. He wouldn't let Ray fool him, he knew better, and he had to protect himself.  
  
Ray started talking about the new house he bought on the outskirts of Chicago, being careful not to mention the house Dave burned down. Dave looked at his watch every five seconds, willing it to go faster. The door opened and closed somewhere behind him and Kerry and Jing Mei walked in and sat at the bar. Dave quickly turned back and tried to hide his face but Kerry saw him.  
  
Kerry and Jing Mei both ordered small meals and a unpleasant silence lingered. Kerry turned her head to look at Dave and his father. Jing Mei followed her gaze and almost gasped. Kerry turned to Jing Mei and started, "I'm so glad he finally grew up and decided to talk to his dad. I was beginning to think he was still a stubborn teenager." Jing Mei was shocked into silence. Obviously Elizabeth had kept her promise and didn't tell anyone about the abuse. Jing Mei only told Elizabeth because she was so devoted to Dave's care. At first Elizabeth was simply shocked, and then as it sunk in and a morose frown crept across her face. Then Jing Mei was sure she had done the right thing. At least someone else cared for Dave even if he never knew it.  
  
Kerry continued unwittingly. "He should have some respect for the man who took care of him after his parents died."  
  
Jing Mei couldn't stand it anymore, she had to defend her friend, "Well, we don't really know what happened between them." Jing Mei didn't want to reveal Dave's secret to Kerry.  
"Well, his father said he was a bad kid, and I believe it." Kerry responded.  
"That's his side of the story. What about Dave's?" Jing Mei asked.  
"Come on Jing Mei. You know how kids are. As soon as they hit puberty they rebel and think they are being treated unfairly when all their parents are trying to do is take care of them."  
"I still think you should ask Dave." Jing Mei returned quietly.   
  
Kerry started wondering if Jing Mei knew more than she did. Turning she saw Ray beaming from ear to ear. No, she told herself. Ray was the perfect parent.  
  
Dave looked at his watch. "Sorry, but I've got to get back to work soon." He said, itching to move his chair back get out.  
"I understand." Ray said quietly, "Actually I have to leave right about now, I have to get ready for an interview." Ray fumbled around in his pocket and took out two tickets.   
"Dave, I got tickets for tonight's Blackhawks game. I would really appreciate it if you would come see it with me." Ray pleaded. Dave was about to say no when he glanced at Chief's back. If he at least gave it a try then she would get off his back. Dave grabbed the ticket and tucked it in his jacket pocket.  
"Meet me in front of the gate." Ray called as he got up to leave. On his way out he spotted Kerry and walked over to pat her on the back and said something quietly to her.  
  
"You told Dave to meet his father?" Jing Mei asked as Ray walked away.  
"It was the least I could do. I felt so sorry for him. I want to go talk to Dave." Kerry said as she pushed back and walked over to the table where Dave was sitting.  
"Dave I'm so glad you finally grew up and met with your father." She said bluntly, but with a smile. Dave looked at her incredulously 'how could she say such a thing?'.   
  
Dave pushed his chair back with a high screech and stood staring down at her. He started to open his mouth, there were so many things he wanted to get out and just tell her. He took a swallow and tried again, but he couldn't do it. Not now, not after everything that had happened in the last few months. She had started with compassion for him it seemed, now she was back to her contemptible insults. He did the only thing he knew how to do, he left.  
  
As the door slammed shut Dave felt his head reeling. Never did he imagine that he would see his step dad again. Never had he imagined that he would be beat up, and evicted. He felt every sense of security he had being stripped away. He couldn't help but realize that if he had been successful in his suicide attempt he wouldn't have to deal with any of this.  
  
~~~  
AND ANYTIME YOU FEEL THE PAIN, HEY JUDE, REFRAIN,  
  
DON'T CARRY THE WORLD UPON YOUR SHOULDERS.  
  
FOR WELL YOU KNOW THAT IT'S A FOOL WHO PLAYS IT COOL  
  
BY MAKING HIS WORLD A LITTLE COLDER.  
~~~  
  
The ER was packed, but it looked like all the good cases were taken. Dave decided on a girl who had collapsed at a photo shoot. 'This could be good' he thought. As he entered the room he made a quick assessment. The 16 year old girl was sitting on the edge of the bed. She was thin and long legged and definitely looked like a model type.   
"Hello Alejandra, I'm Dr. Dave." Dave said, looking at the chart.  
"You can call me Alej (Ally), everyone else does." she answered with a strong voice.  
"So Alej, you passed out at a photo shoot?" he asked.  
"Yeah, which sucks because that one was worth a lot of money." Alej answered solemnly. Then she quickly added, "Its for college. I'm trying to save up my money for college. I want to be a doctor actually, and with that much school I'm going to need a lot of money."  
Dave nodded in agreement. "So have you ever passed out before?" he asked.  
"No this was the first time. It felt weird and was actually kind of fun." She said with a smile, she didn't catch the confused look on Dave's face.  
"Fun?" He asked, he'd never heard that one before.  
"Well, I mean, one minute you're posing on a beach, the next you're lying on the sand and everyone is hovering over you, and you have no idea how you got there. It was interesting that's all." She ended.  
Dave nodded and continued. "Have you had anything to eat today?" He asked.   
  
Alej looked sheepishly to the floor. "I usually don't eat before shoots." She answered. Dave looked at her sternly, now he understood.  
"OK Alej listen to me. You want to be a doctor and when you are one you'll understand this. Starving yourself screws up your metabolism. Your body automatically stores all your fat to help provide for yourself. Then you can't lose any weight through things like exercising. And in the end, your metabolism gets so screwed up that you end up becoming obese. It's important that you eat enough to support you body." Dave lectured seriously.   
  
Alej looked down again. "You don't understand." She said quietly, "I need the money, it's the only way I'm going to get into college. I just lost a big job because I didn't 'have the right body type'. I'm almost to my goal. As soon as I get there I'm going to stop modeling and then I'll eat whatever I want."  
"Alej listen to me, by then it may be too late. You have to stop this now. You can look better by eating healthy and exercising. Not that you need it." he added, "I think you look fine the way you are and if those modeling people don't see it then its their problem." Alej looked up at him for a second, then looked down again.  
"I need the money." She repeated. Dave sighed.  
"I'm going to send a nutrionist down to talk to you OK?" Dave asked. Alej nodded and Dave left the room. He couldn't handle this, not now. Everything around him seemed to be adding collectively to make the big melting pot that was Dave's horrible life.  
  
~~~  
SO LET IT OUT AND LET IT IN, HEY JUDE, BEGIN,  
  
YOU'RE WAITING FOR SOMEONE TO PERFORM WITH.  
  
AND YOU DON'T KNOW THAT IT'S JUST YOU, HEY JUDE, YOU'LL DO,  
  
THE MOVEMENT YOU NEED IS ON YOUR SHOULDER.  
~~~  
  
Jing Mei ran up to catch Dave as he was walking out the door. "Dave, I was wondering if you wanted to go out to dinner." She said.  
"I'm busy." Dave answered frankly.  
"Maybe tomorrow then?" She asked hopefully.  
"I'm busy." He answered again.  
"Come on Dave, it might help you feel better." Jing Mei coaxed.  
"Nothings going to make me feel any better. I'm on top of the world. " He answered sarcastically as he hurried away, leaving Jing Mei shivering in the cold.  
  
~~~  
  
Dave stared at the ticket in his hand. The cab driver kept silent, letting the meter run. He didn't want to go into the stadium. Even if his father had changed, Dave wasn't sure he could handle. Plus, if his dad had changed, he would understand why Dave wasn't ready to spend that much time with him. Dave directed the driver to take him home. When he got there he would leave his dad a message. Maybe they could have lunch again.  
  
~~~  
AND ANYTIME YOU FEEL THE PAIN, HEY JUDE, REFRAIN,  
  
DON'T CARRY THE WORLD UPON YOUR SHOULDERS.  
  
FOR WELL YOU KNOW THAT IT'S A FOOL WHO PLAYS IT COOL  
  
BY MAKING HIS WORLD A LITTLE COLDER.  
~~~  
I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  
  



	9. Get Back: I'm Looking Through You

Get Back: I'm Looking Through You  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave's father came to visit him in the ER and things didn't go well. Dave agreed to meet his father for lunch but bailed on a hockey game.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
There is a little swearing, but not much.  
  
~~ The night was cold and dew covered him. He shivered as he huddled between the bushes and the side of the house. Dave, at ten years old, usually climbed in through his window when he got home, to avoid Ray, but tonight Ray had decided to lock the window, and Dave was outside. He couldn't feel his legs or arms very well and started to worry about frost bite. His class was learning about the Oregon Trail and how a lot of children got frost bite from walking in the cold weather. Dave shivered again and hugged himself tighter.....  
  
~~~  
  
Dave awoke, startled, to find himself in his room curled on the floor, with no recollection of how he got there. His first thought was, 'Am I late for school'? Sweat and not dew covered his entire body, he realized. It had been a long time since he thought about that night, he had almost forgotten about it. Maybe the booze and sleeping pills had jogged his memory.  
  
Dave checked his answering machine and sure enough there was a message from his father. The message said that he understood and that lunch would be great. Dave quickly deleted the message and started to get ready for work. He had turned down the volume of the phone to try and get some sleep, and left the answering machine to deal with Ray. He ended up taking one of his sleeping pills, even though he knew it was a weak thing to do. He also felt weak for not going to the hockey game. What was he afraid of? Even if his dad hadn't changed, certainly he couldn't hurt Dave anymore. He was a grown man now, and he was strong. Wasn't he?  
~~~  
I'M LOOKING THROUGH YOU,  
WHERE DID YOU GO?  
I THOUGHT I KNEW YOU,  
WHAT DID I KNOW?  
YOU DON'T LOOK DIFF'RENT,  
BUT YOU HAVE CHANGED  
I'M LOOKING THOUGH YOU,  
YOU'RE NOT THE SAME  
~~~  
  
"I think his dad is just drawing him farther away." Jing Mei told Carter. She was twisting her hands together and looking from side to side to make sure no one was over hearing them.  
"Well, what are we supposed to do? Tell him to stop seeing his father? I thought we were trying to get them together." Carter responded, a little confused. He smiled inwardly at Jing Mei's nervousness.  
"No, only Kerry was trying to get them together. I really don't think he's ready for this yet. " Jing Mei said worrying now that if Kerry got whif of this she would get yelled at, and wondering whether she should tell Carter about Dave's past.  
"Relax Jing Mei. I think you are over exaggerating. He said no to one dinner date, so what? Maybe he just didn't feel up to it." Carter tried to reason.  
"With all that has happened lately, I would really appreciate it if you talked to him." Jing Mei pleaded. The image of Dave on the bathroom floor jumped at Carter, like the one of Lucy often did.  
"I really think you are closer to Dave than I am." Carter stated. Trying to protect himself more than anyone.  
"Carter, are you saying you won't talk to him?" Jing Mei asked, eyes glaring.   
"Fine.. Fine... I talk to him." Carter said, throwing his arms up in mock defeat. "Lot of good it will do." He muttered to himself as he walked away.  
  
~~~  
  
Dave walked into the lounge, his hair was a mess and he hadn't had time to shave. He was thinking about the lunch approaching quickly. It would be at Doc Magoo's again. Dave was happy to use his work as an excuse to keep these meetings short and near the hospital.  
  
Carter entered the room and smiled at Dave. "So Dave, how are you?" Carter asked.  
"Fine." Dave answered suspiciously. Carter was here for a reason.   
"Looks like you had a really rough night, Malucci?" Carter asked.   
"Yeah." Dave answered.   
"You've been having a lot of those lately, haven't you?" Carter observed.   
"I guess." Dave didn't like where this was going.  
"Any particular reason why?" Carter asked concerned. He was beginning to think that perhaps Jing Mei was right.  
"I'm the irresponsible wild one remember? I like to party. What's this about Carter? Why the third degree?" Dave responded.  
"Are you going to see your dad again?" Carter inquired.  
"Yeah." Dave answered simply. Carter nodded.  
"Ok, here it is. Jing Mei is worried about you." Carter Blurted out. Dave paused for a split second then answered.  
"Why?" Dave asked.  
"She feels that you are withdrawing again." Carter continued on tip toe.  
"Why would she think that?" Dave asked, his voice light and curious. Carter just shrugged. "Well then. Tell her I'm fine. I'm peachy keen." He added, with a smile.  
  
Carter watched as Dave left the lounge. Not much later Jing Mei entered, her eyes prying."So what did he say?" She asked. Carter shrugged up his shoulders.  
"Said he was fine, peachy keen." Carter watched Jing Mei's eyes turn slightly sour. "Hey! I told you it wasn't going to work. I'm not that close to him."  
  
~~~  
  
YOU'RE THINKING OF ME  
THE SAME OLD WAY.  
YOU WERE ABOVE ME  
BUT NOT TODAY.  
THE ONLY DIFF'RENCE IS YOU'RE DOWN THERE;  
I'M LOOKING THROUGH YOU  
AND YOU'RE NOWHERE.  
~~~  
  
'Now I get a sinile old woman' Dave thought as he considered the irony. The lady was living with her daughter and had fallen down. It seemed like a broken wrist at worst. Dave entered the room holding the chart in hand. A 50'ish woman clung to the patients hand and was talking to her softly.  
"Hello Mrs. Lowery. I'm doctor Dave. What seems to be the problem?" Dave asked.  
"I left my mother upstairs for one minute to cook her some breakfast. She got up and tried to come down. On the third to last step she fell. I think she hurt her wrist." The woman's daughter explained. "She has alzheimers and thinks she has to get the kids off to school every morning."  
  
When the old woman looked up at Dave a smile creased her face. "George!" She cried, " I haven't seen you in such a long time. How is college going? Keep your grades up and you'll get a good job." the woman lectured. Dave looked at the daughter questionly.  
"Oh, no. She thinks you are my oldest brother." The daughter started. "He died in Vietnam."  
"Let me take a look at your wrist." Dave said as he gingerly picked up the woman's arm. She cringed slightly but kept her smile.  
"Oh I'm so proud of you. The first to go to college. Though sometimes I wish you had stayed home to help me with the kids."  
"Ok, Mrs. Lowery. You are going to need an x-ray of your wrist." Dave was begining to feel uncomfortable around this lady.  
"You know little Johnny is reaching 13 now. What a mouth that kid has..." Mrs. Lowery continued.  
"Ok, I'm going to go, but I'll come back when we get the x-ray." Dave said as he stripped off his gloves and headed out of the room.  
"Don't forget to eat lots of vegetables!" Mrs. Lowery called after Dave as the door shut behind him.   
He leaned against the wall and took a deep breath.  
  
~~~  
WHY, TELL ME WHY DID YOU NOT TREAT ME RIGHT?  
LOVE HAS A NASTY HABIT OF DISAPPEARING OVER NIGHT.  
~~~  
  
"Dave, I've got your x-ray back for Mrs. Lowery." Randi called as Dave walked by the admit desk.   
"Thanks." Dave muttered as he picked it up to examine it. He carried it to Mrs. Lowery's room.  
"Good news." He called as he entered the room. "It was only a sprain."   
Relief spread noticibly across the daughters face. "All I have to do is wrap it and you guys can go home." Dave added as he pulled up next to the bed.   
  
He picked up Mrs. Lowery's wrist and began wrapping it.  
"I love all my children." Mrs. Lowery announced, "But I must admit, you were always one of my favorites." She beamed from ear to ear. "You were such a good little boy. Always doing what I told you to. And you were such a good baseball player. I was so proud of you. And you grades! The best I've ever seen."  
  
Dave began to wrap faster and faster. The sooner he was done the sooner he could leave.  
"I used to point you out to all the other parents at the games and tell them, 'That's my son'!"  
As Dave finished he gently, but swiftly, helped Mrs. Lowery's arm into a sling.  
"She should be fine." He directed to the daughter. "Just make sure she takes it easy." He stood up and turned to leave.  
"I love you soooo much!" Mrs. Lowery yelled as Dave left the room.  
He waited for the door to close before shouting, "I'm not your son!"  
Kerry chose this moment to walk by.  
  
~~~  
WHY, TELL ME WHY DID YOU NOT TREAT ME RIGHT?  
LOVE HAS A NASTY HABIT OF DISAPPEARING OVER NIGHT.  
~~~  
  
Dave was now more distressed then ever. What was worse, was that is was now time to meet Ray at Doc Magoo's. Dave pulled his jacket tighter in a frivolous attempt to keep the cold out. He quickly crossed the street and entered the restuarant. Ray was sitting in the table they had sat at last time, smiling. "Hello Dave. How are you doing?" Ray asked.  
"Fine." Dave said as he slid into his seat.   
  
The waitress came up and took their order.  
"I'm so happy we are finally coming together Dave. It has been such a long time." Ray announced proudly. Dave simply nodded, there wasn't anything he could say. "So Dave, what have you been doing?" Ray asked.  
"Went to college. Went to med school. Got a job here." Dave answered, gesturing in the general direction of the hospital.  
"So you're finally a doctor."Ray said incredulously. "You were always interested in medical stuff."  
  
~~~ Dave sat in a chair in the cafeteria. Ray had sent him away so he and the doctors could be alone. Dave soon grew bored and started to wander around the hospital. Everywhere he went, there were doctors and patients. Every nurse he passed gave him a sympathatic smile and asked if he was lost. He peeked into a couple of rooms where the doctors were talking or looking at their patients. He found himself back on his mom's floor and made the interminable journey to her room. He was able to peek in through the crack in door. his mother lie on her bed, tubing coming out of her and hooking to machines. There were quiet sursations of Ray talking to the doctors. Dave felt compelled to walk up to his mother and figure out what was going on, and see what he could do to help; but Ray had told him to stay out, and Dave wasn't about to go in...~~~  
  
"Yeah, well...." Dave muttered. He reached towards his coffee, which had just arrived, but his arm was shaking and his knocked over his coffee cup; spilling its hot contents over his scrub pants. Dave jumped slightly as the heat seared through his pants and onto his skin, then slowly relaxed as he heat lowered and he became more used to it.   
  
Ray simply smiled, "You were always a little clumsy."  
  
~~~ "You clumsy good for nothing son of a b*tch! What do you think you are doing?!? Get outta my way!"~~~  
  
Dave started to shake slightly and he could almost feel a hand print of pain across his face. He bit his lip and tried to remain calm. Suddenly images began to flash at him like sudden bursts of light, most of them coming and going so fast he could only feel the emotions. Suddenly he stood up right and pushed out of his chair. "I gotta go." Dave slurred as he threw a five on the table and raced out the door.  
  
Ray was a surprised and only after Dave was already gone did he notice what had happened. He leaned over slightly and gingerly picked up Dave's stethoscope.  
  
~~~  
YOUR LIPS ARE MOVING,  
I CANNOT HEAR.  
YOUR VOICE IS SOOTHING  
BUT THE WORDS AREN'T CLEAR.  
YOU DON'T SOUND DIFF'RENT,  
I'VE LEARNT THE GAME;  
I'M LOOKING THROUGH YOU,  
YOU'RE NOT THE SAME.  
  
~~~  
  
Dave came in so fast that Kerry almost missed him. "Dave!" She called out at him. Dave slowed and backed up a little to stand in front of her. Kerry lowered her voice and looked at him compassionately. "Dave, the District Attorney is here." Dave nodded imperviously.   
"In the lounge?" Dave asked. Kerry nodded, and Dave turned in that direction.  
  
Dave took a deep breath before opening the door. A corpulent man stood in front of the coffee machine, apparently haveing trouble figuring it out. As Dave stepped in, the D.A. abandoned his enterprise with the coffee machine and walked towards Dave. "Hello Dr. Malucci, my name is John Sampson." He said with his hand outstreched. Dave took it and shook it loosely. "I'm an Assistant District Attorney with Cook County. I'm going to be the DA prosecuting your case so I need to touch base with you." John smiled widely.  
"Uhh, yeah. Nice to meet you I guess." Dave said.   
"How have you been since the attack?" John questioned.  
"Okay." Dave lied.  
"Well, just so you know, you are our case; so it is really important that you do well on the stand. So, if you have any reservations we need to discuss them before you take the stand..." John paused.  
"Of course I have reservations!" Dave answered quickly. "It wasn't the most wonderful experience of my life and I would rather not have to relive it for a bunch of strangers." Dave said harshly.   
"Of course. Listen Dr. Malucci, I know it is unpleasant but it is necessary. Unfortunately it is going to come down to your word against his. His attorney is going to make you look like a smart mouth punk, who is wrong about who attacked you. And trust me, his lawyer is excellent." John raised his eyebrows for emphasis.  
"What does one thing have to do with the other?" Dave asked  
"Well it's an insurance policy Dr. Malucci." Sampson began, "See if he makes you out to be a wild loud mouth punk who lies, then the jury won't believe a word you say or perhaps they will think that you got what was coming to you. In case that doesn't work, he'll bring up that you were in a state of panic and terror, not to mention that you were unconscious for most of the attack, so how could you be so sure about who did it."  
"Wonderful, it sounds like I'm on trial!" Dave sighed.  
"In a lot of ways you are." Sampson said, "I need to know if you have ever been in any kind of trouble? Or if there is anything in your past that the defense could use to discredit your testimony? You know arrests, detentions, psyche, issues, suicide attempts, depression, drug use, alcohol use, fights, trouble controlling your temper, anything?" '  
  
All of the above.' Dave thought. "No." he said out loud  
"Nothing even as a juvenile?"  
"No." Dave lied again.   
"I'm going to have you fill out a biography for me so that I can form questions for court about your background. I'll probably use the info in my opening and closing statements too. You know basics where you went to school, why you wanted to be a doctor, your family, where you grew up, stuff like that." Sampson said handing Dave the biography to fill out. "You can take your time with that, the more detail the better. Next week we have the pre-trial hearing. The case is going to be bound over for Superior court. The trial should happen within two months after that. The judges will try to push it threw as fast as possible because he is in custody."   
"So now it's my fault he can't make bail?" Dave asked snidely.   
"Dr. Malucci, we're on the same side here okay?"   
"Yeah, I know." Dave sighed.   
"Listen you can't come across as combative or confrontational on the stand. You have to elicit sympathy from the jury and having an attitude won't accomplish that. When Mr. Mason's defense attorney questions you, you have to be controlled, measured, confident, but soft spoken." Sampson cautioned. "You loose you're temper on the stand and it's over."   
"I'll be fine. Just do you're job and get him convicted." Dave said.   
  
~ Ray walked through the doors of the hospital and walked towards Kerry, who was standing by the admit desk. "Hello Kerry." He said. Kerry turned around and smiled, "What is it Ray?" she asked. Ray held up the stethoscope.  
"Dave left it behind." he answered.  
"Dave is in the lounge right now, talking to someone. You can wait outside for him." Kerry responded curtiously. She turned hurridly back to her paperwork, she was too busy to deal with this.~  
  
"Are you sure that there's nothing in your past that could cause us any problems?" Sampson asked again. Dave paused a bit too long. "Dr. Malucci?"   
"I'm sure Mr. Sampson."   
"Okay." John answered suspiciously. " Here this is a list of questions that I am going to ask you on the stand. I'm going to go in chronological order, starting with Mr. Mason and his wife coming into the ER. So it would be helpful for you to review her chart and commit it to memory. I have a copy, but I want you to sound confident and untouchable. Then I will move onto you having him seen by psyche. Then I'll walk you through the attack step by step, it will be unpleasant but we have to. I want you to say how you were caught off guard and was rendered incapacitated, which was why you didn't fight back. The jury is going to look at you, you're young and in good shape so the jury will want to know why you didn't defend yourself. I read the police report and the detectives report, so I know what happened. I'm only going to ask you this once, are you sure that Mr. Mason was the man that attacked you? Is there any way you could be mistaken?"   
"I'm positive, he is the man that almost killed me." Dave said confidentially.   
  
~As Ray approached the lounge door he could hear voices from inside. He leaned in closer and strained his ears to listen. He was able to catch phrases and an occiasional sentence.~  
  
"Okay, it's important that you sound sure but not angry." Sampson coninued.  
"Okay."   
"Then I'll get in your recovery. So you know the defense will object, saying that it is prejudicial. But don't worry, after we get a conviction, you can do a victim impact statement. When the defense objects do not get angry."   
"I'll be on my best behavior Mr. Sampson." Dave said with a slight smile.   
"Okay. Basically I want you to go over the events of the attack in your head. Here's a copy of the police and detective reports along with a list of my questions. So that you know, I also plan on calling your colleagues to testify about your injuries."   
"Do you have to?" Dave asked visibly shaken by the prospect of his co-workers testifying in open court.   
"Yes. They will testify after you. Oh so you know, you can't be in the courtroom until after you testify, but you're testifying right after the lead detective and responding officers so you won't have too wait long. If there is anything you think that I should add or delete call me anytime. My number is on the top of the questions list." as he handed Dave the papers he pointed his number out to him. "Okay Dr. Malucci if you have no questions or anything, I'll be going but I'll be in touch. Also, in court wear a suit and tie, comb your hair and shave. Appearance is very very important. Mr. Mason is going to look like a choir boy, so you need to better." Sampson got up to leave and paused at the door, "It was nice to meet you Dr. Malucci."   
"It was nice to meet you too Mr. Sampson. I won't let you down." Dave said shaking his hand again.   
"We'll get him Dr. Malucci. Again if there is anything you think I left out, or should, or if there is anything you think that I should know you just call me." Sampson said, leaving.  
  
Ray stepped out of the way as the door opened in front of him. He threw the heavy man a smile, "You were talking to my son?" Ray asked softly. Sampson waited to allow the door to close and then answered.  
"Yes. I'm the D.A. I really have to be going, but here, take my card. If you have any concerns about him just call me." With that Sampson briskly made his way down the hall. Ray entered the room when as soon as the doorway was clear. He quickly spotted Dave's back and he faced the far corner of the room. "Have you gotten yourself in trouble again Dave?" Ray asked recklessly. Dave turned suddenly.   
"What do you know RAY? I haven't seen you in 14 years and suddenly you come here and try to jump into my life. I don't want you here!" Dave yelled contemptuousally. Ray was shocked, but was able to make a quick recrimination.  
"What are you blaming me of? You were the bad one remember?" The room bubbled with the tacit enmity between them.  
  
~Kerry and Benton walked down the hall, talking over a possibly surgical case. Suddenly, their conversation was interrupted by shouts sifting through the lounge door. Ray stormed out of the lounge, noticing Kerry he gave a breif nod and continued his way down the hall.  
  
Kerry and Benton stood, completely astonished. "Maybe we should.." Kerry started. Benton nodded and made his way into the lounge. Dave was still standing facing the door, waiting for Ray to reenter.   
"Hey man, what just happened?" Benton asked cautiously.  
"Nothing." Dave muttered quietly as he brushed past him out the door.  
  
~~~  
WHY, TELL ME WHY DID YOU NOT TREAT ME RIGHT?  
LOVE HAS A NASTY HABIT OF DISAPPEARING OVER NIGHT.  
~~~  
  
Dave sat, laboring over a pile of charts. He had used it as an excuse not to see patients, and Kerry had accepted it. Carter came up to him slowly. "Hey Dave," he greeted. "Me and Luka were going to head down to the cafeteria for a quick lunch. Want to come?" He asked. Dave couldn't see why not, and thought this might ease Jing Mei's concern. He tucked his charts away and followed Carter and Luka down the hall.  
  
Luka was telling a humorous story about his patient as they arrived at the Cafeteria. Dave stepped in after Carter and promptly noticed Ray sitting at a far away table. Kerry was sitting across from him and they seemed to be engrossed in conversation. Dave started to advance towards them. "The son of a b*tch." He muttered. Carter saw the glare in Dave's eyes and traced it to the table. He reached out and grabbed his arm to hold him back. "Whoa, Dave. Where are you going?" Carter asked.   
"He's lying." Dave whispered.  
"What do you mean?" Luka asked, now also holding him back.  
"He's lying to her I know it. All he does is lie. He's turning her against me."  
"Dave calm down." Carter urged.  
"If you are trying to keep Kerry on your side, then making a scene won't help. Come on, let's get out of here." Luka said, as he and Carter started to drag Dave out.   
  
As they made their way down the hall Dave lost it. "I can't believe he's doing this! Why won't he leave me alone!" Dave yelled at the ceiling, to anyone listening.   
"OK Dave, talk to me." Carter pleaded, not knowing what else to do.  
"I wish the son of a b*tch was dead! I wish I had killed him in the fire!" Dave began to pound his fists into the wall. Luka scanned the halls, no one was coming, for the time being.  
"Come on Dave, don't say that." Luka began to speak softly. "Let's get you out of here." He said as he started to lead Dave down the hall.  
  
They managed to keep Dave silent as they made their way back to the ER and into an empty room. Then they lead Dave to the vacant strecher. "Dave, is there anything you want to tell us?" Luka asked, as he took a seat on the stool across from Dave.  
"He's lying to her, telling her all these things that I haven't really done, and she believes him." Dave answered, regaining his voice.  
"What is he telling her?" Luka coaxed.  
"What a bad kid I was, and how good a father he was. He's turning her against me. She takes his word over mine." Dave was angry now, and wanted to blow off some steam, but he still didn't want to open up to them. "I wish he was dead." he muttered again.  
"Dave, you aren't making any sense." Luka said, exasperated, he didn't know whether to believe him or not.  
  
Benton entered the room and managed to get out, "Is this room empty..." before falling silent. Dave still looked angry, Luka was sitting across from him with his hands clasped, and Carter seemed to be hiding out in the corner. "Something going on?" Benton asked. Luka turned, and looked like he was about to speak but kept silent. Dave offered nothing and neither did Carter. They stood awkwardly for a minute, then Benton muttered "I'll find another room" and left.   
  
  
~~~  
YOUR LIPS ARE MOVING,  
I CANNOT HEAR.  
YOUR VOICE IS SOOTHING  
BUT THE WORDS AREN'T CLEAR.  
YOU DON'T SOUND DIFF'RENT,  
I'VE LEARNT THE GAME;  
I'M LOOKING THROUGH YOU,  
YOU'RE NOT THE SAME.  
  
Ray left the hospital a satisfied man. As the the distance grew between him and the hospital, he pulled out a small, but very full, flask and proceded to empty it.  
~~~  
WHY, TELL ME WHY DID YOU NOT TREAT ME RIGHT?  
LOVE HAS A NASTY HABIT OF DISAPPEARING OVER NIGHT.  
  
  
  



	10. Get Back: Portrait of An Apology

Get Back: Portrait of An Apology  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Note:The first part of the Title is the name of a Beatles song. The second part is from Jars of Clay, I liked it so I decided to use it. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously: Jing Mei is worried about Dave, Dave continues to meet his father, he also met with the DA about his case against Mr. Mason.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
Luka and Carter stayed in the exam room after Dave stormed out. They sat in silence, trying to make sense of what just happened.  
"What do you think?" Carter asked Luka after a while.  
"I don't know." Luka responded, "I do not understand him."   
Carter nodded his agreement. "What should we do?" he asked. Luka sighed and met his eyes. "I don't know if it is our place to do anything."  
"I know someone who might be able to calm him down. Why don't you go tell Kerry what happened." Carter suggested. Carter wandered off to find Jing Mei.  
  
~~~  
Can you stay for a while  
Try to imagine this  
Could you be for a while  
I can't remember it  
Could you fall for a while  
'Cause I can't escape from this  
~~~  
  
"Hey Jing Mei." Carter said, gently pulling her aside.  
"What is it Carter?" She asked a little impatiently. She had a lot to do before she got off in an hour.  
"It's about Dave, I thought you might like to know." he continued.  
"Why? What happened?" She asked, suddenly forgetting everything else.  
"I don't really know. Me and Luka tried to be nice and take him to the cafeteria. When we got there he saw his dad with Kerry and freaked out. We had to take him back here to calm him down. He was so bad for a while that I thought we might have to sedate him. All he would say was that Ray was lying to Kerry and that he wanted to kill him."  
Jing Mei tried to digest this information. She was begining to wonder herself if Dave was just a little paranoid. To tell the truth she was getting more than a little annoyed. Though Dave had opened up to her before, he only told her a few of the facts. She was beginning to feel like she was being used. Dave only talked to her when he wanted to, and would only tell her small amounts of information and then shut down.  
"Thanks Carter." She muttered as she walked away.  
  
~~~  
Can you stay for a while  
Try to imagine this  
Could you be for a while  
I can't remember it  
Could you fall for a while  
'Cause I can't escape from this  
~~~  
  
  
The knocking came quick and persistant on his door. Dave groaned loudly as he sluggishly rolled off the couch. The sleeping pills had taken their effect on him, and the 5 beers he swallowed them down with hadn't worn off yet. The TV was still on, but his show had long been over. He stumbled towards the door, trying to focus his blurry eyes. He looked through the peephole and barely made out Jing Mei. He unlocked the door slowly. Jing Mei burst through the door and into his apartment.  
"Dave, I want to know right now what is going on!" She demanded. He was a mess, and obviously under the influence of something. She was beginning to worry about him more than ever. She could see a bunch of empty beer cans and such like littering the floor. His apartment looked like it hadn't been cleaned in ages.  
Dave still hadn't quite waken, or sobered, up; he couldn't think and he wasn't even sure if this was real.  
"What do you want to know?" He asked, needing clarification.  
"Dave, I'm trying to help you! Right now I don't understand what is happening, and the harder I try to help, the worst off I become." She was on a roll and not about to stop. She saw Dave and began to feel compasionate, but pushed it aside again. "I want to help you, but if you keep pushing me away I'm not going to sacrifice myself for a lost cause! So what I want to know, right now, is what's happening between you and your father. If you won't tell me, I'm going to ask him myself!" She took a deep breath and tried to slow her breathing. She felt a weight lift off her shoulders.  
  
Dave continued to stare at her. He was startled at what she just said. He had no idea she felt that way, and he certainly didn't want her to talk to Ray. He still couldn't think right, and dropped himself on a stool by the bar of his kitchen.  
  
"I didn't know you felt that way." He muttered.  
"Well, I do." Jing Mei answered, biting her tongue to hold back other comments she had in mind. She wanted to tell him how much he meant to her, but she knew it wasn't the time for either of them. She waited to give Dave a chance to talk.  
"I don't know what to tell you, about me a Ray I mean. I've already told you more than I've ever told anyone else before. So many things have happened, and not a single one of them was good. It isn't easy for me to talk about it." Dave started, struggling to articulate his thoughts.  
  
"Life isn't easy, Dave." Jing Mei countered, as if he didn't know. "Why do you think Ray is lying to Kerry?" She asked  
"He lies to everyone. He tells them anything that will make him feel better about himself. He wants to make everyone like him and feel sorry for him."  
"Obviously he is a creep. Get rid of him, Dave! Don't let him back into your life! Kerry will forget about him, in time. You've worked so hard to become a doctor, don't throw it away, especially on someone who will never love you. He's poison Dave!" Jing Mei suggested futively, Dave was already shaking his head.  
"He's my father, and he is all I have left." Dave answered gently.  
"Step father, Dave." Jing Mei corrected.   
"Everyone else has left me Jing Mei. You don't seem to understand! Parents don't leave their children, but mine left me. Everyone leaves." Dave painfully explained. He wanted to add his fears of her leaving, but didn't dare voice them.  
  
The silence hit Jing Mei as hard as any blow could have.The statement was so ludicrise and so absurdly simple, yet a certain childlike understanding clung to it. She wasn't able to think, let alone respond.  
"I've tried so hard to forget my past." Dave started again, "I wanted, and thought, I had put it behind me. But as long as he is around it keeps resurfacing. As much as I want him out of my life, the thought of having no one scares me more. Maybe he's right, maye everything was my fault."  
"Talk to me Dave, please!" Jing Mei pleaded.  
"I wish I could Jing, you don't know how much I wish I could. There is so much I want to say, but I can't. I'm sorry." Dave said with tears welling up in his eyes.  
  
"I know that Dave. But I don't know what I am supposed to do! I've never been in this situation before, and I don't know if I can handle it. What am I supposed to do?" Jing Mei asked tiredly.  
"Just promise me," Dave answered, turning his big brown eyes to look up at her. "Promise me you won't go talk to Ray." Jing Mei stared down at him, and all at once she saw all the pain, and torture, and suffering that encompased him. She nodded. She wanted to look into those eyes all night. She wanted to hold and comfort him; tell him she would never leave. Instead she nodded.  
"Ok Dave. I won't go talk to Ray, but I've really got to leave." With that she flung herself across the room and out the door.  
  
~~~  
Look what I've done  
This picture I've painted  
It looks like my heart  
Or what still remains  
Convinced of the weight  
Your interpretations  
Are not what I see  
I wish they could be  
  
  
'Cause I remember it much redder  
And I remember it much brighter  
~~~  
  
Jing Mei jumped into the driver seat of her car and sped away. Quickly putting as much distance between her and the main source of pain in her life. She felt the adrenaline rush as the car went faster and faster. She wanted to dump all her problems on someone else, just as Dave had dumped all his upon her. She abruptly changed course and headed towards Elizabeth's house. Elizabeth cared enough about Dave to listen to Jing Mei explain her situation.   
  
As Jing Mei parked on the side of the street she dashed up towards the house. She rang the doorbell once and waited. A minute later there was still no answer so she rang it again. Soon a robed Elizabeth opened the door. "My G_d Jing Mei! What on earth are you doing here so late? Elizabeth yawned.  
"I'm sorry, did I wake you?" Jine Mei asked.  
"No, that's ok. Come on in, Mark is away tonight." Elizabeth said, turning around to leave the doorway.  
  
Jing Mei entered and followed Elizabeth to the couch. "You have such a nice house." Jing Mei commented politely.  
"You didn't come here to admire my house." Elizabeth smiled, "Tell me what's wrong."  
"It's Dave, I just don't know what to do with him." Jing Mei blurted out. Elizabeth considered this silently, then looked back waiting to receive more information.  
"He keeps blowing up about Ray, but he won't explain anything." Jing Mei felt the tears welling up in her eyes begin to over flow. "I don't know what to do! Part of me wants to run away and protect myself, but whenever he looks at me with that look in his eyes..." Jing Mei choked back a sob, "Or whenever he says something so sad, and so truthfully.." She wasn't able to finish her sentence, but Elizabeth understood. Elizabeth scooted closer and wrapped her arms about Jing Mei. With that simple motion Jing Mei broke down. Her tears kept flooding down, drenching her shirt and Elizabeth's.   
  
~~~  
Try to explain  
The way that the frame  
Doesn't quite fit the image  
Or surround the edge  
It stands on display  
What do you see  
Behold all the new grey  
What's become of the old me  
  
'Cause I remember it much redder  
And I remember it much brighter  
~~~  
  
Dave walked into the ER for what seemed like the millionth time that week, he felt so old and tired. As he walked towards the desk, Randi caught his attention. "Dave." Randi called, motioning for him to come closer. When he was close enough to satisfy her, Randi began to talk softly. "Ray is in the lounge waiting for you." She started, then checked over her shoulders. "He's really drunk." she warned.  
  
Dave turned without acknowledging her. Something about Ray coming in the ER drunk, enraged him. Of course it wasn't a surprise, he had expected it. Somewhere deep in his subconcious he had expected it. It reminded Dave of his childhood, Ray would show up where ever Dave was and humilate him in front of his friends. If he showed up drunk it was a pretty good hint; Dave was in for a beating. He allowed his hands clench into a fist and his blood run cold. This had gone too far, and he was finally going to do what Jing Mei had suggested. He no longer cared what would happen, or what the consequences would be, he just wanted to end it.  
  
He burst through the door to see Ray already advancing on him. "Well, the son-of-a-b*tch finally decided to show up." His words were slurred but Dave could still understand him. As Ray got closer, Dave waited for the last minute to slide to the side, causing Ray to slam into the door. "Your mother died 20 years ago today." Ray pointed out.  
G-d, this is been the first year Dave had forgotten the anniversary of his mother's death.  
  
As Ray started after him again, Dave found he had nudged himself into a corner. "You killed your mother you know." Ray spat venomously. "You killed her you son-of-a-bitch." The first blow came fast, faster than Dave would have expected, given Ray's condition, and landed neatly on his jaw. Pain shot up the whole side of Dave's face. The pain was so intense he barely felt the next hit which landed on his eye. "What are you some kind of a sissy?" Ray taunted, when he realized Dave wouldn't defend himself. "That stuff in Juvy must have really turned you queer."  
  
Dave didn't want to fight Ray, but when he mentioned juvy hall something inside Dave snapped and he lost control. Suddenly he lurched forward, pushing Ray backwards. Somehow Ray had stayed on his feet, but was stunned enough to willingly accept the punch Dave threw at his stomach. Ray doubled over and fell to his knees, shocked by his stepson's strength. Ray looked up to see Dave's enraged face, as Dave prepared for another blow. Rat could see the crazed look in Dave's eyes, and was amused for a moment that Dave was turning into a younger versoin of himself.  
"Dave!" Kerry's voice cut loud and crisp through the haze that had overtaken Dave's mind. Dave turned to see Kerry and Carter standing in the doorway. "What do you think you are doing Dave?" Kerry demanded.  
"Dave, let him go. You don't want to do this." Carter urged.  
"I was defending myself." Dave said weakly, realizing how it must looked.  
"You just hit your father! And in my ER too!" Kerry fixed her eyes keenly on Dave, and Dave stared back fiercely. "I think you should go Dave. And don't come back for a while either." Kerry commanded while trying to make her way towards Ray.  
"He punched me. He's crazy, you saw how he attacked me." Ray slurred. Dave pushed himself past Carter and out the door.  
  
  
~~~  
Can you stay for a while  
Calling, crying, ashamed of what I am not  
Really failing, falling into this cage and I can't escape  
No, I can't escape  
No, I can't  
~~~  
  
  
Dave went straight to the bathroom. He had dropped his coat in the lounge and there was no way he could make it home without it. He paced back and forth around the bathroom, trying to stall before going back to the lounge to retrieve his coat. He nearly jumped out of his skin when the door opened behind him. Benton walked in and appeared very stunned to see Dave. The hit to Dave's eye had made a small cut and blood was now running down the side of his face.  
"What happened?" Benton asked.  
"Nothing." Dave muttered, prepared now to leave without his coat.  
"Dave, let me take a look at that." Benton commanded.  
"I'm leaving." Dave answered.  
"Dave, I'll just take you to an exam room, make sure there is no optic nerve damage, stitch you up, and you will be on your way. Despite Dave'e bravado the threat of nerve damage scared him, so he reluctantly followed Benton to a room.  
Benton was curious as to what had happened to Dave, but did not consider asking. He could see the absolute rage on Dave's face. Benton was concerned about him; not that he liked Dave exactly, but Benton could tell that Dave was on the edge and someone needed to help him before he fell over. Perhaps he could calm Dave down before anything else happened.  
  
~~~  
So look what I've done  
Picture I've painted  
Doesn't quite fit  
Or surround the edge  
But I remember it much redder  
~~~  
  
Kerry led Ray to a quiet room and sat him on a bed. "It's the anniversary of my wifes death," Ray explained, "I know I shouldn't have gone drinking, but I was just so sad. I came here to see Dave, but he attacked me." Ray spurted quickly.   
"Why don't you sit here and get your rest?" Kerry asked, walking out of the room. She walked up to where Randi was sitting at the admit desk.   
"Randi, have you seen Dave." she asked.  
"Benton took him into an exam room 2, he was bleeding." Randi said a little suspiciously. "I don't think you should go in there." She added.  
"When I want you opinoin, Randi, I'll ask for it." Kerry spat, starting to hobble towards the room.  
  
As she burst through the door she surprised Benton, who then jerked on the stitch he was stitching, causing Dave to wince. "As soon as you are done here, I don't want to see you for a week." Kerry yelled at Dave. "I can't believe you would do this to your father on the anniversary of her death. I thought I knew you Dave, but I guess I don't. Your father needs you, especially today of all days. G_d, I expected more from you. While you're gone, perhaps you should look into some more counceling." She looked at him and shook her head in disgust. "Don't come back for a week." She repeated and exited the room.  
  
When she had left Benton looked down at Dave. "What was all that about?" he asked.  
"Are you almost done?" Dave said in reply.  
"One more." Benton mumbled, retreating from his question. As Benton finished the last stitch Dave quickly got up and headed out the door. Benton followed him into the hall and watched as Dave approached the emergency bay enterance.  
"Dave you are going to freeze out there!" Benton called. Dave waved off the comment and continued out.  
  
~~~  
Can you stay for a while  
Calling, crying, ashamed of what I am not  
Really failing, falling into this cage and I can't escape  
No, I can't escape  
No, I can't  
~~~  
  
Dave had just entered the apartment when the telephone rang. Dave's hands were numb from the cold, and he had a hard time picking up the phone. Sampson quickly told Dave that the pretrail had been set for later in the week, and explained that Dave didn't have to go. Dave told him he would, he wasn't going to work anyway.  
  
  
I can't escape...  



	11. Get Back: Within You, Without You

  
Get Back: Within You, Without You  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously: Dave was suspended from work after Kerry caught him in the process of punching Ray. Dave got a call that the pretrail against Mr. Mason had been set.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
There is some swearing.  
  
Dave walked into the courthouse and looked around for ADA Sampson. He was wishing that he had asked someone to come with him, but after the incidents with Jing-Mei and Dr. Weaver, he decided that he would go through with it alone. He was the only one he could really trust anyway. He was begining to wonder why the hell he pressed charges in the first place, all this was doing was bringing up terrible memories and dreams that Dave wished he had forgotten.  
  
Finally, he spotted ADA Sampson speaking with someone and walked over.   
"Dr. Malucci, hello, how are you?" Sampson asked politely. Dave could hear the shock in his voice.   
"I'm okay, I guess, how are you?" Dave responded mechanically.  
"Fine. As I said on the phone the other day, you really don't need to be here today. The case was dismissed in District Court after he was indicted. He waived his arraignment in Superior Court, so we're here basically to get a date for trial." Sampson explained again.   
"I know but I wanted to be here." Dave said, smiling nervously. What he omited was that he was also going crazy because he had nothing left to do. As long as the body is busy, it is pretty easy to keep the mind empty of thought.  
"Okay well, once they call the case, the whole thing should take about five minutes. Basically the Judge will ask if there is any chance that this can be resolved without going to trial."   
"You mean a plea bargain?" Dave asked.   
"Yes, but I spoke with Mr. Mason's attorney, Mr. Phillip Lowe, and he stated that his client would not plead out. Mr. Mason wants his day in court. So we'll tell the Judge that we are ready to set a date."   
"Will it be a jury trial or a bench trial?" Dave asked, remembering that his own trial was bench trial. His lawyer had thought that it was his best chance, she said that it would be easier to convince a single judge to give him a chance than to convince an entire jury. Boy was she wrong, the judge nailed him to a cross. Of course it didn't help that Dave never told the attorney or the judge what was really going on at home.   
  
"That's up to Mr. Mason. My guess is that he will want a jury trial." Sampson speculated. "Attorney Lowe may have some motions, but don't worry, that is just more work for me. If any of them impact you, I'll explain them but otherwise don't worry. Now I have a question for you Dr. Malucci."   
"What's that?" Dave asked not really in the mood to answer any questions.   
"Are there any dates that aren't good for you? As I said you really only need to be here when you testify. I decided to change my strategy a little, I'm going to have you testify last. So if you want you can just come then, but I want to know if there is any date that you can not be here for. You are my case Dr. Malucci, so I need you here to testify."   
"No I want to be here for the whole trial." Dave explained.   
"Well as long as you understand that you can't stay in the courtroom until after you testify." Sampson said.   
"Yeah, I know, but I still want to be here." Dave persisted.  
"Okay." Sampson said.   
"I can be here whenever you want, don't worry about it any date is fine. Can I be there for the opening statements?" Dave asked.   
"Yeah, that's no problem, you just can't hear any of the testimony." Sampson walked Dave over to a large double wooden door. "Okay Dr. Malucci, I have to go inside and do some paperwork, I'll see you inside okay?" Sampson asked, a genuine business expression on his face.  
"Sure thanks Mr. Sampson."   
"No problem." He said smiling at Dave, then he turned his back and left.  
  
Dave watched as Sampson disappeared through the large doors into the intimidating courtroom. Dave stood there for a minute feeling the way he felt the last time he was in court; scared, vulnerable, overwhelmed, and alone. Dave thought back to his own trial and how it had ended for him, and hoped that this one would have a better outcome. Dave closed his eyes and shuddered at the memory of the heavy metal doors of the detention center slamming shut behind him. Dave was lost in thought and didn't notice Ray approaching or the two men who were watching him from across the corridor.   
"Dave." Ray's voice rocked Dave out of his trance.   
"What are you doing here?" Dave asked coldly. His brown eyes matching Ray's blue, cold ones.  
"I stopped by the hospital to have my sutures taken out and Kerry told me that you had a court date today. So naturally, I thought that I would stop by." Ray announced snidely, then leaning closer, "I was curious."   
"About what?" Dave asked not really wanting the answer, he was more concerned with the fact that Ray and Kerry were on a first name basis now.   
"Whether or not you'd have the balls to follow through with it. I mean I know how much you love the Criminal Justice System." Ray chuckled. Ray watched Dave for a few moments, treasuring every ounce of pain he was causing. "You don't think that I came here to hold your hand do you Davie boy?"   
"No Ray. Why would I think that? You've never done anything nice for me in your miserable life. Why would you start now?" Dave asked coldly. Dave could smell the liquor on Ray's breath, and his loathing for Ray began to swell.  
  
"No, I just fed you, clothed you, and housed your ungrateful little ass that's all, you bastard. You know Dave you haven't changed a bit, you're still a spoiled stupid little punk. Your mother would roll over in her grave if she saw how you turned out."   
Dave could feel the rage building in him and desperately tried to control it. He knew that Ray wanted to shake him, he was doing what he always did, playing mind games; but the thought that he might be a disappointment to his mom, that was unbearable. "You haven't changed either Ray, you're still a bully, a drunk, a loser, and a bastard."   
"Well then Davie boy, you turned out just like me." Ray laughed.   
"Ray it isn't going to work, I'm not going to let you get to me like you did when I was a kid. I shouldn't have let you get to me the other day, that was my mistake, it isn't going to happen again." Dave said with more confidence than he felt.   
Ray didn't seem to believe him, "Tell me Dave, do you remember the last time we were in court together? I got to you then really good didn't I? From what I heard, a couple of guys got to you in juvy hall pretty good too."   
"Fuck you Ray!" Dave snapped unable to control himself.   
  
"Watch how you talk to me you little punk, I can still beat the shit out of you. Or maybe I'll tell your little girlfriend all about you adventures in juvy hall. How do you think Jing-Mei, or whatever her name is, will feel when she finds out what happened in there? You think she'll still think of you as a man? Maybe I'll tell her what a coward you were growing up, or how you use to cry and beg me to stop hitting you instead of taking it like a man. Does she know what a coward you are?" Ray's voice got lower and sharper as he went. "Ahhh Davie boy there is so much about you that I could tell her, things that would make her sick at the sight of you. I'll do it too, look how long it took me to turn Kerry Weaver against you, I'll do the same thing with Jing-Mei. You know I'll do it too. Hell, imagine what I could do with a little effort. I wasn't even trying with Kerry Weaver, and look how that turned out." Ray taunted.   
"You better not say anything to her!" Dave yelled as tears formed in his eyes. He would die if Jing-Mei found out. It was bad enough that he told her some of the stuff that had happened, he would kill himself if Ray told her everything. "Get out of here you bastard! Why can't you just leave me alone?"   
  
"Are you gonna cry Davie boy? You're such a little girl. You're so weak, it's repulsive. I'm glad to be able to say I am of no blood relation to you." Ray said in disgust, "No I think I'll stick around for awhile, this is fun. I forgot how much fun it was fucking with you." Ray's grin grew wider. "This is a public building, I think I'll stay. See you inside son." Ray hissed.   
  
Dave watched helplessly as Ray went into the courtroom. He sighed and tried to steady himself before he went inside. After a few moments, Dave reached for the handle, it wasn't lost on him how badly his hands were shaking. Yes, his stepfather still had the power to get to him; damn it, he was weak.  
  
Across the corridor, Attorney Phillip Lowe and his associate Lenny Marshall saw and heard everything. "Lenny is it me or does that Ray guy look just like Mr. Mason?"   
"No boss, they could be brothers."   
"Hell they could be twins, Lenny. Let me see the file on Malucci that the ADA gave us in discovery." Lowe instructed.   
"Sure boss, here it is." Lenny said handing it over.   
Lowe opened the folder and began reading out loud, "It says here that Malucci grew up in New York City with his mother and his stepfather Ray Palmer. That had to be his stepfather, Lenny. This is everything the ADA gave you on Malucci?"   
"That's it boss."   
"This is the questionnaire that Malucci filled out?"   
"Yeah, that's what Sampson uses in court. Why?" Lenny asked.   
"Because our young Malucci lied on this form. I don't think that he has lived such a squeaky clean life as he has led the ADA to believe, Lenny. You heard his stepfather, he did time in juvy hall, that's not on this form. It specifically says that he has led 'a crime and delinquent free life'. Lenny get on the phone to your contacts in New York City, I want you to dig up everything you can on Malucci. I have a plan."  
"What's your plan?"   
Lowe looked down at Lenny, "I'm gonna destroy that kid on the stand, Lenny." He answered simply.   
"How?"   
"First I'm going to call his ID of Mason into doubt, then I'm gonna destroy his credibility."   
"How?" Lenny repeated.  
"With the dirt you're gonna dig up Lenny, now get to work." Lowe said as he went inside the courtroom. Lowe looked at Dave Malucci as he walked to his place at the defense table, he looked like a nice enough kid, too bad he had to ruin him.   
  
Everyone stood as the Judge made his entrance into the courtroom. Dave looked over to where the prisoners were kept, but Mason was no where to be found. About half an hour later, the case was called.   
"The State of Illinois vs. Andy Mason. Your Honor, Mr. Mason is charged with Assault and Battery with Intent to Commit Murder and being a Fugitive from Justice." The Clerk announced.   
"Mr. Lowe where is your client?" The Judge asked.   
"Your Honor my client waives his appearance at this hearing."   
"Very well. Gentlemen where do we stand? Can this be settled without a trial?" The Judge asked.   
"Your Honor, Mr. Lowe and I have been unable to reach an agreement in this matter. I believe I can speak for Mr. Lowe when I say we need to set a date for trial."   
"Your Honor that's correct." Mr. Lowe concurred.   
"Very well. Are there any motions to be filed?" The Judge asked.   
"Your Honor for the courts information this will be a jury trial." Mr. Lowe stated.   
"Very well, Mr. Clerk mark it for jury trial on the docket." The Judge instructed.   
"Your Honor because we are seeking a jury trial, I feel that I must file this motion regarding the prosecution's witness list." Lowe began.   
"Go on counselor."   
  
"Well, I received a copy of the intended witness list from the prosecution and it appears that the prosecution is planning on calling several medical witnesses to testify about Mr. Malucci's injuries. It is the defense's contention that calling that many medical witnesses to give medical testimony would be prejudicial to my client. Not to mention the fact that these witnesses work with Mr. Malucci and therefore have an emotional stake in this. I'm not saying that they would intentionally lie, but I'm sure that they have discussed this incident amongst themselves several times and have probably collaborated their testimonies. The defense is asking that the medical testimony be limited to the primary treating physician in the ER, Dr. Mark Greene; and the primary treating physician in the OR, Dr. Corday. If the prosecution would like to call outside independent medical witnesses to verify what was testified to by Drs. Greene and Corday, we would have no objection to that. In fact, upon Drs. Greene and Corday's testimony the defense would be willing to stipulate that Mr. Malucci, did in fact sustain injuries testified to." Lowe explained.   
"Mr. Sampson do you have anything to say?" The Judge asked.   
"Yes, Your Honor, thank you. First, Mr. Lowe needs to get the victim's name correct. For the record it is Dr. Malucci, not Mr. Malucci, and the defense knows it. Dr. Malucci had undergone extensive training and regardless of the defense's contention that Mr. Mason is innocent, it is undisputed as the defense just admitted, that Dr. Malucci was viciously attacked an beaten. Therefore he deserves the minimal respect from the members of this court to at least get his name correct." Sampson said harshly.   
"My apologizes to Dr. Malucci." Lowe said with a sneer. Dave was confused; what did this have to do with anything?  
  
"Second the prosecution would agree to the motion, with the one assurance that if we get a conviction that we would have the right to call some of these witnesses into contribute to the victim witness statement." Sampson stated.   
"Mr. Lowe, I am going to grant your motion, with the one proviso that the ADA has requested."   
"Thank you."   
"Mr. Sampson do you have any motions?" The Judge asked.   
"I would just ask for a sequestration order for the witnesses until they have testified."   
"Mr. Lowe?"   
"I agree to that."   
"Done." The Judge said. "Let's set a date."   
"How about one month?" The Clerk offered.   
"One month is good for the State." Sampson declared.   
"It is good for the defense as well."   
"This matter is set down for jury trial for August 2nd, 2001."  
Then, suddenly, everything was over. Dave was amazed how fast everything had gone; it all seamed routine.  
  
Sampson walked out of the courtroom and motioned for Dave to follow. Once they were in the hall he spoke to Dave, "Did you understand everything?"   
"Yes. Should I tell Drs. Greene and Corday?" Dave asked.   
"No I will notify them. I'll be in touch Dr. Malucci." Sampson said extending his hand.   
"Thank you for everything."   
"If you can think of anything that I need to know you have my number."   
"I'll call. Thanks for the thing with my name, Mr. Sampson." Dave said smiling.   
"No problem. That attorney is an asshole, but he's good. It was nice to get in the first blow. Bye Dr. Malucci."   
"Bye, Mr. Sampson." Dave said. With that Mr. Sampson was gone, and Dave was alone again. He looked around the courthouse to see several people milling around. None of them payed him any attention.   
  
~~~  
We were talking about the space between us all,  
And the people  
Who hide themselves behind a wall of illusion  
Never glimpse the truth;  
Then it's far too late, when they pass away.  
~~~  
  
  
Kerry had allowed Dave to come back to work. She wasn't showing any guilt at suspending him, that Dave could see, but she was allowing him several breaks a shift. Dave, trying to catch a wink while the hospital was quiet, thrashed on the stretcher. In his sleeping state, Dave was in Ray's house; back in his own personal hell.   
"Dad I'm sorry." Dave pleaded, his voice not yet the voice of a man, but one of a scared 12 year old child. "Dad please." He whimpered as Ray's fist came down hard and connected with his eye.   
"You no good bastard." Ray bellowed, his face so close to Dave's that Dave could smell the whiskey on his breath. The combination of booze and tobacco made Dave sick to his stomach.   
"I meant to be home on time but the game ran late and I missed the bus." Dave defended himself uselessly.  
"I'm sick of your excuses." Ray screamed again as his fist found Dave's jaw. Dave could taste the blood in his mouth as his teeth clamped down hard on his tongue. "You're a loser Dave. You little bastard." Ray screamed over and over as the fists came faster and faster. Dave fell to the floor and rolled up into a ball to protect himself. He knew that there was nothing that he could do to stop the beating once it started, the only thing he could do now was to try to minimize the damage.   
  
Dave did what he always did, he distanced himself. Dave's body may be getting hit, but he himself was nowhere near. All he heard was the muffled sounds of the real world; what he saw a room of intense white. There was nothing in the room: no Ray, no beer, no bats or glass or anything that could hurt him. Here Dave was allowed a little peace, and he stayed as long as he could.  
  
"Get up!" Ray bellowed when he finally stopped. Dave weak from the beating tried to stand but couldn't, blood flowed freely into Dave's eyes from the gash on his forehead and his body ached. When he cracked his eyes open every thing was distorted and light, like exposed film; an after effect he commonly experianced. "I said get the fuck up!" Ray screamed as he yanked Dave up by his hair. He dragged Dave over to the small closet near the kitchen.   
"No Dad, please. Please!!" Dave begged knowing deep down that it would do no good, if anything, pleading would only foster another beating, but the thought of being put in the closet terrified Dave more than any beating.   
"Shut up you piece of shit!" Ray bellowed, slapping Dave harshly across the face, "Shut up, shut up! You make me sick, you little pussy." Ray punched Dave in his stomach as hard as he could and Dave dropped to his knees, all the strength beaten out of him. Ray pulled open the closet door and shoved Dave inside. Dave fell hard against the floor and slammed his head on the bottom shelf. For 12 Dave was still very small, and was still able to fit the the small confinements of the closet.   
  
He heard the door slam shut and was left in complete darkness. Dave brought his knees up to his chest and hugged himself. He could hear his father storming around the house breaking things. Tears were freely flowing from Dave's eyes, mixing with the blood, creating a swirling concoction to symbolize his pain. It matted his hair to his forehead like glue, and made Dave very uncomfortable. Dave bit his shirt to keep from making any noise, knowing that if he father heard him crying it would only get much worse. Sometimes it got so bad, Dave thought that Ray would kill him. Dave managed to cry himself asleep only to wake up several hours later. The closet door was still locked and the house was quiet. Dave pressed his ear up to the door to try to hear something, Dave ached all over, but worse than the pain was being locked in the cold dark closet. Ray knew that Dave hated being locked up. Dave always had such a hard time breathing in the closet, sometimes if he was left in the closet long enough he thought he would sufficate. This, of course, got him another beating. Sometimes if Ray got drunk enough he would forget that Dave was even in the closet and would laugh at him when he finally remembered, for not banging on the door. Or even worse, on a few occasions Ray would open the door with sheer remorse on his face, help Dave up, and take him to the bathroom to clean himself up. It was on these occasions that Dave was forced to rethink everything, and the reasons behind them. It was these occasions that proved to Dave that everything he knew was wrong, and it was these occasions that kept him prisoner.  
  
Dave wiped the blood away from his nose, and heard the kitchen door open followed by Ray's voice. Dave could tell that he was drunk. Dave leaned against the closet door and waited, he had to pee so bad. Softly Dave knocked on the door, "Dad, I have to go to the bathroom. Can I come out?" he asked tentively.  
"What?!" Ray ascending voice yelled. At the ultimate cresendo he yanked open the door, "Didn't I tell you never to knock on the door, that I would let you out when you had retributed yourself?"   
"But Dad I have to go to the bathroom, please." Dave voice was weak and timid as he crawled to the back of the closet.   
"Come here you little bastard! Don't you run away from me." Ray growled as he grabbed Dave's ankle and dragged him out of the closet. "Don't you ever talk back to me, do you understand me?"   
"I know, I know. Let me go please Dad, I just want to go to the bathroom please!" Dave begged.   
Ray threw him up against the wall and punched him once, hard in the stomach. Dave felt his bladder fail him as the hot urine flowed down his legs, through his overalls, and formed a puddle on the floor around Ray's shoes.   
"You little baby! You pissed your pants, I guess I'm gonna have to get you some diapers." Ray said with an evil laugh, then he looked down. "Look what you did to my shoes!" Ray screamed. He backhanded Dave so hard that he fell to the floor. Dave heard Ray walk into the living room. He was afraid to turn around, but did when he heard Ray return. Dave looked up in enough time to see the baseball bat swing down and connect with his hand, breaking it in several places.   
  
Dave screamed and shot up on the gurney. "Dave are you all right?" Elizabeth asked. It took Dave several minutes for him to realize that he was at the hospital and was now a grown man. Dave looked down at this arm which was shaking but long healed. Elizabeth was now sitting on the edge of the gurney with a worried look on her face.   
"It's okay, it was just a dream." She said gently, over run by her motherly instinct. Dave was covered with sweat and shaking. Dave swallowed hard and looked desperately at Elizabeth.   
"What are you doing in here?" Dave asked hoarsely.   
"I came in to get something. I was trying to be quiet but you started screaming and thrashing about. I came over to wake you up but you woke up on your own." Elizabeth explained. Elizabeth paused and gently touched Dave's arm, "What were you dreaming about?"   
Dave looked a Elizabeth, all he wanted was for someone to comfort him but he knew that he couldn't open himself up like that again. "I don't remember." He lied. "Did I say anything?"   
"You were begging someone or something to stop." Elizabeth answered. She looked at the man before her. "Dave are you okay?"   
"I don't know." He said looking down at her hand and gently squeezed it. He was really starting to warm up to Elizabeth, and he realized for the first time that she reminded him of the mother he had lost so long ago.   
"Tell me what's wrong please. Perhaps I can help." Elizabeth implored. Instead of answering her, Dave leaned over and placed his head on her shoulder. Elizabeth, caught off guard, wrapped her arms around him and held him. Dave held on tightly and sighed. "I'm so tired." He whispered. Elizabeth held him tight, until he pulled away.   
"I'm sorry about that." Dave said looking suddenly embarrassed. He was more awake now, and appalled by what he had just done.   
"Don't be, we all need some comfort sometimes." Elizabeth said touching his face again. "Do you have nightmares often?"   
"Sometimes." Dave sighed as he leaned back and closed his eyes. "It depends."   
"On what?"   
"On a lot of things." Dave answered, not offering anymore.   
Elizabeth could tell that he did not want to talk about it, so she decided not to push it or suggest that he talk to someone. "Well I'll let you get back to sleep."   
Dave stretched back out on the bed and watched as Elizabeth started to leave. He wanted to ask her to stay, but was too embarrassed to ask. "Thank you ." He managed softly.  
"For what?"   
"For being there."   
"Your welcome." Elizabeth said.  
  
~~~  
We were talking about the love we all could share,  
when we find it  
To try out best to hold it there with out love  
With our love we could save the world;  
If they only knew  
~~~  
  
Dave rushed from the room and began to wonder how long he had been asleep. He had to find Elizabeth; he had to make sure she hadn't told anybody.  
"Randi, do you know where Elizabeth is?" He asked quickly.  
"I think Cleo called her down for a consult, exam 2." Randi answered.  
"Thanks." Dave mumbled and hurried away.  
  
He opened the door to find Elizabeth and Cleo standing over the small patient, talking to him assuredly.  
"Dr. Corday, may I talk to you?" Dave asked, in what he hoped was a perfectly normal voice. Cleo and Elizabeth bothed turned, completely surprised.  
"I'm with a...."   
"It will only take a second." Dave interrupted. Elizabeth looked towards Cleo who waved her off.  
"What is it?" Elizabeth asked as soon as they left the room. Dave looked around, then lowered his voice.  
"I just wanted to make sure you didn't tell anybody." He answered.  
"About What?" Elizabeth asked, and then suddenly remembered. "About your nightmare?"   
Dave nodded.  
"No, I haven't told anybody." Elizabeth responded.  
"And your not going to right?" Dave asked.  
"I wasn't planing on it..." Elizabeth answered.  
"Thanks, I better get back to work." Dave responded, relieved, as he hurried off. Elizabeth shook her head and reentered the exam room.  
  
~~~  
When you've seen beyond yourself,  
Then you may find peace of mind is waiting there.  
And then time will come when you see we're all one,  
And life flows on within you and without you.  
~~~  
  
As soon as the boy had been safely deposited to Romano, Elizabeth began to rethink what she had told Dave. Maybe she should tell someone. It was obvious that Dave was still teetering on some edge, and she wondered which direction it was better to push him. Jing Mei wasn't supposed to tell her about Dave's abuse, but she did. Maybe she should tell Jing Mei. Elizabeth settled her arguement quickly. The next time she saw Jing Mei she would tell her.  
  
~~~  
We were talking about the love that's gone so cold,  
And the people  
Who gaint the world and lose their sole,  
They don't know,  
They can't see.  
Are you one of them?  
~~~  
  
As soon as Elizabeth had told her, Jing Mei had gone to look for Dave. She didn't konw how long she had been looking, but it seemed forever. Then she caught a glimpse of navy blue scrubs. She followed it until she found Dave by the candy dispensers, hitting the malfunctioning machine.  
"Dave." Jing Mei said experimentily. Dave turned, hit face flustered with anger.  
"Oh... .Hey whats up?" He asked. "The dumb machine ate my money.." He drawled on.  
"Dave.... Elizabeth came and talked to me." She started. Dave turned as if someone had suddenly stabbed him.  
"What?" He asked viciously.  
"Well..... She said." Jing Mei was afraid of what she had started.  
"You shouldn't believe everything people tell you." Dave offered. Before Jing Mei could answer Kerry found them.  
"Trauma coming in. Jing Mei with me, Dave you're with Elizabeth."  
  
~~~   
Try to realise it's all within yourself;  
No one else can make you change.  
And to see you're really only very small,  
And like flows on within you and without you.  
~~~  
  
As Jing Mei helped transfer the patient to the bed in trauma 1, she saw Dave and Elizabeth through the doorway. She could tell their was tension between them, and felt fully responsible.  
  
"Dave, I only told her because I knew you were close. I wasn't planning to tell anyone else." Elizabeth tried to make her case, while also trying to put in a chest tube.  
"You still lied to me. And how do you know I wanted Jing Mei to know?" Dave asked, his voice calm and uncaring, as he checked for internal bleeding with the ultrasound. Haleh looked at them curiously, but didn't bother them.  
"Dave try to understand..." Elizabeth started.  
"He's crashing!" Haleh called suddenly, interrupting her.  
  
~~~  
  
Jing Mei looked up just in time to see Dave and Elizabeth strip off their gloves and head out the room. They still appeared to be bickering.  
"Jing Mei, I called surgery and they're going to take him up." Kerry said as she got off the phone.  
"Oh, that's good." Jing Mei said distantly. "Can you take him up? I have to do something."  
"Sure." Kerry said, giving her a questioning look. Jing Mei left the trauma room and headed off towards admit.  
  
"Randi where did Dave go?" Jing Mei asked urgently.   
"He stormed off. What happened in that trauma?" Randi asked.   
"He got into a pissing contest with Dr. Corday." Jing Mei sighed.   
"Really?" Randi asked, suddenly interested.  
"Yeah, did he say where he was going? Randi please think." Jing Mei urged her before she could ask any questions.  
"He said something about going some place to think. He's off duty, but I got the impression that he wasn't going too far." Randi explained.   
"Great! That only leaves about a million places he could be." Jing Mei sighed, exasperated.   
"Wait! I was wrong, he said he was going to his place, and for some reason I don't think he meant his apartment. I mean he didn't take his coat or anything." Randi said smiling, "Does that help?" she always loved to solve a mystery.   
"Yes, yes it does Randi." Chen said jumping to her feet. "Sign me out."   
"Good luck, but he didn't look like he was in the mood for company." Randi commented.   
"Good night Randi."   
"Good night Dr. Chen."   
  
Jing Mei walked quickly down the hall, toward the wing that led to the research department of the hospital. Most of the building would be deserted at this hour, but she knew that Dave liked to go to the roof of the research building to think. She had found him up there twice before. Once after the fight with Benton and the second time after he was suspended for fighting with a patient's father. Dave had told her he liked it there because no one ever thought to go there, everyone always went to the roof of the main hosptial. Once he joked that the main roof was as crowded as rush hour traffic.  
  
Jing Mei rode the elevator to the roof and hoped that she was right. She was so worried about Dave, she knew that he was on the edge but didn't know how to help him. There was something about Dave, that captured her and she didn't know exactly what it was. But she was sure that she loved him, although she wasn't ready to tell him yet. She wasn't even sure why she loved him, or even when she had started to love him; he was a pain in the ass, he was brash, cocky, self-centered, insensitive, crude, and lazy. But then there was that other side to him, the side he didn't show people, the side he only let her see once in awhile, the side that was compassionate, caring, scared, loving, and vulenerable. Then of course there were the physical attributes, the smile, the hair, the body, the eyes, and the face.   
  
The elevator doors opened and Jing Mei stepped onto the roof. It was a windy night, and Chen wrapped her lab coat around herself; it was suppose to storm tonight. Chen spotted Dave sitting on the far side of the roof, with his legs dangling over the side of the building. For a second she thought she saw him slowly leaning forward, preparing to let go; and she was about to run to save him. Instead she slowly walked up to the slouching figure, and sat down beside him without saying a word. His mean front he had put up to her earlier had all but disappeared, and once again Jing Mei felt herself stumbling into that dark pit he sometimes brought her to.  
  
"You know she was only trying to help." Jing Mei started. Dave nodded.  
"Yeah, I know." he answered softly. "I just..." he started, but stopped. He wasn't sure why he had gotten mad at Elizabeth. He probably would have wanted to Jing Mei to know anyway, and Elizabeth was only trying to help him.  
"I understand," Jing Mei responded before his silence became awkward. It was getting colder and despite her feelings for him she wanted to end this as quickly as posible. "Are you off?" She asked.  
"In 10 minutes." He answered, checking his watch.  
"Here, I'll walk you back." She answered, carefully backing away from the edge, then stepping aside to give him ample room to make his desent safely.  
  
They walked over towards the elevator and waited for it to arrive. The stars had just started to come out and the both admired them silently. When the ting of a bell annouced the elevator's arrival they swiveled around to meet it. The elevator was empty, which suited them both just fine. They walked in and Jing Mei pressed the button for the ground floor. She took a deep breath and decided to just tell him.   
"Dave, we've known each other a long time, and with all that has happened between us, I just wanted to tell..." Jing Mei was interrupted by the sudden pitch of the elevator as it sped down faster then it should. Then it stopped abruptly. The lights flashed out.  
  
~~~  
  
I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  
e-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  



	12. Get Back: Wait

Get Back: Wait  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
Both parts of the Title are the names of Beatles Songs. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously: Dave went to the pretrail for Mr. Mason, he had a bad dream and got mad at Corday when she told Jing Mei about it. Jing Mei and Dave were in an elevator, it began to fall, then the lights went out.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
  
The light's flashed out...  
The abrupt stop of the elevator sent Jing Mei flying into Dave. Jing Mei distantly felt her arm catch on the hand rails surrounding the elevator, as she and Dave tumbled to the floor. Then, just as suddenly as the lights had gone out, they were back on again. Dave groaned from his postion underneath Jing Mei, and she tried to move. This sent a shearing pain all the way up through her arm, and she turned to see it stuck in an unearthly position.   
"Are you alright?" Dave asked, still on the floor and tenderly touching his head. Jing Mei managed a groan and motioned towards her arm. Dave saw it and his eyes widened. He seemed to ponder what to do next, then slowly stood up, supporting Jing Mei.  
"It's dislocated, It'll have to be set." He explained as he moved forwad to pry her arm out of the hand rails.  
"AHHHH!" Jing Mei screamed unintentionally as her arm was extracted. At the moment she couldn't think of a pain more terrible. Dave helped her fall gently to the floor and took in their surroundings. For the first time it registered that the Elevator had stopped and was stuck somewhere.  
  
"This doesn't look good." He muttered quietly.   
"What? Me or the elevator." Jing Mei managed through clenched teeth.  
"The elevator is stuck, who knows how long we'll be in here." He answered, worry taking over his voice. Jing Mei thought about what he had just said, and she knew she couldn't stand the pain too much longer.  
"You have to set my shoulder for me." she rationalized quietly.  
"I think we should wait.... until they get us out." Dave answered, his voice growing more and more concerned, as if he wasn't sure they'd ever get out.  
"Set it now!" Jing Mei screamed as another wave of pain flooded over her.  
  
Dave walked again towards Jing Mei and tried to assess what he should do next. His head was spinning, and Dave wasn't sure if it was from his fall or his confinement in the elevator. Dave tried to push back his memory of the dream he had had earlier, and the thought of how ironic this was.   
  
He was going to have to pop Jing Mei's shoulder back into place. Her eyes were squinted shut and sweat was begining to drip down her forehead. "Just do it." She whispered softly. Dave nodded and gently began to pick up Jing Mei's arm. Jing Mei was completely emersed in her pain, and was barely aware of what was happening. Before the 'pop' even registered her pain was suddenly subsided. She took a deep breath and sighed in relief. She opened her eyes and looked at Dave thankfully. His look back was also relieved, but it also showed a certain amount of fear.  
  
"Maybe we should push the emergency button." Jing Mei suggested. Dave nodded and walked over to the control panel. He quickly pushed the red button, then he noticed the intercom.  
"Hello? Hello?" Dave asked loudly. He began to worry immediately that no one would answer, then a voice came on.  
"What seems to be a problem?" It asked him.  
"We're stuck." Dave answered dumbly.  
"Yes...." The voice answered, "Between the 4th and 5th floor. We're working on it. It may be a while though." He announced in a dull voice.  
"I just had to set my collegue's dislocated shoulder, she needs to be examined." Dave pointed out as if the man was stupid.  
"I'll relate that to the team. Just sit tight." he answered.  
  
"I'm fine Dave." Jing Mei reassured him and he began to pace the length of the elevator.  
"Why would it take them so long?" Dave asked. "Shouldn't they be done by now?"   
"We've only been in here... what? 15 minutes?" Jing Mei answered. Dave kept on shaking his head.  
"No, we should be out by now." He responded.  
"Dave, calm down. I'm sure they have everybody working on it. Everything is going to fine." Jing Mei said; she was exhausted. Dave stopped his pacing to look up. A metal mesh extended over the lights above.  
"Dave, your head is bleeding, are you okay?" Jing Mei asked worridly.  
"There's no excape hatch." Dave stated incredulously, completely unaware of her question. "How are we supposed to get out?"  
Jing Mei tried to keep her eyes open. Why was Dave acting this way? It was almost as if he was....  
"Dave, are you claustrophobic?" She asked suddenly. He turned to her as if she was crazy. Then his gaze changed and he answered, "Maybe just a little bit."  
Jing Mei sighed. As much as she felt for him, she wasn't in the state to handle this.  
"Just calm down, and take deep breaths." was her advice.  
"Calm down? How am I suppose to do that?" Dave spat angrily.  
~~~  
I feel as though you ought to know  
That I've been good, as good as I can be.  
And if you do, I'll trust in you  
And know that you will wait for me.  
~~~  
  
Ten more minutes had passed and Jing Mei was feeling better. Dave on the other hand was growing steadily worse. He was sitting with his back to the corner of the elevator. He was sweating profusly and starting to hyperventilate. "Dave, just calm down. I'm sure they're almost done." Jing Mei tried to reassure him. Dave shook his head defiantely.  
"No, no they're not." He answered. Jing Mei began to scoot her way towards him. With her good arm she picked up his hand and began to stroke it softly, but Dave didn't seem to notice.   
  
His head started to sway back and forth. He was feeling sick and was on the verge of throwing up. "Uhhhhh...." He moaned, as his stomach continued to turn.  
"How long have you been claustrophobic?" Jing Mei asked with mock interest; she just wanted to distract him.  
"Since I was a kid." was his only volunteered answer.  
"Do you know why?" She asked.  
"I didn't take to well to closets." He answered crypticly. His breaths were starting to come faster now, and Jing Mei began to worry he would pass out.  
"Dave calm down. Take a deep breath. Dave look at me." She demanded. Dave didn't take notice of her.   
  
She moved again to be straight in front of him. She suddenly heard scratching noises and men's voices coming from the other side of the elevator door. "See Dave? They're coming." She announced happily. Dave still gave her no notice. Jing Mei looked down at him and considered her options. She didn't like seeing him like this; he was breathing faster than what would seem humanly possible, and he looked at the edge of passing out. "Dave, calm down." She said quietly, already knowing it was futile. She couldn't think of anything to do. She had no way to calm him down that she could think of, so she did the first thing that came to her mind.  
  
As she leaned in and kissed him, his sharp breaths immediately ceased. His eyes opened and looked up at her. Despite herself she felt her heart jump and she slowly pulled away. She moved over to the side again and rested against the elevator wall.  
"Why did you do that?" Dave asked quietly, his eyes exploring hers.  
"Dave..... Somewhere along the line of all that's happened to us; somewhere I fell...." Jing Mei started with a smile.  
"No!" Dave cut her off sharply; standing up and glancing at the door.  
"No? What?" Jing Mei asked; totally confused and feeling like her heart had deflated and been thrown against a wall.  
"No, don't say it. You don't mean it." Dave clarified.  
"What do you mean? Of course I mean it!" Jing Mei defended herself.  
"No you don't. Trust me." Dave added softly.  
"No! Why wouldn't I? Why can't I?" Jing Mei demanded. Dave chose not to answer, and instead turned towards the door. Immediately he had forgotten about the small, inclosed area he was in; and all his symptoms disappeared.   
  
The sounds were coming louder now and the doors started to part. As the doors opened more it was revealed that the floor level was two feet below the level of the elevator. Silently Dave went over and helped Jing Mei to a standing positon. Jing Mei, still too confounded to speak, moved with him to the door of the elevater. Two security men she didn't recognize grabbed her around the waist and lowered her down.  
"You hurt?" one asked her. Jing Mei only nodded. "Take her down to the ER." the man called out to the others. Before Jing Mei could protest she was being lead down the hall and towards the stairs.  
  
~~~  
Wait till I come back to your side,  
We'll forget the tears we cried.  
  
But if your heart breaks,  
Don't wait, turn me away.  
And if your heart's strong,  
Hold on, I won't delay.  
~~~  
  
Jing Mei left the exam room with a sling around her arm. She quickly found herself at the admit desk. "Is Dave still around?" she asked.  
"He left a little while ago." Luka said  
"Is he okay?" Jing Mei asked  
"He just had a bump on the head." Luka answered her.  
"Yeah, thanks." Jing Mei replied as she turned to leave herself. She wondered briefly if she should go find Dave at his apartment, but quickly decided against it; he probably wasn't in the mood, and she had suddenly grown very tired. Again she wondered why he had said those things to her. Maybe it was just from his fall, she tried to convince herself. Yet, she knew that it was more than that. For all that she had learned about Dave, she didn't understand him. With his blatant rejection of her, she was suddenly aware of how much of her heart was connected with him. Now, instead of the breaking feeling she had expected, her heart seemed barely present. She felt empty and emotionless, and she was confused about what she was feeling and what it meant.  
  
She was in a taxi and on her way home before she recognized that she had left the ER at all. She felt all alone, more so then she had ever felt before. She wondered fleetingly if anyone else had gone through this before her, but she decided to let it go, atleast for tonight.  
  
~~~  
  
"Hey Mike give me a beer, would ya?" Dave asked as he found his way up his favorite stool at the bar.   
"Hey Dave, I haven't seen you in.....what? 26 hours?" Mike asked, looking at his watch jokingly, "How's it going?"   
"I've had better days." Dave answered truthfully.  
"Yeah, you look like shit, no offense." Mike said setting the beer in front of Dave.   
"Thanks." Dave took a long drink, almost draining the glass. He was feeling better already. "Hey do me a favor and bring me a shot of whiskey with a beer chaser and keep them coming okay? I want to forget about everything and everyone today." Actually, he didn't want to forget about Jing-Mei. Her kiss had surprised him, but the more he thought about it, the more he enjoyed it. But, he meant what he said when he told her to not get involved with him...he was trouble.   
  
"Don't you have to work tomorrow or are you still suspended?" Mike asked concerned. He liked Dave, he was a nice kid and Mike had known him a long time.  
"I was reinstated but I'm off tomorrow." Dave sighed running his hands through his hair, he winced as he touched the egg on the back of his head.   
"What, did you get suspended again?" Mike asked.  
"No, I banged my head so they sent me home to rest." Dave answered as he swallowed another gulp.  
"Is something bothering you Dave?" Mike asked, noticing that Dave's hands were shaking and he was pale.   
"Nothing a good night of boozing won't cure." Dave said with a smile.   
  
~~~  
Wait till I come back to your side,  
We'll forget the tears we cried.  
~~~  
  
Dave staggered out of the bar alone; not that he didn't try to bring someone home. It was probably for the best, anyway... he was so drunk, probably too drunk to do anything except pass out. When he finally made it to his apartment, it took all of his concentration to unlock the door. Dave didn't notice Mr. Lowe across the street in the car, nor did he realize that his picture was being taken. When Dave got in his apartment he saw that the light on his answering machine was flashing. Dave played back the message, and prayed that it wasn't Ray. "Malucci, it's Dr. Weaver where the hell are you? Call me when you get in. I'll be home after 7 p.m. My home number is 555-4569. I want to set up a meeting with you to discuss the terms of your return to work. The terms you agreed to. Call me. Bye." Kerry's voice came sharp over the recorded message  
  
Dave sighed, "I can't catch a break today." Dave dialed Dr. Weaver's number with great difficulty. "Hello?"   
"Chief, it's me." Dave answered stupidly.  
"Dave, I've been paging you all day. Where have you been? We sent you home to rest." Kerry asked. She could tell by the slurring that he was drunk.   
"I shut my beeper off, you sent me home to rest so I didn't see the point in having it on. Why?" Dave asked trying to keep the anger out of his voice. She reminded him of his mother in some ways, but why was she so mean to him all the time? Couldn't she see how much he respected her, and how much he needed her to like him?   
"I set up an appointment for you." Weaver said matter of factly.   
"What kind of appointment?" Dave asked, suddenly worried.  
"With Kim Legaspi." Kerry answered steadily.  
"What?" Dave snapped. Kerry couldn't be doing this, not again.  
"It was part of the terms of you coming back to the ER and you know it." Kerry yelled. "Fine!" Dave conceded, "What time tomorrow?" Dave sat down at the kitchen table, he knew that it wouldn't be long before he passed out.   
  
"How about 8 a.m.?" Kerry asked.  
"Chief, no offense but I don't think I'll be up until noon, I've had a few cocktails tonight." Dave explained laughing at himself. Suddenly this whole event seemed funny and he could not stop laughing.   
"It sounds like you had more than a few." Kerry stated, pursing her lips in concentration; she tried to proceed cautously. "You've been drinking quite a lot lately haven't you?" She asked, concerned.   
"Yeah, well I haven't had much else to do." Dave snapped venomously.  
"Well according to Jing-Mei and Carter you've been drinking a lot since you're father returned. Are you okay?" Kerry said.   
"Stepfather, Dr. Weaver, he's my stepfather. I don't have a father, he died when I was a kid." Dave corrected. "Is noon okay or not?" He asked in clipped phrases.  
"Noon will be fine, Dave. I'll make the appointment with Legaspi for 12:30 and you can meet with Mark and me at noon." Kerry answered noticing that he avoided her question. "Fine, bye." Dave said hanging up quickly. Before Kerry could ask if he was okay again, Dave was off the line, "Bye Dave." She said to the empty line.  
  
~~~   
It's been a long time,  
Now I'm coming back home.  
I've been away now  
Oh, how I've been alone.  
~~~   
  
Jing Mei woke up crying. In her dream she had been at the hospital and Dave had come in.... dead. His face had looked disturbingly at peace, and was completely untouched in his bicycle accident; but his beautiful body was mangled. It was in her dream that she realized that she didn't want to live without him. Her dream, so realistic, had brought her to the deepest, darkest place she had ever gone. Jing Mei had felt more sadness in that one dream than in the rest of her life combined. As she stood, she continued crying. Now recognizing it was a dream, she tried to calm herself. Dave is not dead! He is probably sleeping right now at home. I'll see him in a couple of days... She tried to reassure herself.  
  
She found herself pacing through her kitchen. She glanced at the telephone, but tried to resist the urge that sprung up in her. Finally, she grabbed it and quickly dialed his number. As the phone rang once, her heart fell; maybe he was dead. The phone rang a second, third, and forth time. With each ring Jing Mei's heart fell more and more; her lips began to quiver.  
"What?" And irritated voice burst onto the line. Through the hangover and moody mask, Jing Mei could still recognize Dave's voice.  
"Hello?" Dave asked again.  
"You're alive." Jing Mei heard herself say softly, her voice trembling with emotion.  
"What? Who is this?" Dave asked. There was a long pause on both sides of the line. Jing Mei continued to breath softly and cherished the moment of happiness his rough voice had brought her.  
"Jing Mei?" Dave asked suddenly, his voice noticably softer and quieter.  
"Dave...." Jing Mei tried to articulate. Neither one of them knew what they were supposed to do next. Neither one of them had anything to say. A click, and Dave had disconnected and Jing Mei was left feeling empty and alone again. She hung up the phone and sat at the kitchen table, and cried.  
  
~~~  
Get back! Get back!  
Get back to where you once belonged.  
~~~  
  
I love comments, criticism and Ideas. Help Wanted!  
e-mail me at yellowbrick_1@hotmail.com  



	13. Get Back: Epiphany

Get Back: Epiphany  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: I don't own any of these characters, the lovely people at NBC do.  
The first part of the Title is a name of Beatles Song. The second part is from a Staind song.Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave an Jing Mei were trapped in an elevator, but came out with minor injuries. Jing Mei tried to tell him she loved him.  
  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
There is a little swearing, but not much.  
NOTE: I'm assuming Legaspi still works at County  
  
Dave awoke a second time, but this time it was his alarm clock and not the phone ringing, that brought him to reality. He briefly wondered if the whole phone call was a dream created by some inner desire in him. He had realized, a while before Jing Mei, that he truly loved her; and he so desperately wanted Jing Mei to love him as much and he loved her; but deep inside he knew that if she did it would ruin him. He could never be good enough for her.... and eventually he would disappoint her...... or hurt her.... eventually he would ruin everything. Someday she would hate him and would leave him. And that he knew he could not handle. So he was going to do what he had always done, what had always worked out for him, he was going to run.   
  
His head was throbbing too much with the pain of his hangover to dwell on the subject very long, and he soon put it out of his head. Dave rolled over in his bed and groaned, 'G_d, how much did I have to drink?" He asked himself. The only relief to his hang over was his peace of mind. Today had the promising of any other day. He would somehow luck his way through both his meetings, and come home only to wake up the next morning and go to work. Work was his only constant, the only thing in his life that made sense, and work would never hurt him.  
  
The fact that he had to get to the hospital to meet with Weaver began to chip away at his delicate state. He knew he should care about what he looked like and if he would arrive on time; but he didn't. Dave got out of bed, still dressed in yesterday's clothes. He moved slowly towards his medicine cabinet in the bathroom, and searched feverishly for the aspirin. He quickly downed two without the aid of water, and closed his eyes, waiting for the relief. When it didn't come immediately he grew frustrated, and as he looked at his reflection in the mirror he thought, 'G_d, I look terrible'. He moved over to the shower and turned on the cold water, praying for mercy from the hangover. He got out of the shower, and glared at the clock contemptuously; it was already 11:20 and he had to be leaving soon.  
  
He searched in his closet for a clean shirt and pair of jeans, and was relieved when he found one of each. Why he bothered he wasn't even sure. Lately he didn't care what anyone thought of him; everyone already knew he was weak. He pulled on the clothes lazily, still acutely aware that he smelled of alcohol; it was seeping from his pores. 'Chief should love that', he thought as he headed for the door. As he locked the door he considered, flippantly, calling a cab; but decided the fresh air would do him good.   
  
The bike ride to the hospital was considerably refreshing, and when he finally locked his bike to the bike rack he felt awake for the first time that morning. He looked at his watch and found it was 11.56. He smiled at himself; he had made it on time.  
  
~~~  
'Cause I can't take anymore  
Of this, I want to come apart,   
or dig myself a little hole inside  
your precious heart  
~~~  
  
Weaver and Mark were waiting for him in the conference room   
"Good morning Malucci." Kerry greeted.  
"Hey." Dave answered casually. He made his way towards a seat that was obviously for him and sat down heavily.  
"How have you been lately?" Kerry asked as she looked at Mark, who was also wearing a concerned look on his face. Kerry didn't think that she had ever seen Dave look worse, he even looked worse than after his suicide attempt. At first glance, it was easily noticed that he was thin and had dark circles under his eyes, not to mention the acrid smell of alcohol he seemed to be carrying with him.  
"I'm fit to see a patient if that's what you mean." Dave answered, failing to look either of them in the eye.  
"Oh, I don't doubt that Malucci. I just want to know how you've been." Kerry articulated.  
"Fine." Dave answered, already bored with the question.   
  
"We wanted to have this discussion with you on your first day back, but then you got stuck in the elevator. We just need to go over a few things." Kerry stated.  
"Shoot." Dave responded, just shy of comical.  
"When I called you last night you were pretty drunk Dave, do you feel up to understanding what is being said here?" Kerry asked bluntly.  
"Yes." Dave answered, 'why wouldn't I be?'  
"How long have you been drinking like that?" Kerry asked  
"My personal life is really not the issue is it?" Dave asked defensively.  
"No, we're just worried about you." Kerry responded.  
"I'm sure you are." Dave said, his voice cold and hard, like his eyes. "I've never come to work drunk, and I never will; so you don't have to worry about it."  
"You know why we had to suspend you right?" Mark asked, speaking up for the first time.  
"Yeah." Dave answered.  
"So you know what you did was wrong, and you won't do it ever again?" Kerry asked. Dave nodded, he didn't want to speak in fear he would let out a yawn.  
"You don't seem to enthusiastic." Mark stated.  
"Well, it's not like I'm expecting presents. I just want to get back to work." Dave countered.  
"Fair enough." Kerry started. "These are the conditions we want you to start off with. No major traumas for a while. Stick to regular patients and cases. Any bursts of violence and there will be repercussions. Is that understood?" Kerry asked.   
Dave nodded. No traumas, so what? He could handle that. At least for a while.  
"And you have to have counseling sessions with Dr. Legaspi on a regular basis. If she feels that you need any specialized counseling, say like alcohol counseling, you must go. You also must provide proof of all the counseling you're in. I don't expect Dr. Legaspi to tell me what you say, but she will confirm that you are attending. If you have to go to specialized counseling, documentation for that must be provided too. We will also be asking whether you are cooperating, and again anything of any detail will be confidential. Are we clear?" Kerry asked.  
"Yep." Dave retorted.  
"Are you upset, Dave?" Mark asked.  
"Well, I don't like being accuse of being an alcoholic. So, no, I guess I'm not too happy." Dave snapped.  
"Dave are you willing to abide by these terms of not? They are not negotiable." Mark countered.  
"I said I'll do it and I will." Dave answered aggressively. He was getting worked up, and he knew it.  
"You also have to have all your cases reviewed by an attending, before the patient is discharged." Kerry added. "And we reserve the right to add conditions at anytime."  
"Well, that sounds like fun." Dave replied shortly. Kerry slowly slipped him a piece of paper to sign, stating he agreed. With out formal goodbye's they dismissed him to his counseling session.  
  
~~~  
Your words to me just a whisper  
Your faces so unclear  
I try to pay attention  
Your words just disappear  
  
'Cause it's always raining in my head  
~~~  
  
Dave sat in a very comfortable chair in Legaspi's office. He was slouching heavily and finding more interest in the ceiling pattern than in their conversation.  
"Why did you hit your step father?" Kim asked.  
"I guess I was mad." Dave answered.  
"What made you mad?" she pressed forward.  
"It was something he said, I don't quite remember." He answered evasively.  
"How do you feel about the upcoming trial with Mr. Mason?" Kim asked.  
"I guess I'm a little anxious. I want everything to go right." He answered. Kim wasn't satisfied with his answers, and Dave wasn't enjoying her questions. A moment of silence stretched out. Kim stared at Dave attentively, but he continued to look at the ceiling.   
"If you're not going to willingly talk, I don't see why we're are having this meeting, perhaps you could come back when you feel like cooperating." Kim finally announced.  
"I don't see why I have to be here either, but if I leave I can't practice medicine, so here I am." Dave responded harshly.  
"Why don't you just talk to me and this will go a whole lot faster." Kim suggested.  
  
Dave started to crack, and he realized it. He decided that if there was going to be a hole in the dam, it might as well be a big one. "What do you want me to say?" He asked loudly, finally fed up; he straightened in his chair. "That I hate my step father? That I hate my mother and father for leaving me alone with that prick? That I hate Mr. Mason and everyone like him? That I'm not satisfied with my job, or myself, or my life?!?" He was now on his feet and pacing around the room, turning every once in a while to direct what he was saying to her. "How about how I can't commit? Or that I'm actually afraid to get involved with someone? Do you want me to dwell into that? How about how the only reason my coworkers notice me is because I attempted suicide? What about the fact that I wish every day that I had been successful? Do you want me to talk about that? Huh?!?" Dave exclaimed zealously.  
  
Kim could see that he was close to loosing control. "Dave, calm down. Why don't we pick a topic and we can talk about it during out next meeting?" She suggested.  
"I don't WANT to TALK to YOU!" Dave screamed. "Not about anything or anyone. You can't help me…."  
Kim stared at him unflinchingly. "Okay Dave, that's enough for one day. I think you can go home now." she said calmly. Dave suddenly calmed down and turned to her again.  
"So what are you going to tell Weaver? Are you going to tell her that I'm a nut? What will you classify me as, huh? Are you going to take my career away?" Dave asked, clearly more then a little perturbed.  
"No Dave, I'm going to tell her that you came to your appointment and we discovered several topics that we can discuss. I'll also tell her I don't see any reason why you cannot return to work tomorrow." Kim said simply, "Dave, I don't expect miracles, and I know this isn't easy for you. It will take time. Just be patient."  
"Yeah… right." Dave agreed softly. "Thanks." He finally managed; he wouldn't be getting fired today.  
"Before you thank me," Kim began, "No drinking tonight if you have to work tomorrow, and no drinking for 24 hours before our next appointment. If you come into my office smelling like alcohol again, I will cancel the appointment and inform Kerry. If you fail to comply with these rules, I will terminate you from counseling and you will be asked to resign from County."  
"Okay." Dave said, clearly embarrassed. "I'm sorry… about my temper." He forced. He didn't know why he was suddenly acting like this, but it must have been Legaspi; she WAS a psychologist.  
"I expect that it will probably happen again." Kim interrupted him. "Make an appointment for next Tuesday, for an hour." She instructed as she walked him to the door. Dave nodded his agreement.  
"If you need to talk before then, here is my pager. Use it anytime."  
"Sure." Dave replied as he stepped from her office.  
.  
~~~  
So I speak to you in riddles because  
My words get in my way. I smoke the  
Whole thing to my head and feel it  
Wash away   
~~~  
  
  
It had taken the cab driver a while to find the Juvenile Court in downtown New York. "I'm not used to driving there. I usually drive uptown; I'm just filling in." He had explained.  
"No problem, as long as we get there before it closes." Lenny said from the back seat. Finally they arrived at the Court and Lenny paid the fare and began to walk up the steps. He was playing a hunch. No, he was playing on Lowe's hunch. Lowe had a feeling that they would dig up something about Dr. Malucci here, and Lenny would never question him. He walked up to a leggy blond receptionist and threw her his best smile.   
"Hello, I'm Lenny Meyers, I'm a detective from Chicago and I'm researching for a case and I need to find any files on a David Malucci." He explained quickly, deliberately making it sound like he was a cop.  
"How long ago was the case?"  
"About 12-15 years." Lenny answered.  
"Hold on a sec." They secretary murmured. She picked up a phone and dialed a short number. Lenny turned around to study his surroundings while she talked. It was a typical state building, but it was a dignified looking place. He studied the doors as different people came in: a worried looking middle aged brunette, a sad and sulky young man gripping the hand of a young girl, and finally a happy looking courtly man. Lenny was in the process of wondering why they were all here when the secretary got his attention.  
"You're in luck, the case was never sealed. I'll have to see your identification, and then I'll get you a copy." She said as she popped a bubble.  
"Thank you very much." Lenny smiled broadly as he reached for his wallet, and produced what appeared to be a Chicago Police ID. This was WAY too easy.  
  
Lenny quickly glanced through the file as he waited for a cab. Dave had been arrested and convicted for arson and attempted murder. He was then sent to The Johnson Juvenile Detention Center. So Malucci hadn't lived a crime free life, like he had written. Lowe had been right, and now it was Lenny's job to find out more. A cab pulled up and he got in.  
"Where to buddy?" The cabbie asked.  
"The Johnson Juvenile Detention Center." Lenny answered.  
"What are you going to that hell hole for? Jesus buddy, I hope your kid isn't there." The cab driver said pulling out into traffic.  
"Why?" Lenny asked, intrigued.  
"That place is worse than some of the state pens. It's where the State keeps the worst of the worst, until they can go to prison. It's a really shitty place, full of murderers and rapists."  
"All of them?" This was getting interesting.  
"Now, yes. I remember they use to keep other kids there too, you know the less hardened kids, but after a few got hurt, they stopped that. Now it's run just like a prison." The cabbie said.  
"Has it always been that violent?"  
"Yep, since the day they opened the door." The cabbie answered solemnly.  
After about a 30 minute drive, the cab pulled over and Lenny got out.   
"You want me to wait for you, buddy?"  
"No, I don't know how long this will take." Lenny said paying the fare. Lenny walked to the front doors, he looked around. There were high walls and towers like a prison, and Lenny wondered how Malucci ever survived a place like this. Sure he was a tough enough looking kid, and Lenny was sure that in a fair fight Malucci could more than hold his own, but in a place like this...never.  
Lenny walked into the main office and waited for the pretty young red head to get off the phone. When she was done with her conversation she walked over to him.  
"Can I help you?" she asked politely.  
"Yes, I'm Lenny Meyers. I'm a detective in Chicago and I need to get a file on one of your boys." He said flashing her the fake ID and badge.  
"What's the name?" she asked routinely.  
  
"Dave Malucci. He would have been her about 12- 15 years ago."  
"Okay hold on, I'll have to go to the records room. It could take about 20 minutes okay?"  
"Sure thing." Lenny said sitting down. True to her word, she emerged about 20 minutes later with a thick file.   
"If you want a copy of it, you'll have to do it yourself. The copy machine is across the hall." She said handing him the folder.  
"No problem." He said. Lenny copied the entire folder and then caught a cab back to the hotel. As soon as he got into his room, he called Mr. Lowe and filled him in.  
  
~~~  
  
The detention center files had been very helpful, it was full of information that Dr. Malucci 'forgot' to mention on the court papers. Not only was Malucci in trouble on the outside, but trouble seemed to follow him inside too. There were notes there stating that he was a quiet kid, small for his age, and he other boys beat him up on a regular basis. About 4 months in, he got into a fight with an older kid and was beat up really bad. Malucci was given 60 days in protective custody. As interesting as it all was but one small fact stood out. Just before Malucci's first anniversary at the detention center, when he was 15, he had been badly injured by some of the other inmates. The nature of the injuries were not mentioned except to say that they were severe enough that Malucci had to removed from the facility and treated at an ER. Lenny had acquired the name of the ER where he had been treated, and would head there tomorrow.  
  
Mr. Lowe chuckled softly. He had sent Lenny up to New York to dig up any files he could find on Dr. Malucci, but even Lowe would never have hoped for these kinds of results. He just hoped Lenny found something at the hospital.  
  
~~~  
  
Providence General Medical Center was a large, ugly building. It was a victim of several renovations and additions that made it look like a mismatched pile of children's toy blocks. Lenny walked through the front doors into a crowded ER. Someone was shouting for an extra nurse, and a lady was wailing that her son needed to be seen. As he walked up to the main desk, Lenny wondered how anyone could work in an inner city ER.  
  
"Where would I go to get files on someone who was a patient in the ER?" He asked a fatigued receptionist.  
"Medical Records. Second floor." She answered before moving away to help someone.  
"Thanks." Lenny said to her back.  
  
Lenny walked into the elevator and pushed the button for the second floor. He waited for a short while before the elevator doors opened again to spit him out. He found an information panel on the wall that directed him to the right. He entered what looked like a filing cabinet store. A middle aged woman was sitting at a desk typing on a computer.  
"Hello, I'm a detective from Chicago and I need to see all the medical records on Dave Malucci." Lenny said, quickly flashing his badge. Without speaking the woman typed something into the computer. She waited a second and asked.   
"Do you want 1981, '82, or '84?"   
"All of them please." Lenny answered, following her as she walked over to a specific filing cabinet. She pulled out a file and gave it to him.  
"Are you sure these are the only ones?" He asked.  
"Yes, here at least. You could check other hospitals. I'll need that back, but you could make copies in that room. Or you can just sit and read it." The woman suggested.  
"OK, thanks." Lenny said as he walked to the copy room.  
  
~~~  
  
The ride home wasn't as peaceful for Dave as the ride to the hospital. His meeting with Legaspi earlier had upset him. He had said things to her that he hadn't wanted to say. He had said things that he didn't even knew he thought about himself, and now it was scaring him. He almost rode right through an intersection before a truck honked at him. He stopped immediately, just avoiding falling over his handle bars. He took a deep breath and tried to focus. Everything was going to be alright. He would go to work tomorrow, he would avoid Jing Mei, Mr. Mason would soon be in jail, and Ray would be out of his life. Everything was going to end up all right.  
  
~~~  
'Cause it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said  
  
I am nothing more than a little boy inside  
That cries out for attention,  
though I always try to hide  
And I talk to you like children,  
but I don't know  
I'll do the right thing  
If the right thing is revealed  
  
But it's always raining in my head  
Forget all the things I should have said.  
  
SAVE ERIK! Sign the petition at http://www.PetitionOnline.com/keeperik/ http://209.185.240.250:80/cgi-bin/linkrd?_lang=EN&lah=6c8c377b1f7c02d1bc82b7e37f3a0989&lat=997849024&hm___action=http%3a%2f%2fwww%2ePetitionOnline%2ecom%2fkeeperik%2f Also write them. The addresses are at http://www.vanessaonline.com/docdave/shrine.html  
I'm NOT posting the next chapter until I get atleast 5 reviews! :) (seriously though) 


	14. Get Back: It's Been Awhile

Get Back: It's Been Awhile  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: "I, Alyssa, do solemnly swear…." Turns briefly to look behind her at the man holding a gun to her back. She clears her throat and continues, "That I do not own any of the character from the hit show 'ER'." Apparently having finished her job she feels the pressure of the barrel leaving her back.  
  
The first part of the Title is a name of Beatles Song. The second part is from a Staind song. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave had to meet with Kim as was agreed to return to work. Lenny discovered some stuff about Dave's past that he and Mr. Lowe are planning to use in court.  
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
There is a little swearing, but not much.  
NOTE: I'm assuming Legaspi still works at County  
  
Dave was frightened, and everything about this whole situation scared him. The place seemed really big, as did the children inside of it. The guards didn't seem to even care that he was scared, they just shuffled him through. Once in admissions they told him to have a seat and keep his mouth shut, not that he was planning on saying anything. Dave sat in the empty chair and looked around. There were a bunch of kids locked in a room, waiting to be taken to someplace, and there were a few boys cleaning the hallway. While he was sitting there, one of the boys walked by and growled at him. Dave had never heard anyone growl before. Dave was so scared, he began to shake. About 20 minutes later, a big guard came in.  
"Where is he?" Dave heard him ask. The other guard pointed to Dave, and Dave looked at the floor. The guard walked over to Dave. "Come on kid, let's get you processed." he said pointing to an empty room. Dave got up and walked into the room without a word. "Okay, take everything off," the guard ordered, as he filled out a form.  
"What?" Dave asked in a small voice, as he backed away from the guard.  
"Take your clothes off," the guard repeated. He looked at Dave and saw that the kid was ready to cry. "You've never done time before, have you?"  
"I'm 15," Dave whispered by way of an explanation.  
"Hell, kid that doesn't mean anything. We have some kids that are on their 4th or 5th bid by 15," the guard laughed. "All right I'll explain what we are going to do, and this isn't negotiable. First you're going to be strip searched, I need to make sure you don't have anything on you or shoved up your ass, then you're gonna piss in a cup, then I'm gonna give you clothes and bedding, then I'll take you to your cell."  
"But I want to go home..." Dave whimpered as the tears began to fall from his eyes.  
"Well, kid you should have thought of that before you tried to burn your house down with your old man in it," the guard said sternly. "Now take everything off, or I'll get people in here to hold you down while I take them off. I don't have all day."  
Dave continued to cry, but did as he was told. Once naked he was instructed to turn around and the guard searched his body and body cavities. "Oh, kid piss in this cup."  
Dave took the cup and tried to pee, but couldn't. "Do you have to watch me?"  
"Those are the rules kid."  
About 20 minutes later, Dave provided the urine and was give some prison clothes. "I have to wear these?"  
"For now, once you earn privileges you can have clothes sent in. But right now you get nothing," the guard explained.  
Dave followed the guard out of the room and received his bedding, and then followed the guard through the corridors. It seemed like everyone was staring at him. Dave was in shock, he thought that he would be held in a place like he was held while he awaited trial, he never thought that he would be sent to prison.   
The guard looked down at Dave, the kid looked so scared that the guard almost felt sorry for him. "So kid where did you get all those scars?"  
Dave looked up at the guard. "I don't remember," he said softly.  
"Whatever," he guard mumbled. "Well here you go. You'll be housed alone for the first few months, then you'll be given a roommate, so don't get use to being alone."  
When Dave hesitated to step into the cell, the guard gently shoved him in and shut the door.   
The next morning one of guards came in and let Dave out of his cell. "Chow time kid," he said. Dave and a few other new boys followed the guard down to the chow hall. Dave looked at the other boys, none of whom looked scared. One of the boys caught him looking at him and made a threatening face and Dave diverted his gaze to the floor. Once in the chow all, the other boys found someone they knew and sat down.  
Now, sitting at the mess hall table, Dave felt more alone than ever. At school he always had someone to sit with, even if they weren't really friends. Here everyone seemed to already have formed gangs, and Dave was certainly not a part of their plans. He wasn't sure if he wanted to be or not, but he just felt helpless, scared, alone, and tired.   
  
Suddenly, a boy a head taller than Dave started walking in his direction. Dave could feel himself cowering, but couldn't tear his eyes away. When the boy finally stopped in front of him, Dave's neck was craned upward to keep eye contact.  
"Who are you?" the boy asked.  
"I'm Dave Malucci." Dave answered meekly.  
"What are you in for?"  
"I set my house on fire," he answered.  
"Cool! Was anyone inside?" The boy seemed generally excited.  
"My stepfather." Dave answered slowly, wincing noticeably.  
"Did he burn up?" The boy was smiling now.  
"No, I ran inside and got him out."  
The boy shook his head in disgust. "You're gonna have to toughen up if you're gonna survive in here."  
Dave just nodded but said nothing.  
"How old are you?"  
"15"  
"You're small." The boy said. Dave only nodded. "I bet you'll need help." Dave continued to stare. Uninvited, the boy swung his leg over the bench to sit next to Dave. "My name is Jason. I can protect you. If you want me to." The boy stated. Dave found himself nodding. "Good, I wouldn't want to see you get hurt. Now, in compensation for my work I'll need something from you. You can do my chores, , but when you start to get stuff sent in I'll get that too. Then we'll call it even."  
  
Dave could barely think. He wasn't used to this kind of stuff. Was this a good deal? Dave finally nodded. He didn't want to get hurt, but knew he couldn't protect himself.. Jason nodded; shaking his black curly head and showing his buck teeth. "You're quiet. I like that." Jason said as he got up to bring his lunch over.  
  
Dave jolted upright. He could still remember just the way Jason had looked that first day. He could still feel the confusion and apprehension that he had felt. It was ironic that when Dave was sentenced, at first he had felt relief. After all he was going to be taken away from Ray, so Dave thought that he would be safe. Dave realized very quickly that he had gone from bad to worse. Dave had spent a life-time hoping that he would forget what his childhood had been about. When hope finally faded, he pretended that he had forgotten.   
~~~  
It's been awhile Since I could hold my head up high  
It's been awhile Since I first saw you  
It's been awhile Since I could stand on my own two feet again  
It's been awhile Since I could call you  
~~~  
  
Dave entered the ER looking calmer than he felt. He hadn't been to work for what seemed like ages, and he briefly wondered if anyone had forgotten about him. Even more unsettling was the fact that the trial had been set, and the date was approaching rapidly.  
  
"Hey Dave, how's the head?" Luka asked as he walked with Dave towards the lounge.  
  
"Good. Have you been on long?" He asked; diverting attention from himself.  
  
"Only six hours." Luka smiled. "Nonetheless, I think I deserve some coffee." Dave only smiled. Luka noticed Dave's somber attitude. "Have you learned anymore about the trial?" He asked with genuine concern.  
  
"It's in a couple of days." Dave answered vaguely, stuffing his coat in his locker.  
  
"I'm sure everything will work out." Luka tried to reassure the younger man.  
  
"Me too." Dave answered. Then he smiled as he walked towards the lounge doors.  
  
He was just getting comfortable when he ran right into Jing Mei.   
"Dave." She breathed. Dave didn't know how to respond. Her arm was still in a sling, and he decided to run with that.  
  
"I thought you'd be outta the game for a while." He said, motioning to her arm. He found it hard to keep emotion out of his voice. Despite all his hard work, he could still feel her moist lips against his. He could still remember the exact way she looked when he finally opened his eyes, causing him to forget the confines of the elevator.  
  
"I am." Jing Mei replied. "I just had to see you."  
  
"Why?" Dave asked. He had intended to sound harsh, maybe even threatening; but he couldn't pull it off.  
"Because I'm worried about you. You don't return my calls, you won't speak to me. Dave we need to talk."  
"I think we've said everything that needs to be said, Jing-Mei," Dave said quickly.  
"Dave I told you that I was falling in love with you," she whispered. Dave looked at the floor, very uncomfortable. "I do love you, and I couldn't stand the thought of living without you." She took a quick breath and continued before he could interrupt her. "I realized something in that elevator. I had known it before, but it was still an epiphany. Then that night I had a dream. You died…." Jing Mei bit her lip suddenly, and Dave looked up and could see tears forming in her eyes.   
  
Dave couldn't stand to see her like this, and he found himself moving in to embrace her. Suddenly Jing Mei started to cry. She buried her face in his shirt and hugged back with her one good arm. Dave started to coo softly, as one might a baby. He would have done anything at that moment to help her stop crying. Seeing her like this was killing him. Didn't she know that he wasn't worth it? See? He wasn't even trying and he was hurting her. Looking over her shoulder, he could see people staring at him. Mainly they were his coworkers, but Dave had caught the eye of an old woman who was watching them with a big smile on her face.   
"Dave, I couldn't stand it if that ever happened to you." Jing Mei finally continued. Dave was speechless. He tried to say something, either to comfort or rebuke her, but he couldn't. He knew what he wanted to say, but he couldn't. He had to make her hate him, it was for her own good. She would understand that someday. She would understand that if she stayed with him they would have destroyed each other. Slowly he pulled away, and walked down the hall; leaving Jing Mei crying by herself.  
~~~  
It's been awhile Since I could say that I wasn't addicted  
It's been awhile Since I could say I love myself as well  
It's been awhile Since I've gone and fucked things  
up just like I always do  
It's been awhile   
But all that shit seems to  
disappear when I'm with you  
~~~  
  
Elizabeth caught up with Benton as he was getting ready to go.  
"Peter? I need a really big favor," Elizabeth pleaded, getting into her most desperate face.  
  
"What is it?" Benton asked curiously.  
  
"I'm working tomorrow. I tried to get it off but Romano threw a hissy fit." She paused and checked to make sure Benton was still listening. He looked confused. "Dave's trial starts tomorrow," she explained Benton suddenly started to move, as if he had an itch he knew he could not scratch. Finally, he crossed his arms and turned his attention back to her.  
  
"And?" He asked.  
  
"I would really love it if I knew you were there to support him. Romano won't give me the whole day off, so I have to come back after I testify, and I think it would be good if he had a show of support there for him." Elizabeth finished rapidly.  
  
"Elizabeth, you know we've never gotten along. I mean I know he had it rough the last few months, but I really don't want to go hold the guys hand."  
  
"I know that, but I also know that he really respects you. I am sure he would make him feel good if you were there. Pretty, pretty please!" Elizabeth pleaded. Then she added, "I'll cover a shift for you when you need it." Then she knew she had him.  
  
"Fine, alright." Benton sighed. How did he get dragged into this? "What time does it start?" He asked  
  
"10:00." Elizabeth answered happily. "Thanks a million." Benton grabbed his coat and left.  
  
~~~  
  
Dave woke up, breaking the grip of a mystical dream he couldn't remember. Then it hit him; as solidly as Ray's fist could. Today was the day of the trial. He almost jumped right out of his skin, but instead he just fell on the floor. Already it was a bad day. He groaned as he felt his head throbbing. He drank too much last night again. God how much did he drink? What did he drink? He hurried through his shower and quickly brushed his teeth. Looking in the mirror, he noticed the scratches on his neck. Where did he get those? Then he remembered. He was at the bar, getting shut off by Mike, when this girl Angie came in and saved him. They went back to his place and had wild sex on the kitchen table. Then she left. She did what everyone does with him….left. Dave sighed, there was nothing he could do about that, and continued on with his grooming dilemma. He was not sure how to style his hair, he wanted it to look respectable, even if he wasn't respectable, he had to pretend. His hair had to be the hair of someone you could trust. He had no idea how to style his hair, half the time he did not even comb it. However, Mr. Sampson said that appearances counted so he wanted to look good. "Now if you could stop stinking of alcohol, you drunk," Dave mumbled to himself. He jumped into some nice pants, and a nice shirt; which he had convinced his neighbor to iron for him the other day. He finally grabbed a cup of coffee and hailed a cab. He wanted to get there early, and he wanted to talk to Mr. Sampson.  
  
~~~  
  
But everything I can't remember  
As fucked up as it all may seem   
The consequences that I've rendered  
I've stretched myself beyond my means  
  
~~~  
  
Mr. Sampson spotted Dave Malucci sliding through the door. He could tell that the young man was   
nervous, and he walked over to greet him.  
  
"Hello Dr. Malucci." Sampson said warmly, extending his hand.  
  
"Oh, hey." Dave answered, returning the handshake.   
  
"You need to relax. You look like you're on trial," Mr. Sampson said joking, and then he smelled the alcohol on Dave. "Have you been drinking Dr. Malucci?'  
  
"I had a few glasses of wine last night with dinner," Dave answered lying to the ADA, again.  
  
"It smells like more than a few."  
  
Dave looked away but would not respond. What did he know anyway?  
  
"Dr. Malucci I need you in there. If you can't do this just say the word and I'll try to postpone it to a new date."  
  
"No, Mr. Sampson, I want this over," Dave said.  
  
"Okay, then relax. You're not going to help our cause if you loose it on the stand," Mr. Sampson cautioned.  
  
"Okay," Dave sighed. "So what do we do now?"  
  
"First, go buy some mints and some water," Sampson said.  
  
"No, I mean in court. What do we do in court?" Dave asked shortly.  
  
"Well we'll pick the jury, which will probably take a few hours. Then we will start with opening statements, then you will leave the courtroom and wait outside. A court officer will come get you when it is your turn. While you are waiting, it's a good idea if you don't talk to the other witnesses. I'll tell them that too."  
  
"Okay."  
  
"Don't worry Dr. Malucci."  
  
"I'll try not to." This time he wasn't lying.  
  
~~~  
  
But everything I can't remember  
as fucked up as it may seem  
The consequences that I've rendered,  
I've gone and fucked things up again.  
Why must I feel this way  
Just make this go away,  
Just one more peaceful day  
  
~~~  
  
Jing-Mei was walking towards the courtroom doors when she spotted Benton. "What are you doing here?" She asked as she walked up to him.  
  
"Elizabeth convinced me to come and lend my support. She can't stay after she testifies and wants someone to be here to show how much we care about Dave," Benton answered unenthusiastically. Jing-Mei smiled.  
  
"Well, I'm glad you came. We should go get some seats. I want to sit up front with Dave, I don't want him to be alone."  
  
  
Dave was sitting in the courtroom, trying his hardest not to hyperventilate or throw up, when someone sat next to him. He looked up to see Jing-Mei and Benton slide into the pew. "Hey what are you guys doing here?" he asked, truly baffled.  
  
"You don't think we would let you go through this alone do you?" Jing-Mei asked.  
  
"Well…I…well…I…I," Dave stuttered. "I did actually. Yes, I thought I was going to be alone."  
  
"I couldn't let you go through this alone, Dave. I care too much," Jing-Mei said softly.  
  
"Jing-Mei, I can't deal with that now," Dave said desperately, rubbing his temples. "It's not that I don't appreciate both of you being here, but I wish you would just go. Please. Dr. Benton, you don't even like me. I've never given you a reason too, so I'm not saying that it's your fault, I just don't think you need to be here. So please leave, I'm sure you have something better to do on your day off than sit in court, like spend time with your son. So please just go, and take Jing-Mei with you. Just leave." Dave appealed quietly.  
  
"Afraid I can't do that, Malucci," Peter said as the doors of the courtroom opened and the defense walked in with the defendant and a group of court officers.  
  
"Dave, I'm not leaving either," Jing-Mei said softly.  
  
Dave started to protest, but decided to save his strength.  
  
  
  
~~~  
  
It's been awhile  
It's been awhile Since I could look at myself straight  
It's been awhile Since I said I'm sorry  
It's been awhile Since I've seen the way  
the candle lights your face  
It's been awhile   
But I can still remember  
just the way you taste  
  
~~~  
  
"All rise for the honorable Judge Alyssa Cannon." Dave heard someone say. In front of him Mr. Sampson rose, as did everyone in the room. Slowly Dave stood. He felt Jing-Mei reach over and take his hand in hers, giving it a gentle squeeze. The judge walked in and took her seat. Everyone behind them starting to sit down; Dave was thankful for the ability to sit, because his legs were about to go out from under him. Mr. Sampson had told him to stay calm, and he was, trying at least. It was then that Dave noticed that Mr. Mason and his legal team were still standing.  
  
The clerk began to speak, "Good morning, this is the trial session of Cook County Illinois in the State of Illinois. The Honorable Alyssa Cannon presiding in the case of the State of Illinois versus Mr. Andy Mason. Mr. Mason you are charged with Assault and Battery with a Dangerous Weapon and Assault and Battery with the attempt to commit murder. Do you still wish to plead 'not guilty'?"  
  
"Yes." Mr. Mason answered straightly. He wasn't even as nervous as Dave, and if it wasn't for the grave nature of what was going on Dave would have laughed.  
  
"Very well, let's bring in the prospective jurors and get started," the judge said.  
  
For he next 2 hours, the jurors were picked apart until 12 men and women sat in the jury box. Twelve men and women who were going to decide if Dave was lying and if Mason was guilty. Dave looked at their faces, and wondered about their lives. Did any of the men beat their sons? Were any of the women beaten by their husbands? Were they ever hurt? Are they happy?  
  
"Will the attorneys introduce themselves to the jury, please?" the judge prompted.   
  
"I'm Phillip Lowe, Mr. Mason's attorney."  
  
"And I'm Mr. John Sampson, and I represent the State of Illinois."   
  
"Very well, gentlemen," the judge spoke, "Let's begin with opening statements. Mr. Sampson."  
  
"Thank you your Honor. On the afternoon of November 29th of this year, Dr. David Malucci, who is sitting in the front row," he said as he pointed to Dave. "Treated the defendant's wife, the defendant was upset with Dr. Malucci's treatment and recommendations and as a result assaulted the young doctor. Now instead of making it a fair fight, the defendant waited for Dr. Malucci to leave the hospital and jumped him from behind. He struck Dr. Malucci in the head with a 2X4, and then proceeded to almost beat Dr. Malucci to death. If it was not for the fact that the attack happened in such close proximity to the hospital and care was readily available, Dr. Malucci very well may have died and this case would have been a murder case. The State intends to show that Mr. Mason willfully, knowingly, and with malice aforethought attacked Dr. Malucci with the expressed purpose of causing death or serious bodily injury. The State will call the lead detective of the case. Then the State will call the two treating physicians to to testify as to the grave nature of Dr. Malucci's injuries. First, Dr. Mark Greene, who treated and stabilized Dr. Malucci in the Emergency Room; and second, Dr. Elizabeth Corday, who operated on Dr. Malucci later. Lastly, the court will hear from the victim himself. Who will testify that he saw the defendant before he lost consciousness, and who will also give us a recount of the day's events. The State will ask, that after you've heard all of the testimony that you return a unanimous guilty verdict."  
  
"Mr. Lowe, your turn," the judge prompted routinely.  
  
"Thank you, Your Honor," Mr. Lowe began. "While it is true that my client was very upset with Dr. Malucci for his actions and accusations, he did not attack Dr. Malucci. In fact, the defense intends to prove that, although there was an attack, it was not Mr. Mason. But instead a case of mistaken identity brought about by Dr. Malucci's past and his confused state after the attack. My client is a good man, a family man, who loves his wife and children. I intend to prove it beyond a reasonable doubt, and when I do, we ask that you return a verdict of not guilty."  
  
My past? My past! Dave thought frantically. What could he possibly know about my past? His hands were sweating, and he frantically tucked them away. What did his past have to do with anything?   
  
"At this time, Your Honor we ask that all witness leave the court room, per the sequestration order." Sampson stated.  
  
Dave leaned forward and whispered. "Mr. Sampson, I want to stay. Do something. I need to hear what these people are going to say about me."   
  
"Dr. Malucci," Mr. Sampson said, leaning back. "We discussed this. You can't stay."  
  
"I don't care what we discussed! I want to stay." Dave said forcefully, sparking the attention of Jing Mei and Benton.  
  
"Dr. Malucci, you need to leave before the court's officers escort you out of the courtroom," Sampson said sternly.  
  
"Dave, what's wrong?" Jing-Mei asked, placing her hand on Dave's thigh.  
  
"Don't touch me. This is a set up, that's what this is," Dave snapped as he stormed out of the courtroom.  
  
"What the hell was that about?" Benton asked.  
  
"I have no idea," Jing-Mei mumbled. "But it's scaring me."  
  
"The State calls Detective James Jones." The detective took the stand and raised his right hand and swore under God to tell the truth, then sat in the witness chair.  
  
"Detective Jones, please state your full name, spelling your last name for the record and your occupation for the record, Sir."  
  
"Detective James Robert Jones, J*O*N*E*S. I'm a detective with the Chicago police department."  
  
"How long have you been a detective?'  
  
"Twelve years."  
  
"How long were you a patrol officer before that?"  
  
"Fifteen years."  
  
"How did you become involved with this case detective?"  
  
"I was called to Cook County General Hospital to investigate an assault and battery, possibly an attempted murder."  
  
"Was there a crime scene?"  
  
"Yes, there was some blood on the ground."  
  
"A lot of blood?"  
  
"Yes, a fair amount."  
  
"When you arrived where was Dr. Malucci?"  
  
"He was in surgery. We didn't get a chance to speak with him for several days."  
  
"So who did you speak with?"  
  
"Well first I spoke with Dr. Greene." Jones answered easily.  
  
"What did you learn?'  
  
"Objection!"  
  
"On what grounds?" the judge asked.  
  
"Calls for medical expertise."  
  
"No, Your Honor. I'm not asking about Dr. Malucci's medical problems, I'm asking what he was told."  
  
"Overruled."  
  
"I was told that Dr. Malucci was seriously injured as the result of an attack that occurred at the bike rack in the ambulance bay."  
  
"Did you then go speak with Dr. Malucci?" Sampson asked.  
  
"No, like I said, he was in surgery."  
  
"When did you speak with him?"  
  
"Not for a few days." Jones answered.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, when he first came out of surgery, he was out of it," the detective answered.  
  
"What do you mean?"  
  
"Well, he had a head injury plus all the medication. He couldn't speak anyway at first he had a tube down his throat helping him to breathe."  
  
"Objection!"  
  
"Sustained."  
  
"When did you speak with him?"  
  
"Like I said a few days later. He seemed foggy about what happened but he remembered Mr. Mason."  
  
"Remembered him how?" Sampson asked.  
  
"He remembered that he had angered Mr. Mason. When I asked him if there was anyone who would want to hurt him, he said Mr. Mason."  
  
"What happened next?"  
  
"Well, once his memory came back, he named Mr. Mason. Stated that he remembered seeing him standing over him."  
  
"Was that when Mr. Mason was taken into custody?" Sampson asked.  
  
"Well, no. Mr. Mason managed to evade us for some time. But he was eventually taken into custody and charged."  
  
"Were there ever any other suspects, Detective Jones?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Did Dr. Malucci ever seem unsure of his identification of Mr. Mason once he made it?" Sampson asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Thank you Detective," Sampson said as he sat down.  
  
  
  
"Detective Jones," Lowe said standing. "You mentioned that Dr. Malucci couldn't identify my client right away, isn't that right?"  
  
"Yes, he had a bit of memory loss due to the head injury."  
  
"Are you a doctor too, Detective?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So you don't know why Dr. Malucci had a memory loss do you?"  
  
"No, just what I was told," the detective conceded.  
  
"So you don't know how much he remembered and how much he could have made up?" Lowe pressed on.  
  
"I have no reason to think that he was lying."  
  
"I'm not saying that he was lying intentionally. But he sustained a head injury, so he could have been confused."  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And I'm sure he was angry and apprehensive with the idea that the man who attacked him still on the loose."  
  
"Perhaps," Detective Jones agreed unenthusiastically.  
  
"There were no other witnesses correct?"  
  
"No, none."  
  
"So we have a young man, at the end of a long shift, who was hit on the head from behind, who was probably scared and shocked out of his mind, in a state of panic, who was beaten to unconsciousness, as the only witness?" Lowe asked.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And for the record, Detective, how reliable are eye-witnesses in circumstances such as these?" Lowe pounded away.  
  
"Not very reliable."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because of the injury and the panic, things get confused and jumbled in the victim's mind," the detective answered reluctantly.  
  
"Thank you, Detective Jones." Lowe said as he sat down.  
  
"Redirect, Mr. Sampson?" the Judge asked.  
  
"Just one question, Your Honor, thank you," Sampson said standing. "Detective Jones do you have any reason to believe that Dr. Malucci is lying or wrong?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Thank you."  
  
"Mr. Lowe anything else?" the Judge asked.  
  
"Detective, do you know if Dr. Malucci is correct?" Lowe asked standing.  
  
"Do I know?" Jones repeated.  
  
"Yeah, if you had to wager your families life on it, would you?" Lowe asked.  
  
"No."  
  
"Thank you," Lowe said smiling, as he sat down.  
  
"Detective you can step down. Thank you," the judge said. The detective left the courtroom and the courthouse without looking back.   
  
"The State calls Dr. Mark Greene." There was a slight pause as the court officer went to find Dr. Greene. Soon he appeared and took the stand. He was sworn in and nodded to Jing-Mei and Benton sitting in the front row.  
  
"Dr. Greene, could you state your full name, spelling your last name for the record and then state your occupation?"  
  
"Doctor Mark Greene, G*R*E*E*N*E. I'm a doctor of emergency medicine."  
  
"Where do you work?" Sampson asked.  
  
"Cook County General Hospital."  
  
"How long have you been there?"  
  
"Since I graduated from medical school 10 years ago."  
  
"Are you a resident?"  
  
"No, I'm the senior attending in the ER," Mark answered.  
  
"So, you're one of the bosses?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you Dr. Malucci's boss?" Sampson asked.  
  
"Yes, one of them."  
  
"Is he a good doctor?"  
  
"Yes, he is."  
  
"What happened on November 29th of this year?"  
  
"I was outside waiting for a trauma, when we noticed someone lying on the ground."  
  
"Who was it?"  
  
"Dave…I mean Dr. Malucci," Mark answered.  
  
"Was he critical?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What were his injuries?"  
  
"He was unconscious. He had a head injury. Several facial lacerations and contusions. He had a broken arm. He also had a collapsed lung and some internal injuries."   
  
"What did you do for him?"  
  
"Well, we had to stabilize him so that he could have surgery. First we had to fix his lung so he could breathe," Mark said.  
  
"How did you do that?"  
  
"We inserted a chest tube into his lung."  
  
"How do you do that?"  
  
"You cut a hole in the side of his chest, between his ribs and the insert the tube."  
  
"Is it painful?"  
  
"He was unconscious," Mark answered, just a little annoyed. What did this have to do with anything?  
  
"No, I mean when someone recovers from that, is it painful?"  
  
"Yes, very."  
  
"Once his lung was re-expanded what did you do?"  
  
"Once he was stabilized we did x-rays and he was sent to surgery to fix is lung permanently and fix his arm and other internal injuries," Mark answered solemnly.  
  
"Could he have died?'  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What was his recuperation like?"  
  
"Slow, although if I remember correctly he removed the cast himself after a few weeks."  
  
"Was it painful?" Sampson asked.  
  
"Yes, I'm sure it was."  
  
"Thank you, Dr. Greene."  
  
  
  
"Mr. Lowe, your witness," the Judge prompted.  
  
"Thank you, Dr. Greene did Dr. Malucci ever regain consciousness long enough to tell you who attacked him?"  
  
"No."  
  
"And you didn't see it, right?'  
  
"No, I didn't," Mark said.  
  
"And Dr. Malucci is a friend of yours?"  
  
"I don't know if I would call him a friend," Mark answered slowly.  
  
"Well, colleague, then?" Lowe persisted.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"So you care about him?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"So you were emotional about it?" Lowe asked.  
  
"Yes, somewhat yes."  
  
"Would you lie for him?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Do you believe him?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Has he always been truthful with you?"  
  
"No."  
  
"So Dr. Malucci has lied before?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"But you don't think he is lying now?"  
  
"No, I don't." Mark answered.  
  
"Do you think he could be mistaken?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why not? He had a head injury that was severe enough that rendered him  
unconscious. Correct?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"He was confused when he first regained consciousness right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"And you still think that he is correct?"  
  
Mark hesitated, "Yes."  
  
"Thank you Dr. Greene."  
  
"Any re-direct Mr. Sampson?" the Judge asked.  
  
"No."  
  
Mark wasn't sure he had said the right things, but felt reassured by acknowledging that at least he had told the truth.   
  
"You may step down Dr. Greene," the Judge said with a smile. "Next witness Mr. Sampson."  
  
"The state calls Dr. Elizabeth Corday."  
  
There was a pause as Elizabeth walked into the courtroom. She spotted Jing-Mei and nodded as she walked by. Elizabeth took the stand and was sworn in.  
  
"Dr. Corday could you please state your full name, spelling your last name for the record and state your occupation please?"  
  
"Dr. Elizabeth Corday, C*O*R*D*A*Y. I'm Associate Chief of Surgery at Cook County General Hospital."  
  
"How long have you been at County?"  
  
"About 5 years."  
  
"Are you a surgeon?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Could you please tell the ladies and gentlemen of the jury what your involvement is in this case?" Mr. Sampson prompted.  
  
"Yes, I was called down for a surgical consult."  
  
"On Dr. Malucci?" Sampson clarified.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"He had some internal injuries that were going to require surgery," Elizabeth said.  
  
"Like what?"  
  
"Well, he had a punctured lung and a fracture arm that required pins. He also needed what is called and X-lap. Which is an exploratory laporotomy."   
  
"Why did he need that?" Sampson asked.  
  
"Well his blood tests indicated that he was loosing blood and we needed to find the source," Elizabeth explained.  
  
"Did you find the source?"  
  
"Yes, his spleen was bleeding but it was fixed with little effort."  
  
"Could Dr. Malucci have died from these injuries?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Did he regain consciousness before the surgery?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Was he in pain?"  
  
"There's no way to tell."  
  
"But he could have been in pain?"  
  
"Objection calls from speculation!" Lowe bellowed.  
  
"Your Honor, Dr. Corday is a medical expert," Sampson countered.  
  
"She is not a specialist in pain management," Lowe pointed out.  
  
"I'll allow the question, go on Dr. Corday," the Judge ruled.  
  
"Yes, he could have been in pain, at least until he was put under anesthesia  
  
"After surgery, when he came to was he in pain?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Was he given pain medication?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What?" Sampson asked.  
  
"Morphine, Demoral, among others."   
  
"Those are serious pain medications, was he in that much pain?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Did he have a lengthy recovery?"  
  
"Yes, but Dr. Malucci pushed himself so he could return to work," Elizabeth answered.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"I think staying home was driving him crazy," Elizabeth said before she had a chance to think of what she was saying. "I mean Dr. Malucci loves his job, and I think staying home upset him."  
  
"For the record, Dr. Corday how long have you know Dr. Malucci?"  
  
"Two years."  
  
"Thank you, no further questions at this time," Sampson said as he sat down.  
  
"Mr. Lowe, your witness," the Judge prompted.  
  
"Dr. Corday who is your husband?"   
  
"Dr. Greene."  
  
"The Dr. Greene that just testified?" Lowe asked with mock shock.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Did you ever discuss this case?"  
  
"Of course."  
  
"Did you coordinate your stories so they would match?"  
  
"Objection! Your Honor, defense counsel has Dr. Malucci's medical records and he has reviewed them. If he had some question about the veracity of the witnesses and their coordination of their statements he should have raised that in a motion. At no time has the defense expressed this idea and quite frankly, Your Honor, both Dr. Greene and Dr. Corday have impeccable credentials. Also, there are several other doctors and nurses who worked on Dr. Malucci, if the defense is going to question the veracity of these two witness the prosecution is going to call these other medical witnesses to testify." Sampson argued on one breath.  
  
"Objection sustained, the jury will disregard that question," the Judge instructed.  
  
"You've worked with Dr. Malucci for two years?'  
  
"Yes," Elizabeth answered coldly.  
  
"Have you always liked him?"  
  
Elizabeth was shocked by the question and couldn't refrain from looking at Jing-Mei. "No," she said slowly.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Well, he is young and a bit cavalier."  
  
"Irresponsible?" Lowe offered.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Reckless?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Is he a good Doctor?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"That's not what you said in the letter you placed in his file," Lowe countered.  
  
"Well, Mr. Lowe, Dr. Malucci corrected his deficiency, and has turned out to be a very good doctor." Elizabeth retorted.  
  
"No further questions, Your Honor," Lowe said defeated.  
  
"Mr. Sampson?"  
  
"Nothing Your Honor," Sampson said.  
  
"You may step down Dr. Corday," the Judge said smiling at Elizabeth.  
  
"Mr. Sampson you next witness," the Judge indicated.  
  
"The state calls Dr. David Malucci," Sampson said. Again there was a pause in the proceeding. To Jing-Mei it seemed to last forever. She watched Dave as he took the stand. He looked scared, she thought. Without thinking she reached over and took Benton's hand.  
  
"Dr. Malucci, please state your name, spelling your last name for the record and state your occupation," Sampson prompted.  
  
"Uh, Dr. David Malucci, M*A*L*U*C*C*I. I'm a fourth year resident at Cook County General Hospital."  
  
"Dr. Malucci how old are you?"  
  
"30."   
  
"Are you married?"  
  
"No,"  
  
"Children?"  
  
"No," Dave answered, although he wasn't sure about that. He never stuck around long enough, and for all he knew there could be a few little Daves out there.  
  
"Now, you're a doctor right?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Where did you go to school?"  
  
"Grenada."  
  
"But you are a doctor in the United States?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you a good doctor?"  
  
"I think so," Dave said with a shrug.  
  
"What made you want to be a doctor?" Lowe asked.   
  
Dave had to think quickly, he didn't know what to say. "I've always been interested in medical stuff." He finally answered. He realized he had just lied under oath.  
  
"Dr. Malucci, do you like being a doctor?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"How did you meet Mr. Mason?" Sampson asked.  
  
"I was treating his wife for a broken arm."   
  
"How did she injure herself?"  
  
"She told me that her husband broke her arm," Dave answered.  
  
"Objection!"  
  
"Overruled."  
  
"Did you believe her?" Sampson continued.  
  
"Yes."  
  
"What did you do?"  
  
"I reported him to psychiatry and was going to call the police," Dave answered.  
  
"What happened?" Sampson prompted.  
  
"Well, psychiatry came down to talk to him. They took him upstairs, and I got trauma case. When I was free I went to check on Mrs. Mason but she was gone. As I began to dial the police, I was informed that she recanted and they left together."  
  
"Were you upset?"  
  
"I don't like to see that no. It happens all the time, I was afraid for her safety," Dave explained.  
  
"You worked the rest of your shift?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Any other confrontations?"  
  
"No."  
  
"What happened when you left?" Sampson asked.  
  
"I went to the bike rack and I knelt down to get my bike and I felt this slam from behind," Dave explained looking at his hands.  
  
"What do you mean, slam?"  
  
"I was hit in the back of the head with something," Dave responded.  
  
"What happened next?"  
  
"I fell face first into the cement. When the hit the ground I rolled over."  
  
"Did you see anything?" Sampson asked looking at the jury.  
  
"Mr. Mason standing over me," Dave answered slowly.  
  
"Then what happened?"  
  
"I saw him raise the 2X4 again and he hit me a few times and I lost consciousness."  
  
"Do remember anything after that?"  
  
"I remember, every once in awhile, I felt pain. A lot of pain. And I heard the voice of people working on me. But nothing really made sense," Dave said looking at Jing-Mei. She looked miserable and completely anguished.  
  
"When you came to in recovery, where you confused?"  
  
"Yes, very." Dave responded truthfully.  
  
"When the police asked you who did this, what did you tell them?"  
  
"I told them Mr. Mason," Dave answered confidently.  
  
"And for the record, Dr. Malucci, is the man that attacked you in the courtroom?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Could you point to him and describe an article of clothing?"  
  
"He's sitting there," Dave said pointing at Mr. Mason. "He's wearing a blue suit."   
  
"Did you give the police any other name?"  
  
"No."  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Because I knew who did it, it was Mr. Mason."  
  
"Are you still sure it was Mr. Mason?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Let's talk about your recovery. Was it painful?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
"Are you still in pain?"  
  
"Sometimes," Dave said honestly. Jing-Mei looked at him in shock. He never mentioned that he was still in pain. Why hadn't he told her? She would have gotten him something, she would have helped him in some way. She would have done anything for him.   
  
"What's was worse the physical or the emotional pain?" Sampson asked.  
  
"The emotional pain," Dave answered looking at his hands again. It had come out easily, at least he was telling the truth.  
  
"Why?"  
  
"Why?" Dave repeated.  
  
"Yes, why Dr. Malucci?"  
  
"Because I'm a pretty strong guy. I can defend myself, or at least I thought I could. Knowing that I can't hurts," Dave said softly.  
  
"Well, Dr. Malucci in a fair fight I'm sure you could defend yourself," Sampson shot.  
  
"Objection!" Lowe screamed.  
  
"Sustained, Mr. Sampson behave," the Judge admonished.  
  
"Sorry, Your Honor. I have no further questions at this time," Sampson said taking his seat.  
  
"Mr. Lowe your witness," the Judge prompted.  
  
"Your Honor, I have a lengthy cross in store for Dr. Malucci and given the late hour, I was wondering if we could end here and resume tomorrow?"  
  
Lengthy cross? What did that mean? Why couldn't they finish it now? God, I hope this doesn't mean anything. Dave thought. What was Lowe doing? Was it just him, or did Lowe look smug?  
  
"Mr. Sampson any objection?" the Judge asked.  
  
"None, Your Honor."  
  
"Very well, Dr. Malucci you can step down. But be here tomorrow at 9 a.m. to resume with the trial. Do you understand?" the Judge asked.  
  
"Yes, Ma'am," Dave said softly. Dave stepped off the stand and walked quickly out of the courtroom, as the judge began giving the jury instructions.   
  
~~~  
  
Dave left the courthouse without speaking to anyone. All he wanted to do was run away and never come back; but he knew that he had to return the next day to finish what he had started. He had this feeling that it was all going to go wrong, and he would be the loser again. Dave heard Jing-Mei call after him, but he pretended that he didn't, and broke out into a slow jog.  
  
"Do you think he heard me?" Jing-Mei asked. She squinted, hurt.  
  
"I don't know," Benton answered. "I guess not, I mean why would he ignore you?" He couldn't think of a reason, but he was sure she could.  
  
"Dr. Benton, something is really wrong with him. There's something he's hiding, he's afraid." Jing-Mei answered.  
  
"Yeah, I know," Benton said quietly. There was an unnerving silence. He wished he only knew the right words to say. "I'm going back to the hospital, do you want a ride?" he finally asked.  
  
"No, I have my car. I think I'm going to find him and make him talk to me," Jing-Mei said. "But see if you can round up a support team for tomorrow. It might help if he sees a few friendly faces tomorrow." Jing-Mei wasn't just asking him, she was silently insistent.  
  
"I'll see what I can do," Benton said as he walked toward his car.  
  
Jing-Mei was about to leave when Mr. Sampson came up to her. "Miss…Miss!"  
  
"Yes?" Jing-Mei asked, confused. She knew that this was the District Attorney assigned to Dave's case, but what did he want with her?  
  
"I'm John Sampson the DA, you're a friend of Dr. Malucci's right?"  
  
"Yes." Jing-Mei answered, still confused.  
  
"Are you going to see him tonight?" Sampson asked.  
  
"I might. What can I do for you?" Jing-Mei asked.  
  
"Well, just tell him not to drink tonight. When Lowe gets him on the stand tomorrow he's going to rip him apart. If he smells alcohol, he'll destroy him." Sampson warned. He was very serious and his eyes were piercing.  
  
"What makes you think that Dave is going to drink?" Jing-Mei asked. She felt stupid for asking, but how would Mr. Sampson know?  
  
"Well he smelled like alcohol today. He claimed that he had a few glasses of wine last night, but he smelled like he drank a lot more than a few glasses of wine. I doubt he'd had just a few," Sampson said. "Miss…"  
  
"Dr. Jing-Mei Chen," she corrected.  
  
"Dr. Chen, I'm really worried about Dr. Malucci, I hope he's ready for what's coming tomorrow. I need him totally prepared and sober."  
  
"What's coming tomorrow?" Jing-Mei asked with dread. Could it even be worse than today?  
  
"Lowe is going to do his best to destroy your friend, Dr. Chen. I just don't want Dr. Malucci to give him any ammunition. Please talk to him," Sampson urged before he left.  
  
Jing-Mei ran to her car and drove to Dave's apartment. After several minutes of banging on the door, she gave up. Where could he be? She had called the hospital, but he wasn't there. There were a million bars in Chicago, how could she find the right one? Jing-Mei walked down the steps and decided that she would try the neighborhood bars first. She just hoped that she found him in time.  
  
Dave had been sitting at the bar, nursing a beer. Sampson's voice in the back of his head kept telling him take it easy. God, all he wanted to do was down a bottle of whiskey. That was the only solution he knew.   
  
"Hey, Dave how's it going?" Mike asked good-naturedly.  
  
"Fine," Dave mumbled in response.  
  
"Something wrong with your beer Dave?" Mike asked. Dave was still acting odd. Mike felt that he should do something, help him somehow, but he wasn't prepared for it. He just hoped it would clear up on its own.  
  
"No. Nothing," Dave answered. Mike began to walk away but Dave stopped him. "Hey Mike give me a double whiskey will ya?"  
  
"Sure Dave," Mike said pouring the whiskey. Mike watched as Dave drank the double shot in one gulp, and chased it with the rest of his beer. Dave motioned for the bartender to fill both. Mike finished both without saying a word, and watched as Dave drained both glasses again.   
  
"Again," Dave said.  
  
"Slow down, Dave," Mike said. "There's plenty, get your load on slow and enjoy it. It isn't a race."  
  
"Again," Dave said, with an edge to his voice. "On second thought, just leave the bottle." Mike did as he was told and watched from the other end of the bar, as Dave downed glass after glass of whiskey.  
  
  
Jing-Mei was about to give up when she walked into Sully's pub. She walked up to the bar and waited for the bartender to come to her. "Hello, little lady," Mike said smiling.  
  
"Hi," Jing-Mei said smiling, avoiding eye contact and instead scanning the bar for Dave. "I was wondering if you knew a Dr. Dave Malucci?"  
  
"Sure, I know Dave," Mike said.  
  
"Have you seen him tonight?" Jing-Mei asked hastily.  
  
"He's at the end of the bar," Mike said pointing to the lump at the end of the bar, and raising an eyebrow slightly.  
  
"Oh, God," Jing-Mei whispered.  
  
"Honey, I'd leave him alone," Mike cautioned. "He's in an ugly mood tonight. He's just looking for a fight."  
  
"Well, he's about to get one," Jing-Mei said as she walked toward Dave.  
  
Dave's head was on the bar and there was an empty bottle of whiskey in his hand. He felt like he was somewhere between being sleep and being awake. He just wasn't quite sure which way he was leaning.  
  
"Dave?" Jing-Mei called as she shook his shoulder. "Dave can you hear me?" Slowly Dave lifted his head, it took a few moments for his eyes to focus on her.   
  
"What are you doing here? I thought I told you to stay away from me!" Dave snapped irately.  
  
Jing-Mei stepped away from him, the smell was sickening. "Well, I was worried about you Dave, I guess I had a reason to be." She scornfully answered.  
  
"Stay away from me Jing-Mei. I don't know how many fucking times I have to say that to you. Get the fuck away from me," he hissed.  
  
"No, I won't and you're coming with me." Jing-Mei persisted.  
  
"No, no I'm not." Dave replied matter-of-factly, lifting up his glass to take another drink.  
  
"Dave, please come with me," Jing-Mei begged as the tears crept into her eyes. "Please I need for you to come with me, please. You have to help me. You can't make me to do everything! Dave!"  
  
Dave took one look at the emotion on her face and melted. "Okay, Jing-Mei don't cry, please don't cry. Not because of me." It was the beer talking, he tried to convince himself; he would never say this willingly, because Jing Mei had to hate him. Didn't she? Jing-Mei helped Dave stand and then helped him walk out of the bar.   
  
Slowly they made their way to Dave's apartment. Once inside, Jing-Mei helped him take off his coat and sat him on the couch. He looked so pathetic; his eyes were sunken and solemn, and he appeared to barely control his body.  
  
"Why are you trying to destroy yourself Dave? Why are you trying to destroy me?" she asked as the tears began to fall. None of this made any sense; how was he reasoning it? What was haunting him so badly that he was killing himself? What could it be?  
  
"I don't want to hurt you Jing-Mei, I just want to be alone," Dave slurred.  
  
"Well, you're not alone anymore. I love you Dave," she blurted out.  
  
"Don't say that!" he yelled, as he stood and staggered across the room.  
  
"Why not? It's true. I love you, Dave Malucci!" she said following him.  
  
"Shut up Jing-Mei!" he screamed in her face.  
  
"I love you! I love you!" she screamed back. Suddenly Dave wheeled around and grabbed her and slammed her against the wall.  
  
"Don't fucking say that again!" Dave warned, his face contorted with rage. "I'm warning you Jing-Mei, I'm warning you!" He stared at her threateningly.  
  
"What are you gonna beat me the way Ray beat you or your mother? Are you that kind of man?" she challenged. She meant to sound hard, but she couldn't; her voice cracked and eased into sounding sorrowful.   
  
"Yes! I am that kind of man! Don't you get it? Are you that fucking stupid? That's what I'm been trying to say all along!" He was pacing now, keeping himself busy; so he wouldn't fulfill what he had just threatened. "I'll destroy you Jing-Mei; stay away from me!"  
  
"I love you," she whispered. Her eyes were brimming with tears and she couldn't keep it from affecting her voice.  
  
"Shut up!" he screamed. He held his hands against his head as if to keep himself from hearing it.  
  
"I love you!" Jing-Mei repeated, louder. Suddenly Dave lashed out and slammed his fist into the wall, not two inches from her face. Then silence, absolute silence. Dave was breathing heavily, as was Jing-Mei. Dave looked into her eyes and saw fear, mixed with love. "I knew you couldn't hit me," she whispered. "You're not that kind of man, Dave. You're a good man, a gentle man," she said as she started to sob. Almost unknowingly she fell into his arms. "And I love you."  
  
"I love you too," he whispered. "I do love you, Jing-Mei," he wept. "But I'm not good enough for you. There are so many things about me that you do not know, that I can't tell you. Please, if you love me, you'll let me save you. You'll leave and never look back."  
  
Instead of arguing with him, Jing-Mei leaned in and kissed him softly on the lips. At first he resisted the kiss, but slowly he gave in and kissed her back. He groaned into her mouth, "God, I love you Jing-Mei."  
  
"Dave, I just want to be with you for the rest of my life. Nothing else matters." Jing-Mei muttered softly. She kissed him again. This one was much longer, and much more intimate. Jing-Mei wanted to stay in this moment forever. She couldn't think of anything better than to be in the arms of the one she loved. Dave grew anxious with each moment the kiss continued. Finally he pulled away. Jing-Mei looked at him expectantly.  
  
"I have trial tomorrow." Dave answered dumbly. Jing-Mei felt selfish. She didn't want this to end, but she knew how important this was for Dave.  
  
"Ok." She answered, and she led him to his bed. His drinking had taken its toll, and he could barely walk on his own. He groaned slightly as he fell onto his bed and buried his face in his pillows.  
"Dave, I think we should talk." Jing-Mei started quietly. Dave's only answered were muffled noises barely audible.  
"Dave, you have to quit drinking." She muttered almost under her breath, but then continued with what she had meant to say from the beginning. "Dave. I want to be closer to you. I want to be the closest person to you. And I…." she paused, she wanted Dave to listen at what she was trying to hint at. "Dave?" She asked when she detected no movement from him. "Dave?" there was still no answers. Jing Mei sighed, this would have been the night, she could feel it. Yet, she was glad it hadn't happened; Dave was too drunk, and he probably wouldn't have remembered anyway. She pulled the blanket up and over him. "Sweet dreams." She whispered.  
  
~~~  
  
But everything I can't remember as  
fucked up as it all may seem to be  
I know it's me I cannot blame this on my  
father he did the best he could for me  
  
It's been awhile  
Since I could hold my head up high  
and it's been awhile since I said  
I'm sorry  
  
~~~  
  
Benton walked into the ER. He knew what Jing-Mei wanted him to do, he just didn't want to do it. Kerry saw him glancing around and walked towards him.  
  
"Hello Benton, I didn't know you were working today." Kerry stated politely; why was he here? Was there something wrong?  
  
"Hey Kerry, I just came here to tell some people that they should come to the trial to support Dave." Benton answered innocently, already scanning for anyone that may be interested.  
  
"Oh, that's a good idea." Already she was wondering why she hadn't been invited to go offhand, and if Ray had been invited. "Well, go spread the word; I've got an ER to run." With that Kerry hobbled off, still contemplating her unanswered questions.  
  
Benton ran into Carter. "Hey Benton, what's the matter?" Carter asked.  
  
"Nothing, Jing-Mei just wants me to find people to go the Dave's trial tomorrow. Do you know who isn't working?" Benton asked.  
  
"Well, I'm not working for one. I don't know about Cleo, but I don't THINK Luka and Abby or working." Carter trailed off. "Well, anyway, count me in. I'll be there."  
  
"Thanks." Benton said. He felt awkward saying 'thanks' but what else could he say? With that he continued throughout the ER.  
  



	15. Get Back: Fade

Get Back: Fade  
By Alyssa  
Disclaimer: "I, Alyssa, do solemnly swear…." Turns briefly to look behind her at the man holding a gun to her back. She clears her throat and continues, "That I do not own any of the characters from the hit show 'ER'." Apparently having finished her job she feels the pressure of the barrel leaving her back.  
  
The first part of the Title is a name of Beatles Song. The second part is from a Staind song. Parts of their lyrics will be in the story. You really have to know the tune of them to get the full effect.  
This is a continuation of 'The Weak Link' series.  
  
Previously:  
Dave has been in court, and things are going a little shaky. Jing Mei tried to rescue him from drinking into oblivion, and Benton tried to round up supporters.   
Thanks to all my readers and the people who E-mail me. Especially Kelley! (again!)  
  
There may be a little swearing, but not much.  
  
  
  
Jing-Mei could feel reality trying to get its grip on her. Her mind continued to fight for sleep, but it was a losing battle. Reluctantly Jing-Mei cracked open her eyes. Where was she? Oh, Dave's apartment. She was so tired. After putting Dave to bed last night, she stayed up for several hours just thinking about him. There was so much that she didn't know, so much he was hiding. She wondered if she would ever find out everything; probably not.  
  
Had they done anything? No. Not that she hadn't wanted to. God, she wanted him last night, but she knew it wasn't the time. When it happened she wanted it to be special. Jing-Mei was still fighting the fogginess left over from her night on the couch. There was something she was forgetting. Definitely something. Her brain whined in protest as she tried to conjure up what it could possibly be.   
The Trial!  
  
She rushed to Dave's room and thrust the sheets to the floor. It was 9:00; he had to get up.  
"Dave, come on! You have to get ready!" Jing-Mei commanded. Dave muttered something along the lines of 'go away'.   
"Dave, I'm serious!" Jing-Mei started to tug on his arm now. She managed to drag his body far enough so that it hung precariously over the edge of the bed. Dave's torso was now completely off the bed, and he began to awaken.  
"You have to go take a shower! And quickly!" she demanded. Dave muttered something about her being bossy and related her to Weaver. He stumbled his way towards the bathroom.  
  
Jing-Mei waited outside the door, glancing periodically from her watch to the bathroom door. He was cutting it close; he had to finish up quickly. Jing-Mei pounded on the door. "Come on Dave! Hurry up!"  
"Be quiet my head hurts!" he whimpered from the bathroom. Suddenly the water shut off and Jing-Mei could hear him being sick. He groaned as he opened the door and came out in his boxers and shirt. Jing-Mei frowned; she could still smell some alcohol.   
  
"Come here." She said softly taking his hand in hers. She went into his bathroom and searched until she found an almost empty shampoo bottle. She filled it up with water and began to shake it.  
  
"What are you doing?" Dave asked as he sat heavily onto the toilet seat. It was the first time this morning that he was able to gather his thoughts into the form of a question.  
  
"Here, get back in the shower and pour this over your body. Let it dry; instant perfumed water." Jing-Mei scurried quickly out of the bathroom. "And hurry!" She added as she shut the door.  
  
~~~  
  
Jing-Mei gripped the steering wheel so hard her knuckles were turning white. If the traffic cooperated, they should be able to get there on time. Dave was lying down with the seat pushed back as far as it could go, and he looked like he was sleeping. Even in his current condition, he was incredibly handsome and sexy. Jing-Mei took a deep breath and tried to calm herself. She was comforted in the fact that even if things went wrong today, everything would still be alright. Dave wasn't the one on trial, she reasoned. Even if Mr. Mason went free, everything would be all right, right?   
  
Jing-Mei watched as the courthouse came into view. Hopefully, today would be the last day she'd have to come here. She quickly pulled into a parking space. She reached over and shook his knee. "Dave, wake up."  
"No," he moaned.  
"Come on. You have to testify," she said sternly.  
Dave opened his eyes and looked at her. "Do you care about me?"  
"Yeah…yes," she stuttered.  
"If you do, you'll drive me away from here."  
"Dave, I know you're nervous, but it will be okay. Just tell the truth," she said, smiling softly at him.  
"I can't tell the truth, Jing-Mei," he said rubbing his temples.  
"Why?" she asked, suddenly startled. Was he hiding something else from her?  
"If I do, it will destroy me," he said sadly.  
  
She looked at him for a minute. "Dave, if you really want to leave. I'll take you anywhere you want to go. But you can't always run away from things." she said.  
"I've been running all my life, Jing-Mei. I don't know if I can stop now," he said, his voice catching in his throat.  
"You have to Dave. If you don't you'll never be able to be happy."  
"You're right," he sighed, closing his eyes again. "I'm just so tired."   
She wondered briefly if he meant from his life or the alcohol. She didn't know what to do, or what to say. He needed to hear something comforting, or maybe just brutally honest. Maybe he needed sympathy, or empathy. He just needed something, and she wasn't sure if she'd be able to give it to him.  
"Come on," she said getting out of the car and pulling him with her. "You're going to be awake through this aren't you?" Jing-Mei asked him and the walked quickly to where he was supposed to meet Mr. Sampson.  
"Unfortunately, yeah, I'm awake." Dave answered. He looked tired, but at least he was clean, as for sober, that was anyone's guess.  
  
They found Mr. Sampson waiting for them in the lobby. He smiled as he saw them approach.  
"I almost started to think you weren't going to make it!" He moved over and took Dave's arm to lead him to a room where they could talk. He glanced back at Jing-Mei and gave her a thankful smile.  
Jing-Mei watched as they walked down the hall. Soon she was alone the lobby, and she looked around: wondering just what she was supposed to do.  
  
"Hey Deb." A voice came from behind her; a voice that brought her real comfort for the first time that morning.  
  
"John." She said as she turned around to greet him.  
"Benton told me I should come for support. How is he doing?" Carter asked softly.  
"Good. I think…." Jing-Mei frowned, but quickly turned it into a smile. "I'm sure everything will be alright."   
"Yeah, me too." Carter answered. Neither one sounded convinced.  
  
~~~  
  
"Dave, I just wanted to go over some things with you," Sampson said.  
"Sure, I could use all the help I can get," Dave said, trying to seem normal. Whatever that was.  
"Don't get defensive and don't lie," Sampson started. "If you get caught in a lie, Lowe will crucify you and we'll lose."  
"Okay," Dave said. God, if Sampson only knew how many lies he had already told he would probably have a heart attack. "How long do you think I'll be on the stand?"  
"Probably most of the day, but maybe not. Sometimes it's hard to say," Sampson responded. "Dave…"  
"Yeah?"  
"Lowe mentioned that he had a lengthy cross in store for you, is there anything I should know about?"  
Dave looked at the DA for a minute, and for a fleeting moment thought about telling him everything…all his lies. But then, he thought about it, and reasoned he could probably make his way through the cross, and no one would ever have to know. How could Lowe know anything about his childhood anyway? Dave was sure that he could handle anything that came up…at least he hoped so. "I…I don't know," Dave lied again.  
"Did you drink last night?"  
"Yeah," Dave responded.  
"I thought so," the DA sighed. "Why?"  
"Listen, I'm over 21 and I wasn't driving. I didn't commit any crimes so what's the big deal," Dave snapped.  
"The big deal is that you have to testify in open court today. You need to be on your game, or that defense attorney is going to rip you apart and bury the pieces. If he gets the chance, he will destroy you on the stand, Dr. Malucci. And like it or not you are my case, you had a responsibility, to me and to yourself."  
Dave looked at the floor. "I…I'm sorry. It's just hard for me to cope with things right now and I needed something to take the edge off."  
"I know this isn't easy for you, Dr. Malucci," the DA said softly. "I just don't want to see you get hurt more." After several moments of silence he continued, "Are you sober enough to testify?"  
"Yeah," Dave said miserably.  
"Okay, go out and buy some gum and some very strong cough drops, the kind with cough medicine in them. Chew the gum until you take the stand. When you take the stand spit the gum out and eat the cough drops. And try to relax." As if he had ordered this prognosis many times before.  
"Okay," Dave said still looking at the floor. Dave looked at the DA for a minute. "I hope I don't let you down, Mr. Sampson."  
"I won't be the one let down Dave, you will. Just do the best you can and thanks for cooperating," Sampson said shaking Dave's hand.   
  
~~~  
I only know that I can change  
Everything else just stays the same  
So now I step out of the darkness  
that my life became 'cause  
~~~  
  
Dave chewed the gum as he walked back to the courtroom. He was just rounding a corner but stopped and turned back. They were there. A lot of them at least. Benton and Jing-Mei, Carter and Luka, even Cleo was there. Kerry wasn't; and Dave almost sighed in relief. They were blocking his only path to the courtroom. He didn't want to face them now, not now. He still had half an hour, and he was going to utilize every minute of it. He briskly made his way to the bathroom, trying his best to look inconspicuous to the people around him.   
  
As the bathroom door closed behind him he was able to breathe again. He closed his eyes and tried to sort out the feelings running through his head.  
"Why, hello son." A crude voice laughed. Dave's eyes shot open defensively, and his recently found breath escaped him again.  
"What are you doing here?" Dave whispered threateningly.  
"I was invited," Ray smiled, trying to look hurt. "By your boss." Dave's voice locked in his throat. Kerry again.   
"She had no right to do that." Dave answered softly.  
"It's an open trial, Dave." Ray almost laughed.  
"Go to hell." Dave whispered, turning again towards the door.  
  
Ray stuck out his hand to stop the door from opening. Dave turned slowly to see his smirking stepfather.  
"You're a sad, sadistic, megalomaniac. Just leave me alone!" Dave burst with his final sentence, breaking the calm, collective voice he had started with and tried to maintain. He was stronger than Ray, and he quickly pulled the door open and rushed out.  
  
~~~  
I try to breathe  
Memories overtaking me  
I try to face them but  
The thought is too much to conceive  
~~~  
  
Mr. Lowe had Dave on the stand. He couldn't help but smile, Dr. Malucci had no idea what was coming to him.  
"So you were kneeling to get your bicycle and someone hit you from behind. Is that correct?" Mr. Lowe asked.  
"Yes." Dave answered plainly.  
"So you couldn't see your attacker?" Mr. Lowe clarified.  
"No, not until I fell onto my back." Dave answered calmly.  
"So you had already been hit. Is there any chance that your vision was affected and you couldn't see your attacker very well?" Mr. Lowe was just playing, no matter what Dave said he knew he had him.  
"I don't think so." Dave responded, he couldn't be sure, but he thought he had seen Mr. Mason clearly.  
"Describe Mr. Mason for the jury." Lowe asked.  
"Umm..." Dave was confused. Why was he doing this? Mr. Mason was right over there, and plainly anyone could see him. "Medium height…. Medium build…. Brown hair and eyes….." Dave couldn't think of anything else to say. He felt like was being tested.  
  
"Now, describe your father for me." Lowe was smiling, just slightly; maybe nobody else could see it, but he was. Dave just gaped at him. What did this mean? Jing-Mei took a breath and moved considerably closer to Benton, not even realizing she was doing it. What was he getting at?  
"Describe your father." Lowe demanded harshly. He was done with his toying; he wanted to get down to the actual kill.  
"Uhhh…." Dave responded again.   
"Medium height, medium build, brown hair and brown eyes." Lowe answered for him. He carried two pictures in his hand and said. "I request to submit this into evidence."  
"Objection!" Mr. Sampson yelled, standing up from his seat. "This is irrelevant."  
"With all due respect Your Honor, this directly affects my case." Lowe explained.  
"Overruled. Continue Mr. Lowe." Judge Cannon responded.  
"Thank you Your Honor." Mr. Lowe walked up to the jury and showed them to two pictures. "The one on the left is Mr. Mason, and the one on the right is Mr. Wilson, Dr. Malucci's stepfather." Then he walked up to show Dave. "Don't you think that it is a little strange that the man you accused as your attacker looks as though he could be your father's twin?" He asked, tauntingly.  
"Uhh….. No." Dave finally answered. His mind was racing, trying to predict every possible question that might be asked next, and trying just as quickly to think up a legitimate response.  
"You don't?" Lowe asked, soundly genuinely surprised. Jing-Mei took a deep breath and found herself grabbing Benton's arm. Benton felt Jing-Mei's uneasiness and wondered himself what was going on.  
"You were beaten, by somebody, and you blamed it on someone who looked like your father." Lowe simplified. Then it hit Dave. Somehow or other Lowe had found out about the abuse. He stared open-eyed at Lowe, and Lowe smiled back. Everyone besides Dave, Lowe, Lenny, and Jing-Mei and Ray himself were confused. Dave hadn't been ready for that question.  
  
"Oh, no." Jing-Mei whispered. Benton looked at her sideways. What did she know?  
"Ok, Dr. Malucci, answer me this: How many times were you admitted to a hospital as a child?" Lowe asked.  
"I…. Uhhh….. I don't know." Dave responded. He felt his heart thump and his head spin. Why was this happening?  
"How about thirteen times? Does that sound reasonable? Thirteen times in five different hospitals, between the ages of 9 and 14. What about that?" Lowe asked abrasively. The whole courtroom seemed to gasp softly. Jing-Mei's clutch on Benton's arm became a death grip, and Benton finally understood all that had happened with Dave in the last months.  
"I... I don't know…… Maybe." Dave stuttered. Lowe walked back to the defense table, grabbed a file of photographs.  
"I wish to submit these photographs from medical records as evidence." Lowe said, walking towards the jury. He slowly and grippingly showed them each individual picture. Then he repeated the act with the audience. Each picture showed a gruesome bruise, cut, or burn. Jing-Mei choked and turned away, digging her face into Benton's shoulder. Benton shook his head and looked away also.  
"Dr. Malucci, do you remember why you were admitted so many times?" Lowe asked loudly, approaching Dave menacingly.  
"Objection!" Sampson yelled, stamping to his feet. "He's battering the witness!"  
"Sustained." Judge Cannon agreed. "Mr. Lowe, you better get to your point."  
"I was just coming to that your honor. 'DR.' Malucci, were you, or were you not, beaten by your father?" Lowe asked a little softer, but not much.   
  
Dave stared at him dumbfounded. How had it suddenly turned against him? Why did he have to face this? Why did he have to face this here? Where there were people present that he didn't want to know? How much of his life would change? It had changed so much recently, did it even matter anymore?  
  
"You are under oath Dr. Malucci. Now were you, or were you not, beaten by your father?" Lowe's voice was rising with annoyance. The whole courtroom held its breath, waiting listlessly for his answer. Dave looked down, gulped, and then looked up again.  
"Yes." He answered as evenly as possible.  
"Ok! So, you were beaten repeatedly by your father, and now you accuse his look alike as your attacker!" He turned dramatically to the jury.   
  
Dave turned slowly to where he had seen Jing-Mei sitting. It felt like a dream. It felt as if time had stopped, and nothing else mattered except what he wanted to matter. It felt like he could change things if he really wanted to. But he knew that it was absurd and probably a defensive action conjured up by the brain; and yet it was comforting to believe. Jing-Mei turned her head from where she had been looking at Benton, and met his eyes. They sat there, in the silent, still courtroom. Dave knew Mr. Lowe was talking, and somewhere back in his mind he may have even registered it; but it was much better to not know for sure. He closed his eyes, and when he opened them, it was over.  
  
~~~  
  
I only know that I can change  
Everything else just stays the same  
So now I step out of the darkness  
that my life became 'cause  
  
~~~  
  
Dave had wanted to leave the moment he got off the stand, but Mr. Sampson had stopped him. The DA had said something about waiting for the verdict, and had made Dave wait in a room. It only took the jury two hours to make its decision, and Dave tried to guess if this was a good or bad sign. Reluctantly he was called back to the courtroom, where he was forced to stand next to Mr. Sampson at their table.  
  
He watched as the jury filed in one by one. He looked that them all, tried to read their faces, but they refused to look at him. He knew it; he just knew what was happening. His eyes grew weary and tense, his fists clenched and unclenched themselves without his telling them to do so, and his heartbeat rang in his ears.   
  
One juror stood up. He said something, and the judge said something in return; but all Dave heard was ringing. The juror started to talk again, and again all Dave heard was ringing until  
'Not guilty' pierced cleanly through his protective shroud.  
  
~~~  
  
Dave tried to avoid them, but somehow he ended up right in the middle of their group.  
"Dave… I'm… I'm… I'm just so sorry... I…" Cleo looked speechless, and a little embarrassed, which was a new look for her. Dave nodded in her direction, smiled, and carried himself forward.  
"Dave, we expected maybe…. But you still could have…" Was all Luka got out before Dave smiled and passed him as well.  
"Dave, come on… Talk to me…" Carter said and he reached for Dave's arm to stop his rapid escape. Dave turned towards him, smiled, and continued on. The muscles around Dave's lips ached from the sustained forced smile. They used to be stronger, Dave mused. Six months ago he could smile for an entire day and his muscles never protested. Their lack of use during the last months must have caused the degeneration.  
  
"Dave." Benton's voice boomed as it always did; forcefully. Dave was forced out of his mini train of thought as he turned to look at the imposing surgeon.  
"Hey, I don't need your condolences. It was a long time ago, and I've gotten along just fine." Dave answered before a question could be asked.  
"We're your friends. You should have told us." Benton said. Dave couldn't handle it. He had just lost a trial against a man who tried to kill him, and Benton still found some way to criticize him.   
"Don't kid yourself Benton. We were never friends." Dave spat as he walked closer to Benton. "The nicest thing I'd get from you was a scowl. The NICEST. Same for Corday, Weaver, Chen, and Mark for that matter. The rest, well, they wouldn't go to any significant measures to talk to me either." Dave had wanted to get it out for some time, and now that everything was messed up anyway he was glad to get it out. "I don't blame you though; I didn't really like you guys either." He turned and started towards the door.  
"Well, we're your friends now. You could have told us when he first showed up." Benton continued. Dave pivoted sharply and walked back towards Benton. The rest of the group was watching speechlessly, but Dave didn't care; let them watch.  
"Maybe you never asked, or maybe I just didn't want everyone to know." Dave offered.  
"Well, I'm sure that if you had at least told Kerry she wouldn't have pushed Ray on you." Benton tried to watch his decibel level, noticing that people were starting to stop and eavesdrop on this confrontation.  
"I should have told her? I should have told her?" Dave asked incredulously. "Maybe, just maybe, I was happy with the ways things were, and maybe I knew that telling anybody would change that. Maybe people should stick to their own business and not try to force anyone on anybody else!" Dave started to walk away again, but returned before anybody could stop him. He raised his finger at Benton, but lowered it just as quickly. He continued with a considerably lower voice. A voice that was somewhat gravelly, like he was tired, or sick. "It wasn't her fault, though. I knew I shouldn't trust him, my gut told me not to." His voice was calm and level, but his eyes betrayed him. He was squinting and turning his head minutely from side to side, as if searching for some great truth that lay on the floor. And then, apparently having found it, he turned back to Benton. His voice was almost a whisper, and the others leaned in slightly. "I still did though. I still trusted that bastard." He paused, as if deciding whether or not the man in front of him deserved to hear the truth that Dave had to reveal. "The moment you trust anybody you are a sitting duck, an easy target. It will only get you hurt." Dave whispered, contempt in his voice. "Take my advice. Never trust anyone." With that Dave walked off and nobody tried to stop him.  
  
~~~  
  
I just needed someone to talk to  
You were just to busy with yourself  
You were never there for me  
To express how I felt  
I just stuffed it down  
Now I'm older and I feel like  
I could let some of this anger fade  
But it seems the surface I am scratching  
Is the bed that I have made  
  
So where were you?  
When all this I was going through  
You never took the time  
To ask me just what you could do  
  
  
~~~ 


End file.
